Bed Room Online

15 secrets you never knew about your girl

2009-11-15T15:54:00.002+05:30

The woman in your life may give you her heart, soul and, of course, her body, but still there’s a part of her being that she’ll never share with you ... stuff that makes her a mystery .
Yes, your woman is a den of mysteries hinted to you in her sly smile, enigmatic laughter or that sudden silence. She just pretends to be one, but is never an open book to you. Her deepest secrets are what add to her charm ... but render you an outsider in her own ‘Secret Garden’. Secrets of her unshared yearnings, cherished fantasies or for that matter, a secret lover from the past ...
Here’s a peep into those hidden secrets ... dig into them at your own risk!
- I might just hate it when you sleep in that office shirt, but when you are away, I love to snuggle up in your shirt because it smells of you.
- Though I insist on paying the bill or sharing it in our initial dates, I’ll find you cheap and so non-chivalrous in case you don’t insist on making the payment.
- Long before we explored each other’s bodies, I had been fantasizing about being with you. That inhibition was only to get assured that you are all mine.
- I do think about my ex-es and compare them to you. Mostly you win, but you are not all perfect.
- ‘I don’t care you call or not’ is pure pretence. In fact, I start waiting for your next call the moment one ends. Not just this, I eagerly want you to plan our next date even before the current one ends. I might not show it. So, don’t fret about looking desperate just call! The gap looks like a lifetime to me.
- During the initial days of our relationship, I used to save all our chat histories and your SMSes and read them again and again. Sometimes, made my friends read them, too.
- The day you shared your password with me, digging into your chat records and mails was the first thing I did.
- I would love to know what turns you on. Though, I know it’s going to be hilarious as I’ve seen your frequently-visited porn sites.
- You don’t have to be a ‘good boy’ with me all the time. I don’t mind talking a little dirty.
- You are my soul mate, but my ‘best friend’ is my confidante. From the size of your pay cheque, bank account to the size of your other assets...she knows it all. So, till you are telling her how much you love me all’s fine. Remember she’s my best friend and never yours.
- You rightly blame me for bombarding you with so many questions. But, that’s my way of testing you. I judge and analyse you on every word, expression, action, e-mail or SMS you write to me or someone else. So, when I ask “Do you fantasize about other women?,” the answer has to be “Why would I when I am with you?” So, better watch out!
- I love to make you a little jealous as it makes me feel wanted. So the next time you spot me flirting with your friend, know that I’m actually flirting with you through her.
- Every time I fight with you is because I feel ignored. Don’t get into your cocoon when I’m bad. Just give me what I’m fighting for – a little attention and I’ll be all yours.
- I love to get constant reminders of the much known fact that – you need me. So, what’s the harm in dropping liners saying ‘You complete me’ or ‘Don’t ever leave me alone’ ... ?
- Last but not the least, irrespective of how independent and self-driven I am, how ever much I may say that I don’t need a man to be happy, but still I want you to take charge when we are in bed.

Now, kids find a sex game!

2009-11-15T15:21:00.000+05:30

Brit kids, as young as seven, are increasingly shopping for "shag bands"- cheap plastic bracelets with different colours, referring to various sex acts.
Available for just 1 pound on any High Street, the shag bands have become the latest craze among students, and horrified parents across the country. The different colours - black, blue, red, pink, purple, orange, yellow, green and gold - show how far the little pupils will "go" if propositioned, from a kiss to full sex.
Kids chase each other around schools, and, if they break the band off the wearer’s wrist, the wearer has to offer the physical act that corresponds to the colour of the band. "A yellow band is the best because all it means is you have to hug a boy. An orange means a love bite and purple is a full-on snog," The Sun quoted a 12-year-old girl as saying.
"If a boy breaks a pink band, a girl has to flash her boobs, a red band means you have to give him a lap dance and a blue is some sort of oral sex. The black means you have to go all the way with a boy. "A gold band is the most important and means you have to do all of the above. They are pretty rare, so if you find a gold band in a shop, you have to get your mum to buy it. "I don’t think parents have any idea what the bracelets mean because all the kids at my school wear them and don’t get told off," she added.
And if this is not enough, those who do not wear a bracelet are looked down by their peers, while they get respect for wearing the more daring black and gold ones. Parents, who happen to know about the trend, are disgusted with the promiscuous behaviour their kids are indulging in. While some schools and parents have confiscated the bands, many are still unaware of the meaning behind the bracelets.
Another shocking craze many parents are oblivious to is "rainbow parties" - booze and drug-fuelled gatherings where girls wear bright lipstick of different colours to leave their "mark" on boys while giving them oral sex.

How to endure a sex marathon

2009-11-15T15:11:00.000+05:30

Not very often does one get the opportunity to spend extended lovemaking time with their lover, but when such rare occasion does arise one should make it a point to keep it enjoyable as well as enduring.
Enduring a sex marathon can take a few hours or longer if the situation demands it, and many times it could go all night.
Thus, to keep oneself in good form, even the most virile and energetic must rest and rejuvenate, reports Fox News.
Before embarking on your sex marathon, it is better to be well-fed (but not too well) with food that releases energy slowly (such as grains and low GI carbohydrates) and be well hydrated.
And here are some tips on enduring a sex marathon:

Don’t orgasm
You can do this by choosing positions that provide less stimulation - because everyone is different, only you will know what these are for you. Change positions if you feel like you’re losing the power of your drive and erection or getting too close to orgasm. Bear in mind that having an orgasm isn’t the end of the session and you can take a rest before you continue. This is a good time to experiment with positions that you may not have tried with your partner.
Pleasure her to keep the focus off of you
If you do happen to need a rest while enduring a sex marathon or you do orgasm, you can easily shift the focus off of you and onto her. This can include cuddling, fondling, massage, general touching, and kissing. A rest does not have to be totally sexual in nature, and it is just as nice to make love for hours as it is to just touch each other in nice ways - or invent new ways of loving.

Don’t drink too much
Alcohol is known to be a relaxant and can be a wonderful addition to the time you share with your lover. In saying that, after two or more drinks, alcohol lowers a man’s ability to achieve and maintain erections, and can trigger an inability to orgasm for a long time. Alcohol also has sedative effects - it could cause you to fall asleep easily. Drinking can also encourage unsafe behaviour. Drinking too much alcohol will not help enduring a sex marathon.

Get creative
While enduring a sex marathon, you can introduce sex toys like vibrators, beads or sex paraphernalia such as whips, ropes and blindfolds. Food is also a great diversion and pleasure- ice cream, chocolate sauce or whipped cream are great. Get creative - you can draw out the process for quite some time with some very lusty teasing using these objects.

Keep lube handy
One of the main problems of sex play for hours could be dryness, so keep some good quality lubricant handy, one that tastes nice and is non-greasy. A glass of water nearby is also going to be useful, not only to rehydrate but to moisten your mouth.

Is it essential to have sex on first night?

2009-11-05T01:05:00.000+05:30

Question : I am a 23-year- old girl and will be getting married soon. However, I am getting increasingly worried about the sexual relationship that marriage will bring with it. Since I have never been in any relationship before, most of my doubts about sex have been clarified by my friends. But my biggest concern is that if my husband forces me to have sex on our first night together, I will not be ready for it. Tell me, is it essential for the marriage to be consummated on the first night itself ?
Answer: Most of the people I have known consummated their marriage several days after they were married. Of course, that is if they hadn't done so before the wedding day itself ! In today's world, in which pre-marriage festivities go on for several days, if not weeks, the newly-weds are probably sleeping together even before they hit the suhaag raat bed.
Postmarriage, it is only when all the tiredness and fatigue of the wedding ceremonies have eased off that the couple gets into the mood. However, if the first few encounters are not pleasurable enough, these will probably leave a negative impact on the psyche.
Here's a message for all those out there who are about to hit the nuptial sack: Consummate at ease, or repent at leisure! Sex or making love can be the source of so much pleasure, provided a few clumsy, hasty, pain-filled strokes at the outset don't leave any kind of negative mark on the psyche of any of the two participants. My clinic cupboards are full of case histories of couples who thought that the suhaag raat was make or break day when the butterflies had to be set free. And they were finally presented with vaginismus or erectile dysfunction/impotence because of their unseemly haste.

How to avoid premature ejaculation?

2009-11-05T01:02:00.000+05:30

Question: How can one avoid premature ejaculation?

Answer: You must try to become more aware of your body and how you respond during sex, from the initial excitement through the plateau when you’re fully aroused up till the time you reach your orgasm. Take deep breaths. This helps interrupt your stress response and forces you to relax. Also, try to be active with your whole body during sex—using full-body caresses and non-genital touching—instead of merely fixating on your penis.

How to Have Safe Sex

2009-11-05T00:59:00.000+05:30

Things You'll Need

Condoms With Spermicide
Dental Dams
Female Condoms
Latex Gloves
Lubricated Latex Condoms
Personal Lubricants
Specialty Condom
Step
1
Know your partner. Sex with anonymous partners carries a higher risk, as the HIV and STD (sexually transmitted disease) status of the partner is unknown.

Step
2
Touching provides a minimal amount of risk. HIV and most other STDs are not transmitted merely through touching, except for syphilis. If contact is made with an open sore or ulcer on a person's genitalia caused by syphilis, a risk of transmission does exist.

Step
3
Kissing provides a minimal amount of risk as well. But cold sores, often caused by the herpes virus, can be transmitted by kissing so you should avoid kissing if you or your partner is having an outbreak.

Step
4
Be sure to use a condom or dental dam when having genital-oral sex.

Step
5
Use a dental dam, or a condom cut lengthwise, when having anal-oral sex. Vaccination against hepatitis A is recommended as well.

Step
6
Keep in mind that other diseases can also be transmitted to both partners by oral sex. These include gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis, herpes, genital warts, parasites, giardia and hepatitis.

Step
7
Don't forget to use a female condom or condom with spermicide when having vaginal intercourse. Unprotected vaginal sex carries a very high risk of transmitting HIV between partners. Remember that other diseases can also be transmitted to both partners during vaginal sex, including gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis, herpes, genital warts and hepatitis.

Step
8
Use condoms when having anal sex, as microscopic tears in the anal wall occur easily and provide a rapid and efficient mode of transmission for HIV. Use lubricant or lubricated condoms to prevent friction that can disturb the lining of the anal canal.

Step
9
Remember that other diseases can also be transmitted to both partners during anal sex, including gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis, herpes, genital warts and hepatitis.

Step
10
Wash all sex toys between partners to decrease the risk of transmitting HIV and other STDs.

Tips & Warnings
Masturbation, next to abstinence, is likely the safest sex.
In male-to-male or female-to-male oral sex, if protection is not used, it is important not to reach orgasm while the penis is inside the partner's mouth. Semen carries a high concentration of HIV. Also, avoid "deep throating" because this vigorous activity may disrupt the tissues at the back of the throat, allowing HIV to be more easily transmitted. It's also best not to brush or floss your teeth before unprotected oral sex.
Oil-based products can compromise the effectiveness of the condom or dental dam and allow HIV to be transmitted - always use water-based lubricants instead.
The person giving oral sex carries a higher risk of acquiring HIV than the person receiving.
Drugs and alcohol can affect your judgement. Several studies have demonstrated increased risks of HIV transmission when one or both partners are intoxicated.
Although female-to-female sex is statistically the least likely form of sexual intercourse in which to acquire and/or transmit HIV, transmission has been reported and safer sex guidelines should be followed.

Top 10 ways to keep her interested

2009-11-05T00:55:00.000+05:30

How does one catch and keep the attention of a beautiful woman one has just met? Try not to be perplexed as by following these quick tips, you should stay on the right track...

You met her for the first time when you were jogging in the park in your block and so was she. She had dropped her mobile somewhere and you had helped her hunt for it. Now that you are friends, you fear losing her to someone more suitable. Don’t worry as here’s a ready reckoner on how you could keep her interested in you – always!

# 1 Improve yourself

It’s utterly delightful for a woman to meet someone who smells fresh, looks divine and is most articulate. Take out sometime to work on yourself. Invest in yourself – get an education on how to attract women naturally – and that’ll do more than anything else to put you on the path to success with the woman you want.

# 2 Re-align your body language

Isn’t it always the physicality of things? When you’re approaching a woman, remember that your body language is more important than the words you use. Don’t be submissive, apologetic body language and voice tones. Think about how you'd act if you were the “selector” – if you wanted to find out if she’s exceptional enough that you’d want to get to know her better, instead of you being concerned about whether or not she's going to like you.

# 3 Know what to say ahead of time

You wouldn’t want to be tongue-tied in front of a woman. So think carefully about the different ways you could start a conversation, pick your favourite, and mentally rehearse it. Most of the guys I know who are great with women use the simplest of simple conversation starters. "Hi." "What are you drinking?" "Hey, are you from around here?" I realize that these sound simple, and they are. But they're so simple that they're disarming. They don't come across as canned "pickup lines,” and they help you figure out very quickly if the woman you're talking to is friendly.

# 4 Be in charge

When you’re out with a woman and you’re teasing her, she might say: "You're mean... Stop it!" or "I don't like that..." Usually it’s because she's trying to see if she can control you, because she perceives that you are now taking control. When this happens, try shooting something back like: "I'm glad you like it." This is confusing to them. Women may argue with you, but deep down they will respect you and feel more attracted towards you.

# 5 Three more dos and don'ts of body language

Do hold yourself upright; think of how you'd hold yourself if you were the most confident man in the world. Do move slowly, gesture slowly and speak slowly. This communicates comfort and confidence. Do pause often. Stay cool, and pause if you need to in order to keep your composure. Don’t talk too fast or too much. This communicates that you're nervous (unless you're naturally a chatty guy). Don’t break eye contact. At first, you need to maintain eye contact until she breaks it. This establishes, at an unconscious level, that you're not afraid. Practice these tips over and over again, and you’ll notice a big difference in how women respond to you.

# 6 Get numbers smoothly

It might surprise you, but if the conversation is going well, a woman will often give you her number within a minute or two of meeting you. The secret is to ask correctly when you’re leaving. Ask her if she has e-mail, then when she says yes, tell her: “Great, I'm leaving, but I'd like to chat with you again. Here, write it down. And write your number there, too." You'll find that many of the women you ask will just give you their e-mail and number that easily. The more you do it, the easier it gets.

# 7 Be comfortable with awkward silences

Most guys get uncomfortable at some point during a date, and they begin to let their emotions and insecurities get the best of them. They start to think, "Uh-oh. I need to do something to impress her, or say something to make her laugh or she won't like me.” If you begin to feel this kind of thing happening, it's probably time to do something. Get up, go for a walk and move around. Tell a funny story about something that happened to you when you were a kid. Go to the store and look at magazines and make fun of famous people. Just do something! The thing that determines whether a silence was "uncomfortable" or not is what you do after the silence is over. If you act cool and casual, then it won't be a big deal.

# 8 Forget the tricks

Many guys think they need to use “trickery” to figure out something important about a woman. Let's say you've placed a personal ad online, a cute woman replies, she sends you a picture, but it only shows her face – and you're interested in women who are tall and slim. Don’t make the mistake of trying to figure out some slick way to get her to share how much she weighs without having to ask. Just e-mail her and say: "Hey, how tall are you and how much do you weigh? I really prefer women who are slim. Let me know.” That's it. Be classy but direct and you’ll get to where you want to go faster.

# 9 Online attention

The mistake men make online is writing normal, boring stuff and asking normal, boring questions. Instead, when you get a reply, e-mail and ask her for her number and tell her that you're swamped with a million messages from supermodels who keep bragging about how much money they have, and she needs to act fast or you'll be gone. Do not, under any circumstances, talk about lame, normal stuff. This will give you an advantage over 90 per cent of the other men looking for women online.

#10 Don't give in to tantrums

Many women will test you by complaining about themselves. The next time this happens, take whatever she’s saying and turn it up a notch. If she says: "My hair makes me look so ugly,” just reply, "You know, I wasn't going to say anything, but..." Remember, combine cocky with funny and you have an excellent chance of hitting her attraction buttons. If you really want to be bold, just say: "So, what am I going to get paid for babysitting tonight?" Or even better, "Did this stuff work on your dad? Why didn't he spank you more?"

Condom slipped! Took pill, can I get pregnant?

2009-11-03T23:08:00.002+05:30

Question: During our last intercourse, the condom slipped off. Though I took a morning-after pill, I worry that I may be pregnant. Is it possible? Also, do morning-after pills work as contraceptives too?
Answer: If you took the morning-after pill within 72 hours of intercourse, it is not possible for you to get pregnant, However, since different pills have different dosages, check with your gynaecologist and follow the full course. But the morning-after pill is only an emergency pill. It is not to be used regularly as a contraceptive. Other than condoms (and female condoms are not commonly available in India), you can try these contraceptive methods. Contraceptive pills: They are of two kinds: combined pills (containing both estrogens and progesterone) and progesterone pills (recommended for lactating women). These can be taken from Days three–five of your menstrual cycle till Day 21.
Safe days:
The seven days starting from the first day of your menstrual cycle constitute the safe zone for unprotected intercourse. The next 10 days are highly unsafe, as the ovum matures and is ready to be fertilised. The last five to seven days are safe. But remember, ova and sperms stay alive for 42-72 hours. If a sperm stays alive in your unsafe period, you may just get pregnant in the safe period! So, this is not a foolproof method.
Pessary:
This hormone-containing tablet is inserted into the vagina 30 minutes before intercourse.
Copper T:
This has to be surgically inserted and comes in different versions, which can last three, five or 10 years.

Should I tell my hubby about my extra-marital affair?

2009-11-03T23:05:00.002+05:30

Question: I am a 26-year woman and I got married last year. Before my marriage, I had an affair with my sister’s brother-in-law. It Should I tell my hubby about myextra-marital affair?
all started accidentally. There was no attraction between us to start with. However, we have become intimate with each other. This sexual intimacy continued for nearly three years. Then I got married but my husband has not been able to provide the sort of sexual fulfilment that I was getting from my boyfriend. He still keeps on visiting us or I go to his house to have sex on a regular basis. I keep wondering whether I should tell my husband about this affair or else continue with it discretely.
Answer: Do not lose sight of one unalterable fact. And that is, there is a time and place for everything. If there was more in this affair for you than plain sexual gratification, I am sure you would have sought it out for yourself. Either you didn’t, or you did and it did not work out. And if it did not evolve into anything better then, what is the catalyst this time? Get rid of preconceived notions or biases about the sexual act. There is no reason why your husband cannot be a better lover than he is now, if only you become a more willing participant. And that is only going to start when you stop making odious comparisons. The day your dalliance comes out in the open, in all probability, there is going to be no sexual fulfilment, no boyfriend, no marriage and no husband. Concentrate on your marital relationship.

What should you think during sex?

2009-11-03T23:02:00.000+05:30

You might have read a lot about foreplay acts that can arouse your senses for a steamy romp, aphrodisiacs that can boost your sex drive, sex positions that can bring the ultimate gratification in bed. But none would have actually paid attention to the thoughts that run through our minds while having sex.
It apparently remains a lesser known fact that ‘thoughts’ play a crucial role in evoking your sexual senses and can also enhance your bedroom performance. However it varies from one couple to another as to what they prefer envisioning while having sex. But it surely has to be something that tends to boost your sexual performance and adds to your lovemaking joy.
Dr. Amit Agarwal, a Mumbai-based sexologist explains, “Focused thoughts about sex-related acts make you feel sexually charged up and thus your performance also gets improved. It could be anything from thinking about an erotic novel to a porn film scene to recalling your best sexual experience so far. It might not be easy to keep thinking about the same thing, so bring variety into your thoughts and let them wander freely, but keep ‘sex’ as the main domain.”
Dr. Chirta Bakshi, a relationship counselor adds, “Couples must think only ‘sex’ while performing in bed. Keeping other things in mind including kids, workplace tensions, friends and household work etc. will just kill the passion and hence create troubles in your sexual relationship.”
So if a few little thoughts can heighten your love sensations like never before, then why not let them exist in your head each time you gear up for an intimate sack session.
Here we list some effective thoughts, thinking of which will certainly do wonders in your sexual paradise and will keep you sexually aroused for a night of passion...
Scene from a porn flick : Visualising a sexually arousing and naughty film scene is bound to push you towards a steamier sex romp. It will not only induce your sexual senses to act wilder, but will let you get more intense in your performance as you keep thinking about that sensual porn scene.
Khajurao paintings : Apart from a movie scene, Khajurao art has the power to instill a feeling of sexual intimacy. Thinking and envisaging the sexually arousing paintings embedded on the walls of Khajurao detailing various sex positions is bound to add to your sex drive and bring in a temptation for you to try those acts.
Kamasutra teachings : It brings immense pleasure and knowledge to watch a Kamasutra film together with your partner. And it can be more helpful if you let those teachings be a part of your sex session. Think how the couple in the movie made love to each other, recall the passion with which they came closer and as you let the same mood build in your bedroom, try reacting the movie moves to make your night headier.
Sexually inclined literature : You might have read a romantic or sexual novel sometime in the past, but there's no use letting it be dumped in your mind. Bring out the erotica that it intended to create. While making love to your partner, think about some special excerpts and sentences from the novel, which lets you get more intimate with your lover. Reading some sex oriented stuff and then implementing the same in your bedroom will heighten pleasure.
The Big O : Reaching the climax is one thing and thinking about it during sex is even more enticing. While performing in bed and as you proceed towards the peaking moments, keeping the Big O moment in mind helps activate the passion like never before. Think how your partner moaned the last time when you had a gratifying orgasm and the mere thought of it will intensify your excitement.
Sexual fantasies : Sharing your fantasies enhances your sexual pleasure, but thinking about your fantasies during sex is the best way to add punch to your sexual performance. During sex, it’s good to let your sexual desires run through your mind and as you move towards fulfilling them, the degree of joy will surely be more than what you expected.
Past sex encounter : Recalling your most enjoyable sex-escapade helps in recreating an altogether different mood and you will be charged up in bed to perform better than before. Just thinking about what all you did on a particular night will make you feel happier and will add to the sexual experience as you try to add more to it. But be a bit extra cautious while thinking about a past sex encounter as it may backfire if you mistakenly compare your partner with someone else.
Romantic time spent together : Remembering the cherished moments has all reasons to add joy to your sex life. It’s not necessarily that you think only about the sexual time spent together, but also the special moments, memorable dates etc... that can be gratifying during a lovemaking act. It will let you strengthen the love bond you share with your partner, which in turn will lead to a potent sex romp.

Make fantasy sharing more exciting

2009-11-03T22:58:00.002+05:30

With sexual fantasies giving a much-needed kick to your sex life, it’s a common practice for couples to harbour these desires. But when it comes to sharing them with their respective partners, a lot of couples feel apprehensive about baring their soul.
Naughty or child-like, wild or porn-inspired, simple or out-of-the-box, the innate nature of sexual fantasies varies for different couples. But unless you share them with your lover, it’s futile to expect that they can bring changes to your sexual paradise. Couples also need to realise that there’s nothing wrong in harbouring a sexual fantasy as it’s absolutely normal.
Gitanjali Sharma, a relationship counselor explains, “You can directly communicate to your partner about what’s on your mind on a particular night. But your fantasy is not attached here. So an appropriate way to make fantasy sharing creative is to give small hints, signals and signs for your lover to catch. This way you would neither feel shy nor will it appear that you are directly asking for something. At the same time, an atmosphere will be created and your message will be conveyed. Consequently, your partner would be aroused too.”
Partners who feel shy expressing their sexual desires might not get the desired pleasure in bed. So it’s important to exchange these sexual talks with your partner and make it a normal feature of your relationship.
Giranjali further adds, “While sharing or expressing your sexual fantasies, do not send out the message that it’s your need and your partner has to perform them like an obligatory duty. Make an effort to arouse the same desire in them as well, so that both of you will be at same wavelength while performing the act, which is more pleasurable.’
Shedding all inhibitions and making fantasy sharing a simpler task in a relationship, we suggest some easy ways out to open up with your partner...
A recorded tape can say it all : You would have seen this in Bollywood flicks, but a romantic message recorded in your voice can hit your partner’s moan zones the way you want it to. If you feel shy narrating your fantasy in front of your partner, just record it and as soon you proceed towards the bedroom for an intimate session, play the tape and let the passion be felt like never before.
Expert tip : Dr. Anupam Randhawa, a clinical psychologist says, “It’s a great experience to listen to your mate’s voice and when the message being heard is sexual in nature, it’s an icing on the cake. But make sure that while recording, you don’t end up with a long message because it may not sustain your partner’s interest. So, keep it short, spicy and say exactly what you feel.”
Nothing beats the visual medium : Actions can say a lot more than what you think. So make the most of them. If you’re hesitant in communicating your sexual fancies, just seek help from a visual medium. Either pick certain scenes from a movie or let the not-so-realistic porn convey your desires to your partner.
Expert tip : Dr. Amita Mishra, sex and relationship expert shares, “It’s evident that watching erotic videos can give a much desired push to your sexual senses and leave you craving for more. Sharing your sexual fantasy through a visual medium adds more joy to you lovemaking session. You can even perform the act while the video is being played simultaneously to make it more stimulating.”
Aphrodisiacs are in : You might have been cooking dishes that your beau loves, but if you wish to derive benefit out if it, think beyond! Use a lot of strawberries, cherries, kiwi, cream, nuts, red jellies and mango slices to tempt your partner and throw hints that you are charged up for a steamy romp.
Expert tip : Dr. Medha Sharma, a relationship counselor opines, “Whenever you step out of the closet and are creative, it will always add to your sexual bliss. Let the ingredients and the flavour of the dish highlight your sexual desires and then it’s for your partner to figure out that you’re looking forward to a night of passion.”
Say it in bits and pieces : For individuals who aren’t extroverted by nature, it might appear to be a tough task to say everything about their sexual desires at once. So try dividing the entire episode into small parts and let the messages be conveyed to your partner after short intervals throughout the day.
Expert tip : “As you continue sharing tiny features about your sexual fantasy with your partner throughout the day, it will also act as an add-on to their mood. As they sum up all the messages, they will have a clear understanding as to what you expect from them, thus guaranteeing a gratifying act,” feels Dr. Randhawa.
Let your gestures do the talking : Remember that your body language can reveal a lot about you, which you may not put across in words. At least when it comes to letting your partner learn your fantasies, this is the ultimate weapon, where your body says much about what you expect in bed.
Expert tip : “Passing sexual hints is an effective medium to communicate what’s running through your mind. Make sure that you are articulate enough in your moves to make your partner understands and catches the right signals,’ suggests Dr. Amita.
A written letter below the pillow : The idea may seem conventional, but if your sex life is going through a rough patch, it may be a blessing in disguise. When nothing else seems to be working, the best way to converse with your partner is through written words. And not to forget, you can be over-expressive too while penning down your sexual desires.
Expert tip : “Love notes with naughty messages and your sexual fantasy written down in detail can serve the purpose. Though saying it verbally casts a different impact altogether, but if you play well with your words or try being a bit poetic in approach, it can certainly bring ultimate pleasure,” states Dr. Medha.

10 tricks to bigger orgasms

2009-11-03T00:46:00.002+05:30

While majority of couples wish to have extended massive orgasm (EMO), not everybody comes down to experiencing these repeated orgasmic waves.
Lovers experiencing one of these massive orgasms have reported enjoying more of life’s joys in general, becoming nicer and more generous in their relationship.
An EMO can last minutes or hours, offering up blissful sensations at increasing intensities, reports Fox News.
And here are the tricks of this tantalizing trade:
1. Truly recognize your pleasure
You want to immediately approve of your present sensations. This starts before you even get in the sack by overcoming anxieties you have about sex. This may require identifying limitations you’ve been taught about sex, like how you’re supposed to respond (or not respond). You need to then challenge any social conditioning that impedes upon your response.
Ridding yourself of the uninvited "others" in your bed will enable you to solely focus on the orgasmic sensations, including ones that come from simply anticipating action.
2. Learn to relax
Lovers have the tendency to tense up during sexual excitement, which is not conducive to extended orgasm. You need to be able to surrender your nervous system during genital stimulation. It’s this letting go of tension that allows you to embrace your pleasure.
3. Get in the know
The more we know about our bodies, sex, and sexual response, the better we can recognize sensations, the more we can lose ourselves in them. Become knowledgeable about sexual response, sexual anatomy, and erotic techniques.
4. Give yourselves time for pleasuring
Lovers may stimulate each other by fantasizing out loud, taking your time getting to the genitals and hot spots. Teasing allows for greater energy awareness and arousal, and these are what make the experience ultimately so mind-blowing.
5. Touch for pleasure
You can show your partner that you are into the moment by informing them about what you are going to do so he or she can surrender more easily. Highlighting a lover’s physical responses further enables them to tune into the sensations.
6. Learn to channel your energy
You want to get out of your head, directing your energy to your groin. This will make for more explosive results, plus help you to further tune into your sexual response.
7. Become an effective communicator
To amplify things up, you may need to request changes that will intensify your pleasure if you’re the receiver. As the giver, you may need to ask for feedback or direction. In either case, asking for more will help you to feel more. Giving approval can do wonders for a lover’s ego.
8. Develop your pelvic floor muscles
Exercising your pubbococcygeus (PC) muscle will put you more in tune with your sexual response. It’s also what makes for more powerful orgasms.
9. Have plenty of lubricant handy
As you will be loving for the long-haul, make sure you avoid the friction, pain, and discomfort that can result from working each other raw by using lube.
10. Do away with any drive-thru mentality
Having an EMO isn’t like going for fast food. One can’t go into it thinking instant gratification. Instead, approach it as though training for a sport.

5 types of men women hate

2009-11-03T00:44:00.002+05:30

There might be ample qualities that make men irresistible. But women being the fairer sex have created certain stereotypes in men that they would never want to be seen with.
We list the most common kinds of men that women love to hate...
Thumbs down to dominant men : Gone are the days when a male dominated society used to be the way of life. So, if the next time you try to show your superiority in front of your girl, it might land you in a tight spot. Women prefer mates who're recognized by their peers for their skills, abilities, and achievements – and not those who use coercive tactics to subordinate their rivals, reveals a new study.
Expert says : Dr. Chirta Bakshi, a relationship counsellor says, “Dominant behaviour is highly opposed by a female partner as she wants to enjoy the bond with equal respect. In any relationship, if one partner tries to have the upper hand in taking all decisions and if they portray their dominant self, it will not do any good to that relationship.”
Macho guys aren’t always lucky : A macho guy with an angry young man personality might look good on silver screen, but when it comes to real life, women aren’t game to hang around with macho dudes. A recent study claims that macho guys don't always get the girls. The study further revealed that the most aggressive guys ended up with fewer wives and children.
Expert says : Personality development expert Varun Chhabra says, “Women today are more keen to pick a guy who flaunts a good body combined with a metro sexual image rather than the typical rough and tough hunk. Men who look tough from the outside and bear a soft heart within are women’s favourite.”
Keep sex starved men at bay : Men are usually sexually more charged up. But when it comes to choosing a mate, women don't opt for a sexually ravenous partner. This is maybe because for such men, sex is the top priority in the relationship whereas the woman continuously seeks love and romance, sans physical intimacy.
Expert says : Relationship and sex counsellor Dr. Geetu Bhardwaj shares, “It’s not that women are not keen to have sex with their partner, but a man’s sexual inclination does plan an important role when it comes to choosing their partner. Women generally aren’t too comfortable with the idea of being with a man who has sex on his mind throughout the day. In such relationships, things like understanding and love are secondary and sexual intimacy is all that matters for the male partner.”
Chauvinism is out completely : Remember Bobby Deol’s chauvinistic character in Dostana, which was enough to drive his lady nuts. An excess of anything is bad. Women don’t find a chauvinistic man a great companion to spend the rest of their lives with.
Expert says : Dr. Ratan Kumar, a clinical psychologist asserts, “There is a very thin line of demarcation between being a gentleman and chauvinist. A girl might love your care and concern, but your over chauvinistic attitude may irritate her at times. Make an attempt to give enough space to her and let the comfort zone be there as per mutual convenience.”
Using slangs won’t take you anywhere : Using abusive lingo every time you indulge in a conversation might lend you a cool dude look cool in front of your male peers, but girls don’t want to hang around with a abusive man. Being too abusive and stressing on using slangs too often is a ‘turn off’ for today’s women.
Expert says : Psychiatrist Dr. Anupam Randhawa states, “Men need to realise that a woman would like to be associated with a respectful and well-behaved mate. So using excess of slang language and abusive words during conversations can backfire. The reason why women keep such partners at bay is because they find it offensive when their man gets abusive as it comes as a gesture of disrespect to the relationship.”

How to de-stress your sex-life

2009-11-03T00:42:00.000+05:30

Do you feel that stress is squeezing the fun out of your bedroom life?
If yes, then you can bring back the action, courtesy tips provided by sex educator and relationship expert Dr. Yvonne Kristin Fulbright. According to the expert, many couples become frustrated, even panicky, when their sex lives go to the wayside during stressful times. When it comes to the factor that governs a person's sex life, it's personality, reports Fox News.
Fulbright says that how an individual's sex life fares depends on whether he tries to get closer to his partner in tragic times or wants to be totally alone and if he's the withdrawing sorts, then it can create misunderstandings in the relationship.
In order to avoid any such misunderstandings and still keep sex life full of fun and passion, Fulbright has suggested that couples need to establish a common ground and mutual understanding during stressful times.
Also, they should make an effort to stay connected during life's highs and lows, because if they don't, it could lead to dire consequences. And in case, sex is not on mind and also the time to be spent in the sack is less, then a person can try the following:
1. Showing appreciation for one another. Giving compliments, for example, is a simple way of expressing affection and letting your partner know that he or she is still being noticed and loved.
2. Talking daily. Chat during dinner or at bedtime. Conversations foster bonding by providing support. It's also important for couples to check in with each other, showing concern and care for one another's well-being with simple statements like, "Tell me about your day."
3. Staying positive . Bite your tongue if you're about to complain. Stressful situations are hard enough to deal with. Don't add to it if you can avoid doing so.
4. Believing in your future together. Stressful times can make lovers doubt their ability to stay together for the long haul. Insecurity issues that arise can only make matters more difficult. Making plans is one way to indicate that you're feeling secure about your future.
5. Helping each other with responsibilities . Approaching tasks with a team effort provides a greater sense of being in ‘this’ together.
6. Balancing ‘alone time’ and ‘together time.’ Create a sensual atmosphere, for example, soothing scents, dim lights, delicious food, and relaxing music to help you unwind.
7. Getting creative in how you'll be intimate . Redefine your definition of sexual intimacy when needed; try a simple body massage.
Not to forget, lovers should make it a point to give in to one another's requests for intimacy whenever possible, as it might just prove to be a big stress-buster. In fact, sex has many physical and emotional benefits, which may help in boosting your desire for more sex and emotional intimacy. Sex can easily take your mind off of your worries.
Also, patience is the key to get your sex life back on track. One should make sure that your relationship, in general, doesn't get neglected.

Signs of a perfect sex partner

2009-11-03T00:40:00.000+05:30

"Do I have a perfect sex partner?" If not, how can I get one? Indeed a million dollar question that hovers in the minds of most couples!
Though it might be hard to find an absolute sexually compatible partner, but most couples don't even know the traits that they or their better half should posses to be a perfect sex partner.
Having an outstanding sex partner takes a huge burden off an individual's mind. It allows them concentrate more on the act, instead of thinking too much about whether they're making love to the right person or not. When it comes to a perfect sex partner, attributes like height, weight, age, behaviour, choices etc take a backseat. What matters is that he/she suits you and shares an amazing chemistry in the bedroom.
Dr. Kirti Mishra, a clinical physiologist and a relationship expert elucidates, "The idea of a perfect sex partner varies for different individuals, but some common traits like sexually active, experimental in bed, hygienically sound etc are a must, as they are the key for finding sexual bliss. Most couples today are working on their personal attributes to match their partner's prerequisites and thus become a perfect sex partner."
Apart from good looks, a hot body and a heady sex drive, let's explore the less superficial elements of what makes a perfect sex partner. And if your partner bears these qualities in bed, you can unquestionably boast of having a great sex partner...
1. Hygiene holds the key
Everyone likes making love to a clean and tidy partner, so good hygiene holds great importance in a sexual relationship. Ensure that your partner is well manicured with a fully waxed body to ensure a higher comfort level. Too much hair on body makes it uncomfortable to enjoy each inch of your lover. So look out for a soft and clean skin in your partner complemented with a nice smell, as a bad body odour is a huge turn-off.
Hot tip : "During sexual intimacy, everyone wants a hygienically fit partner, as this not only enhances the comfort level, but lets you enjoy the act more. So make sure you seem as fresh as if you have just stepped out of the shower before getting into bed. Sexual scents and aphrodisiacal fragrances are a good choice," recommends Dr. Devesh Roy, a sex therapist.
2. Oral sex shouldn't be an issue
You know what pleases you, so a wonderful partner to have in bed is one who doesn't hesitate going out of the way to give you that pleasure. If not routinely, your partner should be ready to please you orally as per their own mood and comfort level. While no one is perfectly adept at the oral act, but a partner who tries learning the little tricks to arouse you can surely add magic to your love life.
Hot tip : "Don't wait for your partner to tell you or give hints each time they feel like experiencing oral pleasure, instead make it a part of the love making act. It is quite safe and enjoyable as the actual act, so don't be unwilling to go for it," states Dr. Deepak Gupta, a sex expert.
3. Be an adventure lover
Intimacy and passion gets killed if you have a boring partner, who is having sex for the sake of it. Ensure that he/she makes every effort to heighten the sensation by exploring their adventurous side. Having a partner who is open to trying new sexual pleasures is a definite bonus. Right from participating in dirty talks, taking chocolate baths with you, trying out new positions to indulging in naughty love games, he/she should be keen to try sex escapades that make them a perfect bedroom partner.
Hot tip : "Like a weekend getaway gives you a much needed break, sex also can become monotonous after a sluggish period. To liven it up, you need to think out-of-the-box and try all kinds of sexual adventures that ensure a gratifying experience," shares Dr. Kirti.
4. A sexy shape can do wonders
Though weighty issues shouldn't come in way of your sexual pleasure, yet it's natural to look for a partner sans love handles or a bulging belly as an overweight partner can mar your sexual life. Being in top shape gives your body greater flexibility and accentuates your bedroom performance. If seeing your partner semi-naked makes you feel irresistible and you can't think of anything except sex, what else you can ask for!
Hot tip : "Good body shape is always welcomed and what adds to your sex appeal is an appropriate dressing sense with which you can underline your positive features and gear up for a hot bedroom romp. To be a perfect partner in bed, try shedding the accumulated fat on your belly or butt area to boost your performance," suggests Dr. Roy.
5. Propose newer things
It's excellent to take charge in bed sans any inhibitions. But what makes sex even more special is to bring new-fangled sex ideas and implement them. A vivid imagination and voracious desires can contribute to healthy sexuality. With an avid sex lover who is willing to try arousing positions in bed, use sex toys, suggest new ways to climax, explore alternate seduction techniques and foreplay acts, the sex romp can be one of its kind.
Hot tip : "Being innovative is good, but it is of no use if you confine this sexual knowledge just to yourself. Hence, be more forthcoming in your approach and propose new ways to improve your bedroom pleasure and perform actively," advices Dr. Kirti.
6. Fantasy sharing does magic
Communication holds the key to sexual pleasure, so a partner who is keen to discuss their wildest dreams and desires in bed can make sex a heavenly act. No partner can be tagged as sexually perfect until they are open about discussing their innate sexual preferences, as these tell the partner how they can perform. Look out for a partner who is not only open about their fantasies, but also invites you to share yours with a reassurance to fulfill them with ease.
Hot tip : "If you cannot be outspoken about your sexual fantasies, you may resort to measures like penning them down or recording them on a tape. But ensure that it reaches your partner at the right time before you slip between the sheets," says Dr. Gupta.

Top 11 sex myths busted

2009-10-31T03:33:00.000+05:30

Whether we appreciate them or not, we still like to know about sex myths and facts and if they are true or false.
There are as many sex myths and facts as there are couples! You may have heard someone say ‘oh they broke up as their sex life was poor’, or someone else’s package size is smaller so their married life didn’t succeed. Here are some facts which we sometimes like to ignore.
1. You can't get pregnant during your period - false!
There's a chance that you can get pregnant during a period, particularly towards the end of your menstrual cycle. Unprotected sex also increases the risk infection by sexually transmitted infections (STIs).
2. You can't get pregnant during unprotected sex if the man pulls out before he ejaculates - false!
Even though your boyfriend doesn't ejaculate, sperm can still be present in his pre-cum (the clear, sticky drops that are released when he's aroused). It only takes one sperm to get you pregnant, and the fluid can also contain sexually transmitted infections. Some men aren't aware that they are ejaculating until it's too late, and it's easy to get carried away in the heat of the moment.
3. You can't get pregnant while having sex standing up, or in the shower or bath - false!
If you have unprotected sex you can get pregnant, no matter how or where you do it.
4. You can't get pregnant while on the pill - false!
The chances of getting pregnant while taking the contraceptive pill are virtually nil, provided you are following the instructions correctly and consistently. But if you miss pills, are on antibiotics, or have sickness and diarrhoea, you need to use condoms for the next seven days.
5. It's safe to have sex as soon as you're on the pill - false!
Different types of contraceptive pills take different times to kick in. This can range from 0-14 days. Always follow the instructions prescribed with your type of pill, and use an additional form of contraception such as condoms during the time it takes for your choice of pill become effective.
6. Peeing after sex washes out sperm and prevents pregnancy - false!
For a start, urine exits the bladder through the urethra, which lies above of the vaginal opening. Which means any sperm in the vagina won't even get wet when you pee.
7. Men want sex more than women do - false.
Women want sex too - but they are guided by other emotions as well. For instance, house work, kids and holding onto a job are good enough reasons to go off sex completely. So we're exhausted! Plus, hormones make us feel like having a lot of sex during certain times of the month, rather than all of the time. And, because we tend to attach more emotions to sex than men do, we aren't going to beg him for action if he's been giving us attitude.
8. Happy couples have good sex most of the time - false.
Show me a couple that's having out-of-control, raging sex every night after years of sharing the same bed, and I'll show you a pig that can fly. Life and all its pressures get in the way for all of us. Does it mean your friend is lying if she claims to have fabulous sex after five years of marriage and two kids? Maybe. Or maybe she thinks you have a great sex life and doesn't want to admit she doesn't. Or maybe her definition of great sex is different than yours. Or maybe she really does have terrific sex... once a month. It's all subjective.
9. Men are more promiscuous than women - true.
The real truth is, this one is probably true, but by much less than you think. When polled about their sex lives, men overestimate while women underestimate, due to societal pressures. It's also totally dependent on how attractive the people in question are. An attractive, sexually liberated woman is likely to have had more partners than a not-so-fab-looking guy around the same age, for instance. It's called opportunity.
10. Women don't like porn or dirty sex - false.
Women love porn. It gives them new ideas and tricks to try out to make their partners happy. Plus, a lot of them are exchanged on emails or discussed between giggles next to water coolers in the office. Anyone who thinks men are the only ones mentally undressing that sexy passenger on the metro is deluded.
11. Men always want sex - false .
You need to give more credit to your partner than that! But if he is below 18 and has landed his first girlfriend, then perhaps it is true. However, as men get older responsibilities, daily pressures, work, bills etc. come in the way and he cannot think of sex all the time. But one look, and he is ready to jump into bed - that’s also true!

Does sexual pleasure depend upon organ-size?

2009-10-31T03:29:00.002+05:30

Question: I am a 19-year-old boy studying in a professional college. Despite being good in studies, I suffer from an inferiority
complex about the size of my penis. My friends have often told me that the size of the penis is directly proportional to the amount of sexual pleasure given or obtained. They boast about their size and how it is a reflection of their masculinity. Is this correct? Can something be done to increase the size of one's genitalia?

Answer: The older we grow, the greater becomes our wonder at how much ignorance one can contain without bursting one's clothes. One never knew an ignorant person yet but was prejudiced, said good ol' Twain. Men who feel that the size of their organ is inadequate, rejoice!! Here is news to take away your blues. Now you need not be afraid of going to a public urinal wary of prying glances. Now, you need not fantasise about the size of any Schwarznegger or Superman.
The smaller organ has a much greater erectile capacity than the larger one. The size of the flaccid or erect penis has absolutely nothing to do with its pleasure-giving qualities. The vagina has a great deal of elasticity and it can adapt to any size of the male organ, be it large or small. And finally, if you think a man is a man cause he guzzles beer or was born with a larger-than-thine appendage, think again. Can't you see, Sir, the sands of time are dribbling through the hourglass?!

Top 10 excuses to avoid sex

2009-10-31T03:27:00.001+05:30

We all have heard one too many and by now have our own list of excuses when we are just not in the mood for a romp.
Recently a survey revealed that ‘I’m too tired’ is giving the humble ‘headache’ a run for its money. Here are the top ten excuses that people use to avoid a steamy session...
1. Too tired
2. I'm not in the mood
3. I've got a headache
4. I've got to get up in the morning
5. I'm pre-occupied with work
6. I'm angry with you
7. I can hear one of the children
8. You need a shower
9. I've got a bad back
10. Too soon in our relationship.
However, across foreign shores, primarily in Britain, one in five couples are making an excuse to get between the sheets for some heavyduty action!
A spokesman for www.OnePoll.com , which carried out the study, said: ''The headache has had its day as far as excuses are concerned. Tiredness plays a much bigger part in our reasons not to climb between the sheets these days and enjoy some quality time together. And it’s hardly surprising when we are all working longer hours than ever before and have so many things to worry about.
Fears over whether will be able to pay our mortgages or even whether we will have a job in a month's time are bound to affect our bedroom performance. It was intriguing to see just how the recession has affected our passion levels too.''
The report also found men are more likely to make excuses than women with 27 per cent admitting they often avoided sex compared to 18 per cent of women.

How to Have Sex Standing up

2009-10-31T03:24:00.000+05:30

There are many different positions that can be achieved when one or both partners is standing during sex. These positions range from the bizarre to the more common. The trick is to finding the position that gives both you and your partner the maximum amount of pleasure.

   1.
      Step 1

      Enter your partner from behind while she is bent over in front of you. This is the simplest position and very similiar to "doggy-style." It allows for deep penetration and can be accomplished by even the most novice of individuals.
   2.
      Step 2

      Stand face to face while the man bends his knees slightly to be in the right position to enter the woman. The man then straightens his legs and inserts his penis into her vagina. This is the most common position for having sex while standing.
   3.
      Step 3

      Wrap your legs around the man's hips while leaning against a wall. This position allows for more contact of the man's body against the woman's clitoris, giving her greater pleasure. It also allows for support for the man to make better, more defined thrusts.
   4.
      Step 4

      Lay the woman on a flat surface that places her about an inch below the mans penis. The man stands in front of the woman and lifts her hips until her vagina is lined up with his penis. The woman places her legs either on the man's shoulders or on his waist to help support her weight. The man then inserts his penis. This is known as the butterfly position. The man can't penetrate very deeply but the angle of the penetration makes it perfect for G-spot stimulation. This position is the most difficult of those listed.

How to Boost Health With Tantric Sex

2009-10-31T03:21:00.000+05:30

Tantric sex, derived from the Eastern religions such as Buddhism and Hinduism, teaches that sex isn't dependent entirely on achieving orgasm but instead is a never-ending series of spiritual and sexual manifestations. For example, dressing sexy isn't reserved for Saturday night; it's an ongoing feature of a relationship, even when you're grocery shopping. Tantric sex can give you better health--just look at the following facts.
Step
1
Increase the number of orgasms to boost brain waves. The multiple orgasms women achieve through tantric sex can alleviate or reduce headaches (including migraines), lessen menstrual cramps and urinary tract infections and get rid of stress and depression.
Step
2
Eliminate the need for erectile dysfunction drugs. By practicing tantric sex, men can increase their sexual choices and learn a variety of positions and ways to stimulate themselves and their partners and achieve orgasm. They no longer need to consider prescription drugs as the only way to improve a low libido.
Step
3
Use "chakras," or the body's energy centers, to increase physical health. Tantric sex "unblocks" energy in the body by allowing couples to use their entire bodies, not just sexual organs, as conduits for sexual and spiritual pleasure. By not focusing on orgasms and merely letting energy flow, partners feel more pleasure and end up having more orgasms.
Step
4
Realize that orgasms can occur throughout the body. Although the sensations will be pleasurable, they might not be exactly the same as normal orgasms centered in the sexual organs. Nevertheless, tantric orgasms relieve stress, increase blood flow and give the practitioner an overall feeling of health.
Step
5
Know that tantric sex aids secretion in the pituitary gland. These secretions guide the endocrine system, which oversees the thyroid and sex organs and regulates immune system function. By aiding the endocrine system, tantric sex normalizes blood pressure and water (lymphatic) flow in the body.

Tantric Sex for Beginners: 4 Easy Tips!

2009-10-29T16:27:00.001+05:30

Abhijith Mohapatra

My friend Sean recently wowed me by casually mentioning that he had just attended a three-day tantric sex workshop where the end goal was, well, for no end goal. “The point,” he said, “is to channel all the sexual energy that would normally leave during an orgasm, back into your body. It gives you so much energy!”
Sure enough, achieving the big “O” is not Tantra’s main objective. Instead, you attempt to prolong the act, increasing potent sexual energy and intimacy with your partner. If you focus soley on the grand finale, you’ll miss the amazing range of feeling the rest of the show offers. “Sexual energy is one of our most powerful energies for creating health,” says Christiane Northrup, M.D., author of Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom. “Through the intimate connection with another, our stress hormones lower and our serotonin shoots through the roof.”
Hmmm, I’ve certainly heard of Tantra but besides the Bible-length Kama Sutra, wacky-sounding positions like “lotus” and “jumping spider” and tales of Sting engaging in 36-hour lovemaking sessions, I didn’t know much, let alone that the intimacy is great for our health. “Even without an exhaustive education,” says Wendy Strgar, Care2 columnist and CEO of Good, Clean Love, “the principles behind tantric practice can go a long way in deepening the connection you share with your partner.”
Here are four beginner’s techniques you can try out.

Design an “intimacy space”

This should be a comfortable area that is playful and relaxed. First, clear the room of any attention-grabbing clutter. Next, decorate with flowers, candles and cozy fabrics. Scent is really important to our sensuality, so try natural oils like jasmine, ylang-ylang, or rose. Make sure your bed is as comfortable as possible with soft sheets and a number of pillows. Lastly, chose a soundtrack of music that you both like. Play it softly in the background to enhance your mood.

Breathe Each Other’s Breath

Harmonizing your breath is one of the easiest ways to sync with your partner. Straddle your partner’s lap (called the yab-yom position) and inhale while they exhale and vice versa. As your partner breathes out, you’ll find yourself taking their breath into and down through your entire body. As you exhale, consciously attempt to energize the breath. In this way, you’re sharing all of yourself with your partner. “Becoming conscious about your breath is central to all yogic practices and is foundational in Tantra,” says Strgar.

Keep Your Eyes Open

“The idea of making love with your eyes open is one of the fundamentals of deep connection in intimacy,” says Strgar. “It is surprisingly harder to do than you might expect. Move toward this idea as an intention rather than a rule and be amazed as the collection of glimpses that will reshape how you think about your partner and yourself. It is not easy to be seen, even by the people we love. Truly witnessing the act of love is profoundly transformative.”

Take it Slow

Sorry guys, foreplay is essential in Tantra. A lesiurely, slow build helps men control longevity and piques women’s arousal. The longer you linger in this process of building energy, the longer your session will last and the more energy you will build. Use this time to fully focus on each other. As in meditation, when your thoughts wander, gently guide your attention back to your partner and the magic of the moment at hand.

How to Seduce Your Husband Through a Role Play

2009-10-29T16:12:00.000+05:30

You love your husband to pieces but that old familiar routine has kicked in and zapped you of the passion you once shared so effortlessly. You can rekindle it in usual and unusual ways if you feel adventurous. If you have lost that loving feeling and been entertaining the idea of an affair with a hot young lover, stop right there. You can short-circuit your desire to cheat by re-planting all of that passion right back into the one that you love.
Step
1
Role-play an affair with your husband. You can even give each other fake names and he can become your illicit lover while you become his "mistress" for a while.
Step
2
Engage in all the things that you would if you were having a secret affair. Have secretive phone calls, call him unexpectedly at work, arrange to meet him in an out of the way bar, rent a hotel room for the night.
Step
3
Create a forbidden atmosphere by really role-playing and saying things like "My husband would kill me if he finds out" and things that make it appear more real. The forbidden aspect alone will be a huge turn-on.
Step
4
Focus on your husband with a new and fresh pair of eyes, seeing his smile, his humor and his good-looks as if for the first time. Slow down and enjoy the ride.

Sex on her mind

2009-10-29T16:03:00.000+05:30

Champagne, candlelight, a man at the door who craves commitment. Does it sound like every woman’s ultimate
fantasy?
For ages the world has been trying hard to figure out what’s going on in a woman's head? What does a woman want: the quintessential question? The answer: champagne, candlelight, a man at the door...most of the times. The stuff most women fantasize about.
It’s not hard to understand actually...women do fantasize. A woman's fantasies are certainly not limited. All have their own peccadilloes. If your body hasn't been called "perky" since Gymboree, in fantasy you can give yourself permission to swing naked from a crystal chandelier. Here's another favourite: a rustic cabin in the woods, pink Champagne and Benicio Del Toro. The reality: a cramped studio in the city, Diet Snapple and a guy who hogs the remote. Don't get me wrong; I've got nothing against the keeper of my remote. It’s just my fantasy and reality never find common ground. But we still continue to fantasize. And yes, if it involves sex, it’s all the better.
Nothing beats a good sex fantasy. Even researchers agree. Linda Wolfe a famous author studied a sample of 15,000 women aged 18-34 years, and less than three percent said they never fantasize. It was seen that females are more likely to prefer erotica with a "softer," more imaginative side than the "harder," more explicit forms preferred by males.
Dr. Nimish Seth, psychologist says: “There’s no such thing as an inappropriate fantasy. A lesbian fantasy is not proof that you're gay; a dominatrix fantasy doesn't mean you ought to run right out and invest in a pair of leather pants. Whether you choose to explore your fantasies—however mild or wild they may be—is up to you. But by all means don't hesitate to let your imagination jump-start your body into a sexier sex life. Sometimes a girl needs a jolt of adventure—if only in her daydreams”.
Almost all sexual fantasies fall into one of the three general
categories:
Sex with previous, imaginary, or celebrity partners
Sexual fantasies about submission and/or dominance
Unconventional sexual practices or settings
Nihal Seth, a young entrepreneur points out that “now sex fantasy is the safest, healthiest way to have more fun in bed.” The occasional fantasy is to sexual pleasure what green chutney is to chicken tikka: that little something extra that elevates the delicious to the sublime!
The world is not perfect. We all know that. It’s not always possible for us to get what we want. This is where fantasies help. Pooja Bedi, Bollywood actress, says that “every woman wants her man to be James Bond who holds the image of tall dark handsome and also has a kid within him. Women still fantasize with fairy tales”.
Aarti (name changed), 24, a marketing manager admits, "I fantasize my husband tying me to the bed and spanking me, abusing me and playing hard on me. It makes me feel like a wild cat waiting to be controlled."
Think of your sexual fantasies as a reflection of who you are. Fantasies may supplant reality for some. Pragya goes as far as to describe, "I often imagine myself stuck with a stranger in a dingy room during a calamity. Finally we end up making wild love amidst all the rush and hurry. It excites me to the core."
Devyani Pandit, a PR professional, says: “Doing it in bed gets boring after some time and we can explore new avenues. Our upbringing also at times acts as mental blocks as we struggle with feeling okay about our desires”. The good news is that everyone can have sexual fantasies; it’s just that some of us need a little more inspiration than others.
So the next time your woman seems to be wandering off in thought, you’ll know exactly what’s on her mind!
Women’s

Seduce your girl with humour

2009-10-29T15:57:00.000+05:30

When it comes to seducing a woman, nothing, as it turns out, works better than a man with a self-depreciating sense of humour.
What's more is that this finding is based on a two-year scientific research which found that men who can poke fun at themselves are most the ones that are sexual magnets for women.
As a part of the study lead author Gil Greengross, of the University of New Mexico in the US and her colleagues asked female students to listen to tape recordings of men talking about themselves.
The women were then asked to score the men on sexual attractiveness.
Greengross revealed that when it comes to the type of humour that works best at getting a woman into bed, the self-deprecating kind comes in at the top of the pack.
"Many studies show that a sense of humour is sexually attractive to women but we've found that self-deprecating humour is the most attractive of all," the Telegraph quoted Greengross, as saying.
"People who used this humour were considered to be far more desirable as mates."
He added a note of caution however, saying that it can also draw attention to a man's real faults, thus turning women off.
"It is a risky form of humour because it can draw attention to one's real faults, thereby diminishing the self-deprecator's status in the eyes of others," he said.
"Think about the secondary school child whom nobody liked, who makes fun of his shortcomings.
"His peers mocked him and he was considered more pathetic than he was previously. This is high-risk seduction. It is not for everyone."
The study, 'Dissing Oneself: The Sexual Attractiveness of Self-Deprecating Humour,' will be published in Journal of Evolutionary Psychology.

Men's sex o'clock revealed!

2009-10-29T15:15:00.000+05:30

Feeling romantic? Well, then gear up for some kinky action – but wait till 10.16pm tonight, for that’s the time when half of UK’s population gets turned on with their lovers.

After asking 5,000 adults, cynical researchers have claimed that the romantic schedule means men can catch up with their football highlights on Match Of The Day at 10.30pm.

The second most popular time for sex is 9pm on Friday, followed by 9.30am on Sunday, a report said.

A spokesman for pollsters www.OnePoll.com said: “One might conclude from this survey that romance is dead.

“It certainly seems that sex has become a matter of convenience for many people.

“When couples get past the honeymoon stage in their relationship they seem to settle down a bit, and sex isn’t as important any more.”

The survey shows a quarter of couples go longer than two months between romps.

Woman's emotional guide for sex

2009-10-28T13:46:00.001+05:30

It’s rightly said that you perform well in bed when you have the desire to score brownie points.
Everyone likes to enjoy lovemaking with a fully charged up mind and at the same time they want an equally aroused partner in bed to ensure gratifying sex. It's the emotion, mood and the present state of mind that adds to the sexual ecstasy.
A recent study revealed that women with a high emotional intelligence have better sex lives and they experienced more orgasms than those with low EI who suffered orgasmic disorder. “The findings show that emotional intelligence is an added advantage in many aspects of your life, including the bedroom. This study enormously helps in the development of behavioural and cognitive therapies to improve women's sexual lives," said Professor Tim Spector, director of the Twin Research Department at King's College London.
Relationship counselor Gitanjali Sharma explains, “Emotional intelligence is basically the ability to understand your emotions and those of people around you. It’s about reading emotions, balancing and regulating them. If you are emotionally satisfied, you are in a happier mood which applies to your bedroom too. It’s important to realise that sex starts in one's mind before it reaches the body. Before having sex physically, you actually get physical mentally and that is possible only with an emotionally sound mind.”
Dr. Kamal Khurana, a marriage and relationship counselor agrees, “Women give sex to get love, so they want a lot of reassurance and companionship from their male partner. They have a sex drive, but eventually it’s more about emotional warmth, which turns into an expression of love and sex. When women receive more of emotional support in dealing with their mood swings, they are happier and consequently perform well in bed.”
Elucidating the fact that women can spice up their sex lives with a dash of emotions, we get experts to share some emotions that can do wonders in your sexual paradise when dealt with in a desired way...
Angry : Anger has to do with fear and it is a very healthy emotion. Anger problems can make hungry-for-sex women become so adamant on controlling their anger that they stop feeling sexy. It's often an alarm clock for their male partner where men are expected to understand that there's something making the woman angry. Anger leads to rejection of the male in an intimate act. The emotion of anger clearly shows that there is a problem deep down due to which the female partner may not be responding in the desired manner.
Spice up the emotion : Dr. Kamal Khurana, a marriage therapist suggests, “Of course you should not talk at that particular time, but men should try and find out the right time to reach out to their lady love. Try talking about what is bothering your lady in a nice manner, which is not hurtful or provoking. As soon as you trace the reason behind her anger, try bringing in a dash of surprise humour to lighten up her mood. Express your love through a meaningful gesture by saying ‘I love you’ via a card, keeping romantic notes below her pillow, cracking a sexual joke or sending her favourite flowers.”
Overjoyed : When a woman is going through this emotion, she would evidently want to go on talking about her elated state of mind. Having such a good mood, she would undoubtedly perform well in bed, but her mind is likely to be diverted.
Spice up the emotion : Gitanjali Sharma, a relationship counselor states, “It’s entirely up to the male partner as to how he handles his woman in bed on that particular night. It’s important for him to listen to her and support her and be a part of her celebration. Understand that she is at her joyful peak, so it will be wrong to expect her to be on the peak of sex too. Be patient and make the most of this emotion by going with the flow. Connect with her and laugh out loud on whatever she says and then as the passion builds on, you can proceed for an intimate session.”
Anxious : Anxious people do not often experience a satisfying orgasm. Anxiety exists when a woman is afraid of something that might happen in the future or something which she has experienced during a particular day. When she goes to bed with these anxieties running through her mind, she is not mentally prepared to enjoy sex. If this emotion is not dealt with properly, possibilities are there that sex would be avoided often and there will be more of excuses in your relationship.
Spice up the emotion : “Ensuring that your woman doesn’t get carried away with this emotion, the male partner has to be supportive here. When in such a mood, sex should not be treated as a tick-marked routine thing which has to be done mundanely. The act should be aimed at comforting each other and the secondary stage should involve body contact. Lot of discussions would help bringing you partner closer to you and as you touch upon the different domains of her life, sex will naturally flow,” suggests Dr. Khurana.
Isolated : This emotion can bring drastic results in a woman’s sex life. Due to a feeling of isolation, she may suffer from depression and have a low confidence level. With feelings of being disowned, she would not want to attach herself with anyone, thus bearing a clear unwillingness towards sex. On the other hand, seeking physical and emotional support, she may become too vulnerable thereby indulging in sex just to come out of this isolation.
Spice up the emotion : “In such circumstances, men must communicate with their female partners to try and help her regain high emotional intelligence. Loving gestures from your end will reassure her and make her come close to you. Once you have given her the recognition and made her feel important in some way, she would be all into you and will be charged up for a sexual session too,” says Gitanjali.
Silence : There must be certain inhibitions that induce a woman to remain silent for a prolonged time span. When a woman is unable to express her mind freely, or she is undergoing emotional pain, her self-esteem is low. During lovemaking moments when your lady love is in such a mood, she will behave as if sex is a forced pressure on her.
Spice up the emotion : “The basic idea while dealing with this emotion is to make her open up and speak out her mind. Chances are high that she might have certain sexual preferences, which she is finding tough to communicate. So make her feel at ease, indulge in a healthy conversation over a coffee, empower her to be expressive and say whatever she wants to without any apprehensions. Once her thoughts are conveyed in a proper manner, she will look forward to lovemaking, sans any uneasiness,” feels Dr. Khurana.
Negative attitude : A pessimistic emotion makes a woman see everything wrong around her. Indulging in negative self-talk, there is nothing that seems to bring joy to her. Even if her male partner approaches her for sex, she is likely not to respond in a desired way.
Spice up the emotion : “The male partner needs to instill a positive feeling to help the woman come out of her negativity. It’s advisable to highlight positive things and good attributes about her and pamper her so as to create a feel good feeling. It’s only after creating this good mood around a lady that her libido can be nurtured too,” shares Gitanjali.
Source:timesofindia.com

My wife wants sex all the time! Help

2009-10-28T13:41:00.000+05:30

Question: I am a 42-year-old man, well educated and city bred. I have been married for two years. My wife is 21-years-old from a small town and not well educated. As this was an arranged marriage between old family friends, I didn’t mind. My wife wants sex all the time, and at least 3-4 times daily, apart from the night. At times I have woken up from sleep to find her on top of me. She is not interested in working, either outside or inside the house. I have been managing the servants too. All day she is busy chatting with the neighbours and once when I overheard her, it was again all about sex. Is this normal behaviour? It is definitely not what I had expected. So much of over-indulgence only in sex may be okay now, but what will happen 5-10 years down the line if she has no other interests?

Answer: I don’t think anyone has ever been able to quantify what a ‘normal’ sex drive is or what should be considered the normal frequency of lovemaking. So, probably anything goes, as long as it does not interfere with the rest of your life. In your particular case, the huge age gap is responsible to a large extent for the difference in perceptions regarding sex. And if you are managing to keep up the pace with your young wife, why then, you must surely be congratulated.

Even though there is a part of you that is rationalising the entire thing. Obviously, the flesh is willing even though the spirit is not! Meanwhile, instead of condemning this attitude and behaviour of hers, it would be better to let her discover all the joys and pleasures of physical gratification. And like all other good things in life, this too just might be unable to sustain itself. Thereby putting to rest your fears and apprehensions regarding the future. As for finding her on top of you, I am sure that is a welcome deviation from the routine and often-drab missionary variety! No?

10 places women want to be touched

2009-10-28T13:37:00.000+05:30

Forget a woman's cleavage, there are more erogenous spots that you can now explore to get your lady sexcited. Read on to discover her ten most sensuous body parts waiting to be discovered.
Women are sensuous creatures and they love being kissed and caressed. What guys often mistake is that they go straight for the woman's breasts or other private parts, without concentrating on her other moan zones. So, if you want to get your gal into the mood, stimulate some of her often-neglected body parts.
Touch these places during foreplay and sex, or just give her some pleasure after a hard day and she'll surely reward you with brownie points in bed.
Tresses
All guys like women with gorgeous locks. But what you need to know is that women love being touched on their head. It's quite a stress reliever. Running your hands sensuously through her tresses is likely to send shivers down her spine. Massage her temples to the nape of her neck and she’ll be game to your desires.
Nape of her neck
In ancient Japan, the back of a woman’s neck was considered extremely attractive by men as it was one of the few zones that were not covered by the elaborate kimono. Today, very few men focus on the nape of the neck, but we suggest you build up the pleasure by gentle touching and kissing your lady love from her hairline down to her shoulders. It will make her reach dizzying heights of pleasure.
Collar bone
A well-defined collarbone is what men find irresistible. So, why not touch and kiss her there. Unbutton her shirt just a little and stimulate her collarbone with your touch. Create circles with your tongue and give her love bites right there, just to remind her of how much you want her.
Small of her back
Most women love it when their guy places his protective hand against the small of her back as it shows that he feels very strongly about her. So, why not incorporate this gesture into your foreplay routine, by kissing or licking down her spine to end up with a kiss on the small of her back. It will definitely get her into the mood for more!
Behind her knees
This area is a power house of sensitive nerve endings. You can gently caress the back of her knee under her skirt while the two of you are in an open public space as it is sure to get her excited by the time you reach home.
Palms of her hands
We use our hands to please our partners, but have you ever thought that you could arouse a woman by stimulating the palm of her hand? Run your finger along her palm as that will make her feel relaxed and ready for a sexy rendezvous ahead.
Her earlobes
This is one of the most erogenous moan centers of a woman's body. Touching, kissing and even gently biting her earlobes will send her into a sexual tizzy. If you are getting extra adventurous, simply nibble around the outside of the rest of her ear as well, but don't put your tongue inside her ear. That's a major turn off!
Happy feet
There's nothing more sinfully seductive than a foot massage. It will help her relax, especially if her job requires her to be on them all day. Get yourself some aromatic massage oil or lotion. Pay extra attention to the pressure points such as her toes, ankles and the sides of her feet too. Some women love enjoy having their toes sucked, but others find it repulsive, so ask your babe what she would have you do before putting them in your mouth.
Soft thighs
Touching a woman's inner thighs without touching her private parts is the most sensual tease that is sure to get her all charged up. Employ your hands and mouth to caress and kiss the insides of her thighs, remember to pull back before going all the way.

Emotions good for women's sex lives

2009-10-27T22:32:00.000+05:30

Women with high emotional intelligence (EI) have better sex lives, according to a new study.
Emotional intelligence is the ability to monitor and manage emotions in oneself and others.
The study by a research team at King's College London showed that those with greater EI had more orgasms. It also suggests that low EI is a risk factor for female orgasmic disorder.
"These findings show that emotional intelligence is an advantage in many aspects of your life including the bedroom. This study will help enormously in the development of behavioural and cognitive therapies to improve women's sexual lives," the Independent quoted Professor Tim Spector, director of the Twin Research Department at King's College London and co-author of the study, as saying.
For the study, a total of 2,035 female volunteers from the TwinsUK registry were recruited, ranging in age from 18 to 83.
The registry consists of adult twins who agreed to take part in studies to investigate the causes of common disorders. Using twins makes it possible to disentangle genetic and environmental risk factors.
All participants completed questionnaires giving details of their sexual behaviour and performance and also answered questions designed to test their emotional intelligence.
Researchers found a significant association between EI and frequency of orgasm both during masturbation and sexual intercourse.
Women in the bottom 25 percent of the emotional intelligence range had twice the normal risk of infrequent orgasm.
Lead author, psychologist Andrea Burri, also from King's College, said: "Emotional intelligence seems to have a direct impact on women's sexual functioning by influencing her ability to communicate her sexual expectations and desires to her partner.
She also said that there was a possible association with a woman's ability to fantasise during sex.
"Emotional intelligence seems to have a direct impact on women's sexual functioning by influencing her ability to communicate her sexual expectations and desires to her partner," said Burri.
The results of the study appear in The Journal of Sexual Medicine.

Women's ultimate fantasy: Size not foreplay

2009-10-27T22:17:00.000+05:30

When it comes to female orgasms, it is the size of the penis, and not the duration of foreplay, that increases the likelihood of fulfilling women’s sexual fantasies, suggests a new study.
Lead researcher Stuart Brody, from the University of the West of Scotland, focused on the number of factors that contributed to the regularity of vaginal orgasms.
The researchers described a vaginal orgasm as an "orgasm produced simply from movements of the penis in [the] vagina without any additional stimulation."
Boffins found that factors like the length of the penis, the duration of intercourse, and the ability to mentally focus on vaginal sensations, minus the duration of foreplay, increased the likelihood of orgasm.
"Given that the vagina [has a high nerve density] throughout... more thorough stimulation of the full length of the vagina... might result in a more fulfilling experience," ABC Science quoted the paper's authors as saying.
But some Australian researchers and practitioners have cast a shadow of doubt over the methodology and the political motivations behind the study.
Dr. Gemma O'Brien, a reproductive physiologist from the University of New England in Armidale, said: "Self reporting needs to be done very carefully. These things come down to perceptions and that introduces a weakness in the study."
Dr. Vivienne Cass, an adjunct professor at Curtin University of Technology in Perth and author of The Elusive Orgasm, also questioned the motivations of research that accorded vaginal orgasms greater significance over clitoral ones.
Associate Professor Rosemary Coates, also of Curtin University of Technology and president of the World Association for Sexual Health, also said "some form of clitoral stimulation is almost always required to trigger orgasm."
The results appear in an upcoming issue of The Journal of Sexual Medicine.

Foreplay beyond the bed!

2009-10-27T22:13:00.000+05:30

Sex may end between the sheets, but that’s certainly not where it begins. We tell you what to do (outside the bed) for a spunkier sex life .
Scented candles and flavoured condoms -the paraphernalia is in place, and boy, you were never more ready. It begins with foreplay and before you know, it’s over - as unfulfilling as you dreaded. Setting up the supplies is only the icing. What’s needed primarily is the passion for each other, which sadly enough isn’t available on e-commerce sites. Here’s what you can do to increase the satisfaction quotient
Go shop
Relax. You needn’t necessarily buy. Head to a nearest mall and let the brands do the needful. Help your partner try out outfits that makes him/her look attractive. After all, feeling attracted and attractive is the basis for passionate intimacy.
Do the karaoke
Sing to your partner. Yes, it’s embarrassing to some, way too mushy for others and old-fashioned for most, but it works. So, head to the nearest karaoke night, and let your hearts out with romantic duets. You needn’t be a Kishore Kumar or Asha Bhonsle, but the warm numbers will reignite the passion.
Head to the kitchen
It’s tough to switch channels when a cricket match is on. Still, it is not difficult to don the chef’s hat and help her cook. Lick the chilli sauce off each other’s fingers and show off some of your mixing and whipping skills.
Click it right
Revisit those cherished moments by going through family albums and home videos. It will only remind you how special your partner’s presence is. That feeling of togetherness and emotional intimacy is what ultimately manifests in physical attraction.
Travel time
It’s time to put those leaves to good use. Check out travel brochures and plan your next holiday. Good old Mahabs can work just as well as a Paris or Barcelona. The shared experience will only bring you closer.
Comic quotient
Catch a stand-up comic show or order in that rib-tickling DVD to watch after dinner. If not that, get a book and read out those ridiculous jokes to each other. Those light-hearted moments drain out stress.
Get the right moves
Play cards or challenge each other at a board game. The rules remain the same barring one small anomaly - the winner’s wish is the loser’s command. The adrenaline levels will soar as the game approaches its finish, but the real fun will be only after the game is over.
Spend time doing ‘NOTHING’
Cuddle on a comfortable sofa with an endless supply of starters and chilled drinks. The endless chats about anything and everything will help you appreciate each others company. When both partners feel valued and loved, the connect is deeper, more meaningful, and it is only out of such close moments that true physical intimacy develops.
Source:timesofindia.indiatimes

Curvy women are better in bed!

2009-10-27T22:07:00.000+05:30

Majority of British blokes believe that curvy women are better in bed than their size zero rivals, says a survey.
The study found that 89 per cent of men think having a plump partner in bed is a very good idea, reports The Sun . Also 68 per cent of women think that heavier men are the best for romps.
The poll by bed maker Silentnight found that chubbier partners "try harder" between the sheets and are more "giving".
In the study, researchers also found that skinny sleepers toss and turn five times more during the night than chunkier people.

Sex without condom is good for mental health

2009-10-26T08:30:00.000+05:30

Having sex without using condom is good for mental health, according to a new study.
Professor Stuart Brody, of the West of Scotland University, Paisley, and his colleagues conducted the study and found that unprotected heterosexual sex can significantly boost men and women''s mental wellbeing.
On the other hand, heterosexual sex with a condom is linked to poorer mental health, the study showed.
According to Brody, mankind is biologically programmed to enjoy unprotected sex because it gives couples an evolutionary advantage and maximises the chances of reproducing.
"Evolution is not politically correct, so of the very broad range of potential sexual behaviour, there is actually only one that is consistently associated with better physical and mental health and that is the one sexual behaviour that would be favoured by evolution. That is not accidental," the Scotsman quoted Brody as saying.
The researchers studied the sexual behaviour of 99 women and 111 men in Portugal.
They filled in questionnaires about the pleasure they derived from their sex lives and contraception use.
Using a measure of psychological health developed in Canada, Brody concluded that condom use was linked to members of the sample who exhibited problems dealing with stress.
He found that those who had unprotected sex appeared to be able to deal with stress in a more mature way by taking effective action. They also had better mental health.
However, his conclusions have been criticised by sexual health campaigners, who warned that unsafe sex leads to unwanted pregnancies and diseases.
Tony Kerridge of Marie Stopes International, the leading sexual health and reproductive health organisation, said: "I would have thought that the mental health of anyone would be tested if they found out they had a sexually transmitted disease or that there was an unwanted pregnancy.
"Particularly in the case of casual relationships where there is no desire to get pregnant, advice should always be that condoms should be used," Kerridge added.
The study has been published in the academic journal Archives of Sexual Behaviour.

People learning sex secrets from Internet

2009-10-26T08:23:00.000+05:30

As many as 75 per cent of Malaysians have Internet to thank for providing them information on sex, a new poll suggests.
According to the Durex Sexual Wellbeing Survey, men were ahead when compared to women in using the World Wide Web to surf about bedroom passion.
Other sources included magazines with as many as seventy-three per cent of the respondents relying on them, reports The Star Online.
Sixty-five per cent turned to books, 56 per cent to friends and peers, and 43 per cent to their partners.
Sex education at school made up for only 36 per cent.

Secret behind passionate kiss revealed

2009-10-26T08:18:00.000+05:30

Ummmms’ and ‘aaahhhs’ are not the only co-partners of kissing, for a passionate lip-lock unleashes a chain of chemical changes that really turn your head, claims a new study.
As Valentine's Day approaches, Wendy Hill, professor of psychology at Lafayette College, Pennsylvania has taken the opportunity to shed light on that most basic of all human expressions of love – the smooch.
In her study, Wendy has found that a meeting of lips can spark a complex chemical surge into the brain that makes a lover feel excited, happy or relaxed. Also, it is being speculated that the hormone release may be triggered directly by an exchange of sexually stimulating pheromones in the saliva.
“This study shows kissing is much more complex and causes hormonal changes and things we never thought occurred,” The Times quoted her, as saying. “We tend to think more about who we are kissing and how it feels, yet there are a lot of other things happening,” she added.
To reach the conclusion, the research team looked at the impact of kissing on levels of two hormones, oxytocin and cortisol, in 15 male-female couples before and after holding hands and before and after kissing.
Oxytocin is known to be involved in social bonding so the researchers predicted that its levels would rise, while cortisol, a stress hormone, would fall. The results showed cortisol levels fell in both sexes, although oxytocin levels rose in men but fell in women.

Decode your lover's body language

2009-10-26T08:10:00.000+05:30

No matter where you bump into your eye candy - at a friend's house, at a bar, a restaurant or even in the midst of a crowded market, the questions remain the same: "What on Earth is he/she thinking? Does he/she really like me? Do I stand a chance?"
But do you know that men and women both are pre-programmed to send out physical clues when they're interested in the opposite sex? A huge advantage of becoming aware of your love interest's body language is that you can now read her mind and predict their next move. Here's how you can understand body language clues...
Her Body
Eye Contact : It all starts with an eye lock, doesn't it? Eyes telegraph unspoken messages and the female species definitely knows how to use this part of their body to their advantage. "I use this trick when I want to attract a guy's attention and no matter how clichéd it sounds, this trick always works!" says Sunaina Sharma, a student. "My first interaction with my wife started through eye contact. She was sitting with her friends on a staircase in college and I was a newcomer. It won't be wrong to say that she literally used her eyes as weapons to trap the prey (me)!" shares Prabhu a corporate executive.
Hot tip : "An eye contact can vary from curiosity, cool assessment to a coy interest in someone. When a girl makes eye contact that lasts longer than a furtive glance, it is a positive move on her part. If a girl looks deeply into a guy's eyes, she's telling him that he's the most charming person in the room. However, a full frontal stare is risky. It may come across as too bold to those men who get freaked out by direct behavior by a woman," says Dr. Upadhyaya.
Exposing : Yes, we know that most women love indulging in skin show, but here we're talking about a particular area: their long and smooth neck. "There was a girl in my office who was infamous for indulging in sex talks with male colleagues. She would always sit with her hair on one side of her shoulder, revealing her slender and perfumed neck. In fact, some of her friends told me once that she purposely did this as she felt it made her look sexy and was a nice way of luring someone for dirty talks," reveals Shailja Thakur, a business analyst.
Hot tip : "When you're reading a woman's body gestures, observe if she tosses her hair over one shoulder frequently. If your answer is in the affirmative, then be assured that the lady has fallen hard for you," says Dr. Akhouri. "It's an indirect act of submission and it not only exposes your neck, but also screams for attention," he adds.
Leg Crossing : The next time you get the chance to sit with your eye candy, observe her leg movements very carefully. While crossing her legs, if her top leg always points in your direction, treat it as a win-win situation. "I personally feel that a woman's whole personality changes as soon as she crosses her legs... it creates a goddess-like aura around her. On my last date, the girl sat with her legs crossed sexily all through the date and occasionally rubbed her thighs. Not only did I got broad hints, but it also was a big turn on for me," says Manu Vohra, a marketing manager.
Hot tip : According to Dr. Upadhyaya., "Leg crossing is suggestive of a nervous or provocative gesture. Often, woman can't help crossing their legs in front of the guy they have the hots for. It is a subconscious gesture that clearly says a man is getting on to her."
Arm Crossing : Crossing of arms by a woman has numerous meanings. "The receptionist in my old office used to sit with her hands and legs crossed every time I was around. Initially, I thought her to be an arrogant lass, but it was only when she asked me out one day that I realised what that meant," says Sagarmani Dhakal, a corporate executive. "The best way to highlight your assets in front of a man is to cross your hands right below your chest and the guy is bound to notice you!," suggests Puja Khanna, a marketing executive. "Whenever I want something more from a guy than just talking and shopping, this is the trick that I apply," she quips.
Hot tip : "Crossed arms signal a woman's vulnerability and it can also be a way of telling a guy that she doesn't like him and doesn't want him around at all. Crossing of arms over her chest is also a clever way of drawing attention towards her assets," explains Dr. Upadhyaya.
Leaning : If you catch your ladylove practically leaning towards your shoulders most of the times she's around you, there is very little chance that she is not madly in love with you! "I went with my colleague for a movie and throughout the film, I could feel her hair on my neck and shoulders. The hint was enough for me to understand that I wasn't a mere colleague for her anymore," says Sunny Kudav, a programmer.
So the next time you want your guy to know he means a lot to you, just put your head on his shoulder, close your eyes and relax! "When my husband and I were just friends, and wanted to graduate to the level of lovers, I kept dropping hints like these. I would quietly lean over his body and say nothing. I wanted him to know that I was dependent on him and that his company was soothing and that life without him would now be difficult," says Shailja Sharma, a housewife.
Hot tip : "There is nothing more pleasurable than to make your love confession indirectly to your man. If a woman leans on a man, it's a sign of acceptance. It means she thinks the guy is dependable and trustworthy. She has found in you her dream man," tells Dr. Akhouri.
HIS BODY
Eyebrow flash : Pay attention to your crush's eyebrows the next time you meet him, for this gesture can convey his likeability for you. "Whether you walk the corridor of a corporate office or go shopping in a crowded street, you will find at least a dozen men staring at you with their raised eyebrows. This gesture is too obvious to go unnoticed," says Drishika Chowdhry, a model.
Hot tip : "When the person we're attracted to comes before us, our first reaction is that of raising our eyebrows", says Dr. Pramod Upadhyaya. "It lasts about a fifth of a second and it happens to everyone," he adds.
He's checking out your body : His eyes take a tour of your body, stopping for a moment to scan the sexiest parts. "Guys do this all the time. I remember a guy from final year whom I dated for a couple of months. He would make it a point to scan my body as soon as I entered the class. And the strangest part was that he would want to me see his act," holds Ritu Rauthan, an MCA student. "If one wants to end up in bed with a girl, he needs to throw strong signals and the best way to do it is to let her see you when you are exploring every part of her body with your eyes," says Vishal Khandelwal, a web designer.
Hot tip : "When a guy lets you see him checking out your body, it's a way of indirectly telling the opposite sex: 'I'm considering you as a sexual partner'," says Dr.Tapas K Akhouri, a body language trainer.
His hands are on your body : This means the guy is subconsciously drawing your attention to his assets. Whichever part a man aims at is the most meaningful part to him. "My boyfriend used to position his chest towards me while talking and sometimes he would put his hands in his back pockets and walk. When we grew close he told me that these were the areas where he loves my touch the most," says Anu, a hotel receptionist.
Hot tip : "Guys generally do this to highlight their physical size and body confidence," mentions Dr. Upadhyaya. "Men point at their best sexual assets and at the parts of the body where they would most like to be touched. For example, if during a conversation, he stands with his hands on his hips, he wants you to touch and admire his bottom," he adds.
He'll start playing with circular objects : Ever wondered why? They remind him of a woman's assets. "My best friend had a habit of fiddling with rolled magazines, newspapers, paper weights and any round object he could lay his hands upon, whenever we were together. Once he caught me in private and tried to get physical. I was bewildered. Later I read about this body language cue in a magazine and realized what his gestures meant. He always had sexual thoughts on his mind," says Priya, (name changed on request), a BPO worker.
Hot tip : "Men sometimes start playing with round objects while talking to the girl they have a liking for. They may squeeze a glass or start rolling it. The reason being their sexual inclination towards that particular girl," explains Dr. Upadhyaya.
He touches his face a lot : One of the ways in which a man's body speaks of his ardent feelings is the way he touches his ears, rubs his chin and pats his cheeks with the back of his fingers in front of his lady love. "I touch my face and neck quite a lot in front of the girls I have the hots for. It is something that happens involuntarily with me...mostly when I am nervous," says Jitender Bharadwaj, a BPO employee.
Hot tip : "It's a mix of nervousness and excitement. Attraction is a dangerous matter and our body can knowingly or unknowingly reveal it in ways that are quite unfamiliar to most of us. Out lips and mouth become sensitive to touch and other stimulations," says Dr. Akhouri.
Source:timesofindia

Comfort zones for sex

2009-10-24T10:02:00.000+05:30

If boredom is setting into your relationship and causing doldrums in your sex life, it's time to shed your inhibitions and get more experimental to enhance sexual pleasure.
While you may have already indulged in different kinds of love-making with your partner, it's important to ensure the right settings to make the most of a night of passion. Be it the bedroom ambiance, surrounding items, lighting, aroma or anything that helps boosting your sexual desire, the decor of the room must be in accordance with your mood and the kind of sex you want to indulge in.
Marriage and relationship counselor Gitanjali Sharma elucidates, "Sex is a natural need for all human beings. But there has to be appropriate arousal for a night of passion and the environment, ambience and bedroom settings play a major role is stimulating your sexual hormones. Just like we eat when we are hungry, similarly, there has to be a sex drive and a physical desire to make you indulge in sex and it come from various things in the pleasure playground."
Couples indulge in sex for various reasons. Some want to experiment and try out new things in bed, while others love seeing their partner experience heights of pleasure. There are others too who love pampering their partner through diverse forms of sex.
Here are various settings that can enhance your sexual camaraderie.
Create an innovative environment during experimental sex
As the name suggests, an experiment signifies something creative and out-of-box, so it could be a wild sexual stint. Couples opting for experimental sex aim to bring back the excitement and lust filled initial-days of their relationship. No matter how long they've been into their relationship, there is a need to have an Earth-shattering sexual experience every once in a while.
DO IT RIGHT : Dr Amita Mishra, a sex and relationship expert suggests, "When it's about being experimental, try out just about everything. From the sofa to the floor, living room to the kitchen, bathtub to the garden, let your imagination take over completely. Enacting a porn star or a pole dancer act could take your spouse by surprise. Having meals in a semi-clad state will ignite your partner's erotic side. Keep sexual props like whips, chains, pompoms and streamers handy to add to the mood."
Pamper your beau during make-up sex
Make-up sex is a quick and effective way to get rid of an ugly argument, so if you had a gut-wrenching fight with your spouse, there can be nothing better than indulging in a sexual reconciliation. While the act gives you several chances to say 'sorry' to your partner, don't forget the right ambiance is e a blessing in disguise. Not only it will make your partner feel pampered, but also let you gradually descend towards a sex romp.
DO IT RIGHT : Marriage and relationship counselor Gitanjali Sharma adds, "Keep a nice musical show piece, preferably a couple doing ball dance, alongside the bed that makes a chiming sound to add to the soothing aroma that you wished to create. Also, a lavish chandelier placed right above your bed can create the right combination of light and shadow. Also, decorate the room with flowers, place some surprise gifts for your partner, use satin bed sheets, heart shaped pillows etc that create a perfect atmosphere that makes your partner forget the fight and enjoy the sexual gratification."
Keep it simple foe necessary sex
Necessary sex is all about decreasing sexual anxiety, accomplishing the Big O, and feeling good
about your sexual prowess. A sexual act that most couples perform as a vital part of a long-term relationship can also lead to special, intimate 'me-time' moments which relieve stress, burns calories and lift your sagging spirits.
DO IT RIGHT : Dr Amita says, "Just keep the settings simple. Stick to a conventional bedroom setting with a nice bed sheet and some scented candles boosting your sexual desires. A prolonged foreplay in or outside the bedroom area can gear you up for a gratifying act in bed. Indulge in a quick session of reading the Kamasutra to master new sex positions or watch a porn film together to set the mood for such 'necessary' sexual experiences. Remember, wearing saucy lingerie can also hit the right spot to woo your partner."
Sex on my mind on vacation
When it's about a sexual getaway, forget all domestic anxieties back home, as carrying them along will only decrease your sexual pleasure. Plan to have sex in a romantic locale that allows you to rediscover each another in a new light. Leave your laptop behind, turn the cell phone off and relax to make the sex better.
DO IT RIGHT : Gitanjali explains, "The perfect settings for recreational sex includes first indulging in a candlelit dinner with the right mix of aphrodisiacal food and wine, which you normally do not consume at home. A salsa dance session can further evoke your erotic senses, coupled with some sexual images placed appropriately on the walls of your room. Ideally try and opt for a room with a romantic or spectacular view of a lake or a mountain."
Bring vigour back during solace sex
Sex, undeniably, is the best remedy when you are feeling miserable, dejected, anguished or lonely. Sexual acts to relieve your tensions are more emotional, more engaging and possibly more expressive and thus the focus is more on cuddling, rather than on climaxing. Since couples look forward to intensifying their bond, the ambience during solace sex can really make a difference. Forget the regular bed; why not try it out in the bathtub?
DO IT RIGHT : Dr Amita agrees, "Use scented warm water, adding rose petals to set the mood, Furthermore, a hot shower together with your partner stimulates the sex hormones and also gives a chance for intimate moments. Lastly, a sensuous massage either with a chocolate spa or aroma oils can help in calming your tensed mind and thus giving you more comforting pleasure."
Keep it private for racy sex (one night stands)
Most couples would deny this, but love takes a backseat and it's the lust that comes to the forefront during a racy one-night stand. The lack of emotional attachment makes it easier for couples to climax.
DO IT RIGHT : There is something wildly erotic about the back seat of your car, or a dark stair case when you are in the throes of a quickies. The stimulation from the fear that you maybe caught red-handed leads to a lot more of experimentation, including oral stimulation. Get down and dirty, throw back your latent inhibitions and perk up the pleasure.

Myths about low sexual desire

2009-10-24T09:51:00.000+05:30

There are lots of moments in life when you seem to be the only one craving for sex and your partner just doesn't seem interested enough.
Most couples have faced this situation sometime or another in their sexual life even as the sex nosedives and vanishes for days/months and in worst case scenarios maybe even for years. Learning to recognise the symptoms behind a low sex drive helps to get out of the sticky situation. Here are the most common myths about your low sexual levels:
Myth 1: Too much stress leads to low sex drive
Banker Rohit Khanna complained about high stress levels to his partner. "I was having a tough time with my boss in office. That affected my interest in sex, but Aradhana just wouldn't understand. We ended up fighting, with my wife accusing me that I just wasn't interested in her anymore and I was put off by the thought of indulging in sex with her. Finally, we both had to visit a counselor who helped us see the problem for what it was. It was also a time when I had begun to doubt my own sexual prowess. So yes, it was extremely traumatic."
Beat it: Psychologist Poornima Adhikari explains, "Couples often go through high and low phases in their sexual desires. It could be triggered off by anything and stress is most often one of the major reasons for a lack luster sexual life. The hectic lifestyle of today bears ugly aftermaths and thus couples must figure out ways to de-stress. They should look into common areas of interest that help them bond and find happiness together. And talking about your problems is a great way of lowering high stress levels. So communicate, take out time even if it's just 10 minutes every day to talk about things that are troubling you."
Myth 2: Women's low libido are governed by her hormones
Shraddha Singh, a hotel executive reveals that men often believe that hormones regulate a woman's intrinsic moods and desires. "Anand, my husband always fought with me when I told him that I just didn't want to have sex today. He inevitably blamed it on my hormonal levels, saying that women were victims of their hormones. But that's such a huge misconception. Our hormones are just like our male counterparts too." She adds, "Often, a low libido is caused by eating habits, fatigue, not enough sleep and many more physiological factors. Also it's about our mental health."
Beat it: Adhikari points out that low sex drive in women often stems from how they feel about themselves and how they view their relationship with their partner. So when women complain about a low sex drive, their partners need to make them feel good about themselves. Couples need to sit together and work out how on to improve their existing relationship. The woman must be going through some kind of complex feelings that need to be detangled to take the relationship forward at a physical level.
Myth 3: Medications help to boost low sex drive
According to Dr Swaroop Pandit, Anshuman Hospital, a dip in sexual levels is often
caused by circumstances men/women face which causes physiological and psychological changes in the body. "Often patients seek an immediate solution but it takes time to make them realise that there isn't any immediate cure. It’s better if they could see it very objectively rather then losing sleep over it. It’s important to realise that medications can sometimes have just the opposite effect. So, what is important is to seek out the root of the problem, whether it’s physical, psychological or any other. That is half the fight done."
Beat it: Psychoanalyst Sushant Chauhan points out, "Medication should always be kept as the last option. Patients can often be cured by simply addressing their problems. And more than men, its women today who complain about their low sex drive. There are women who are traumatised by the balancing act that they have to deliver everyday by looking into both their professional and personal lives, so at times they almost give sex a miss. Women also get involved with their children once they become mothers so it takes a while to get back their normal drive. What it requires is some patience, a lot of love and time. These factors can go a long way to cure the fears and inhibitions you have."
Myth 4: Sexual drive works in isolation to our body
Business analyst Deepak Sharma experienced a phase of low libido. Stricken by panic attacks and running to and fro between seeing doctors and meeting deadlines worsened the case. A chain smoker, his smoking consequently saw a heady increase. "I was totally losing control. I was embarrassed to talk about my low libido with my peers and I just didn't know what was happening to me. Some said I should visit a doctor, some said I should try out herbal medication. I was just not in a position to realise what was causing it. I began to drink steadily along with smoking, often going without meals. And all the time I was thinking how everyone saw me as this loser," confesses Sharma.
Beat it: "This is definitely a cause and effect situation. Men are known to give their sexual drive a lot of importance, so it's very natural for them to react in this manner. Men, in India are a shy lot and very rarely come out to address problems until they are pushed by their partners or family members. Firstly, be clear that it doesn’t matter that you are experiencing a low libido level. However, once you face such a predicament, do not aggravate the problem by smoking and so on. It is a fact that smoking can cause impotency, but many people still do not view this as a major problem. So if you are a smoker, kick the habit. If you drink too often, start counting your drinks. Reshuffling your lifestyle, taking a holiday, pursuing interesting hobbies often leads to reinstating your drive," says Chauhan.
Myth 5: High sexual life is equivalent to a good emotional intimacy
Quite often we are taken over by a secure emotional intensity that we share with our partner. And we take that as a guarantee for a fulfilling sex life. Like Shweta Trikha, a struggling model, reveals, "I found a lot of emotional succor from my partner, especially because of the competitiveness that pervaded my work life. He made me feel like we are best friends and nothing could be better then this. But our sexual life was losing its zing. And I didn't know how to get it back on track. Despite drawing so much security from each other, we saw that we were losing steam in bed. That was the time when I hit the alarm bell."
Beat it: Adhikari explains, "Couples often experience moments when everything is going right for them emotionally, except that they are unable to feel a sexual desire for each other. So, instead of getting overwhelmed, go easy. A way out is not to think about having sex and scoring highly in the act. Instead start by just being playful. Forget about doing anything that is normal; instead think of ways to make yourself feel sexy and desired by your beau. The best solution is to feel desired for desire to take precedence in your love life."
Myth 6: If your partner wants to have sex and you don't, then you can make up by showing love in other ways
Confesses
college-goer Amit Nagpal, "I faced this problem with my girlfriend. We would often have these dry spells where we didn't touch each other for months even as my girl craved it. I would try to make up for my low sex drive by showering her with gifts, telling her how much I loved her almost all the time. But there was no satisfying her. She complained about not kissing, hugging and I just couldn't explain that I didn't feel like getting physically intimate. Finally there came a time when I decided to give her a break."
Beat it: "This is a problem that is very common, but never understood. Every couple shares a different chemistry, but it is important to touch and feel each other. Especially for married couples, because even if you try to show your love in other ways, it can't compensate for lack of physical closeness. The physical aspect is more important and can't t be replaced by any other act. So it's best to say that you are facing a problem, instead of trying to hide it by resorting to other means to display love," explains Chauhan.
Myth 7: Low libido makes you less desirable
This is a prevalent misconception that can scar the psyche of a person permanently. Fashion designer Sonal Lal, says," I was engaged to be married, but during our courtship period, I just couldn't do get physical with my fiance. Every time he suggested sex, I refused his overtures as I was unable to feel any physical longing for him. This went on till he broke off the engagement complaining that I was cold and frigid and undesirable. The experience hurt so much that I kept away from men for a long time post my broken engagement. And whenever anyone tried to cosy up with me, I shied away being afraid of being rejected all over again."
Beat It: Explains Chauhan that no individual has the right to abuse their partner who may be facing these problems. "Yes, it happens that we might not feel attracted to the person we have planned to marry. It's important to question the basis of your relationship with your prospective partner then, rather then taking the blame on yourself. As discussed, there could be problems beyond the periphery of normal understanding. And desire stems from feeling good about yourself. First develop a positive image about yourself," adds Chauhan.
Myth 8: Sex is the only thing in a relationship
Gautam Nirula, a sales executive says, "I was always told by my friends that a relationship is based on sex. Thus, when I got married, I concentrated on that. However what I failed to understand was that sex depends on a lot of factors. I always wanted sex and my wife kept on refusing me. And instead of understanding her predicament, I remained angry with her. This resulted in a distance between the two of us. Only when elders interfered and counselled me, I realized what was going wrong. Today; I feel that emotional compatibility, trust and faith in each other make the foundation on which great sex is built."
Beat it: Explains Adhikari, "Married couples need to go beyond sex to get it right in bed. If you harbour anger or resentment about your partner you can't enjoy a gratifying sexual life. Often it's the emotional closeness that is most required. When couples come to me I advise them not to think about their physical needs. Instead they are advised to look out for the things they like/love about each other. And develop their bond from there onwards. They need to concentrate on the positives than seeing the negatives. This helps them to get your passion back.

9 mantras to reclaim your sex life

2009-10-24T09:45:00.000+05:30

If the credit crunch managed to limp your sex life last year, then here are nine tips from an expert to help restore those lost charms in the bedroom.

Dr. Ian Kerner, a New York City-based sex therapist, said that recession had taken its toll on people in general who were subsequently “having less sex”. "Fifty million people are stuck in a sex rut. The economy inhibits a person's libido because they feel stressed and depressed,” Fox News quoted Kerner as saying.

The author of Love in the Time of Colic: The New Parent's Guide to Getting It on Again has proposed nine ways to help those looking to give a boost to their passion.

Here are nine ways to reclaim your sex life:

1. Just go ahead with it: “It might sound silly, but just have more sex. Your mind has become habituated to not having sex, so it’s hard to break out of it. You have to reconnect.”

2. Connect with each other: “You can’t just turn sex on when it’s time to go to bed.You need to build that sense of connection."

3. Stay positive: “Studies show that for couples to boost their sex life, they have to be positive. It’s easy to go home and talk about mortgages and bills, but if it leads to a negative cycle of communication, figure out a positive form of communication.”

4. Prioritise your relationship: “Couples are spending more time on Facebook and blogs. The next thing you know it’s 11:30 p.m. and it’s too late for sex. There’s no urgent need to check your BlackBerry — your relationship has to be a priority.”

5. Adopt and maintain a healthy lifestyle: "It's easy to binge at the end of December with the holiday eating and drinking. Get healthy and remain healthy. It will increase your sex drive and exercise will boost your self-esteem, which is crucial to enjoying sex."

6. Reveal fantasies: “In sex, you often do the same things, rely on the same moves. Share a fantasy. Or, if you feel your partner is lacking in attentiveness, instead of criticising, express it in a sexy way.”

7. Lend a helping hand: “A lot of women aren’t interested in sex because they have other things on their minds like chores, dirty dishes and men can’t always appreciate that aspect. If men help and create an environment where women want to have sex, that’s really important.”

8. Be honest: “One of the benefits of being in a relationship is that sex isn’t perfect — guys are subject to their issues, women are subject to theirs. If in ’08 you were saying something didn’t matter, (maybe) it does in ’09. Sex changes from year to year and ’09 is a new year.”

9. Create the right environment, ‘the love nest’: “Put a little more energy into your surroundings. Create a surrounding that appeals to your senses.”

SEO, Google And Sex

2009-10-22T23:06:00.000+05:30

Tel Aviv ---- October 21, 2009 ..... The following parody is a cute tale of SEO, Google and sex which may have it creative origins in India. A magical place where thousands are employed for only a few dollars and whose mission is to attract both reader and search engine using any means they can. These busy Indian optimizers use a variety of legal spam methods, including employing the word sex to attract. Sex is the number one searched word on the Net with over 582,000,000 pages coming up on Google.
Even The New York Times has worked to ensure that its site and search results are incredibly Google friendly, so Google friendly in fact that a recent search for “sex” on Google currently serves the NY Times internal archive search results for sex as #2.

In the story below, notice how often the word sex is used, along with the words Google and SEO. But what really made us smile in writing and editing this story was how organized and creative the writer was. He didn't just throw out some words hoping that some literally trash would stick to the search engines. For it remains the creative balance between good and interesting content and the optimization of that content which makes today's Internet Web and news author relevant.
SEO or search engine optimization is a term widely used in Internet marketing. It is quite useful for any Website in Israel, New York, London, Paris, China or India for increasing traffic, sales and services. It is crucial for any site to achieve its optimum ranking results in Google, Yahoo and numbers of other search engines.
SEO is the process of increasing the volume and traffic to a web site from various search engines by increasing organically the search results for targeted keywords. Usually, the earlier a site is presented in the search results or the higher it “ranks”, the more searchers will visit that site. SEO can also target different kinds of search, including image search, local search, and industry-specific vertical search engines.

Now, what is sex?
I think there is no need for the explanation of this term because it is the most searched term on the Internet. Everyone knows about sex and its importance for stability, sensation and satisfaction in life. So, it is referred to as a basic need. In the same way as SEO is critical for your site.
Why SEO and sex is important? SEO is important for the instant growth of your business. If you are not ranking well in the search engines then it can help you in various ways. It will enhance your site traffic. Traffic will increase your sales and services as you penetrate the market.

If you rank well, you may even establish a brand name in your specific market.

Sex is a sensation which is most important for a healthy, happy and peaceful life. A greater satisfaction may increase your thinking and coolness in life. If you enjoy healthy sex on a daily basis then it can enhance many other aspects of your life.

For ultimate satisfaction, a healthy sex life is important. In the same manner with SEO if you secure more organic traffic results on Google then the greater will be your satisfaction.
With a more natural and open approach as to your involvement in sex, the more powerful the sensation. In the same perspective as when you get a boom in business then naturally powerful results may fill you with sensation.
There are various similarities between SEO and sex.
But there are some differences which makes SEO better than sex. Well friends, I am going through the alphabetical approach to describe how SEO and sex is similar and dissimilar.
Both create sensation. SEO and sex both create intimacy and boundless sensations. SEO is a sensational thing for any Website and sex generates sensation through physical intercourse. As I stated above - SEO brings traffic to a site organically or naturally and sex creates sensation in the orgasm and in the human body by a natural phenomenon.
Both are organic functions - although both can be paid for. But please, do not confuse Google Adwords with prostitution. Although both may be optimized through the use of keywords.
As traffic increases for a site it brings new customers and increases business for the company or organization behind the site. In a similar way, as the climax during sex increases the pleasure increases. So, traffic for a site may be simulated with the orgasmic climax in sex.
Expertise is needed. In both cases an expert may generate wonderful results.
An SEO expert can manage the site for Google and Yahoo rankings well in the SERPs and secure increased traffic to the site. It is the tactics based on extensive professional marketing knowledge, social networking (Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, blogs), Web 2.0, viral marketing, PR and the practice of the SEO expert by which he or she can have a site ranked high in a very short time for targeted traffic. A practice which can work quicker and stay stronger than Viagra!
In a similar way, an expert in sex can generate more pleasure than a new member. He or she may know about the right sexual positions, time and the procedure to follow which can increase organic results and pleasurable sensation in the body.
Optimization is critical. Here is where SEO differs from sex because the word sex does not contain the letter “O”. SEO is the process of optimizing search results by using the professional knowledge of an SEO professional.
Professional SEO services will increase the optimum results day by day. But in the case of sex a human having more sex may lessen his or her interest and stamina with time.
Then we have the X - Factor. The “X Factor” refers to the indefinable“something” that makes one thing better than other. SEO is the process of making an “O”rdinary site into an e“X”tra ordinary site so the X letter is silent in SEO in this way. So, here is the difference or X - factor which differs SEO from sex and makes SEO more potent than sex.
Well friends, SEO has an extra silent X which proves that it is better than sex.
Now let's examine excessive linking in SEO and excess of sex.

Excessive means “exceeding a normal, usual, reasonable, or proper limit”. Linking which means “to become connected with or as if with a HTML link”.
Google released their guidelines on Link Scheme and below one can find violations of Google’s Webmaster blackhat practices that can negatively impact your site’s ranking in search results.
One must be wary of links intended to manipulate PageRank. Links to web spammers or bad neighborhoods on the web. Excessive reciprocal links or excessive link exchanging such as "link to me and I’ll link to you." Buying or selling links that pass PageRank are also forbidden.
Excessive linking may harm your site SEO Google search results and authority. When you link excessively the search engines will stop counting them when evaluating your authority.
Now in the case of sex the result is the same.

Excess sex may be harmful to your health. Some health care providers say that excess of sexual activity can put an extra strain on your heart, especially if your heart is already weak from a heart attack or heart disease. There is an exception to this rule when it comes to prostate cancer where recent research indicates that daily sex and or masturbation may actually reduce incidence of this cancer by up to one third. And that daily sex for females may actually act as a catalyst for them to perform more domestic chores. Please do not slay the messenger here for these recent news developments.
Now for our professional assessment of the effect of no SEO and no sex.
If a site owner has no SEO then he may loose an opportunity to increase his or her business. And the site and owner may worry about other tactics which may be far more expensive for him or her. And he or she may go for paid or sponsored referrals such as Google Adwords - or sponsored links. And he or she may loose the opportunity to secure customers naturally.

These men are optimized but not for the Internet. The INA cautions all males athletes from taking part in sex before participating in sports. This is due to endorphins being released from the male's brain during sex. Research does indicate that endorphins have little or no affect on SEO, social networking, Web 2.0 or Internet marketing practices.

In the same way in the case of no sex the life of a human being may become random and full of dissatisfaction. We only recommend no sex activity in sports for male athletes about to set Olympic records in track and field, basketball, football, soccer, tennis, skiing, baseball, cricket, swimming, hockey and shooting. Sex is a basic need so its fulfillment is necessary for a healthy and peaceful life.

The concept for the above news story was found on the Web from SEO experts in India. We from the Israel News Agency spent hours correcting grammatical mistakes but must give credit to our busy friends in India for their unending, relentless enthusiasm and non-verbal Web creativity.

If you care for more information on SEO or sex, you may check out the following websites: Israel Pr.com (English), Israel SEO Pr.com (Hebrew) or New York SEO Pr. Or you can take a relaxing and sensual trip with us to India in the near future!

Source: http://www.israelnewsagency.com

Up your sex life with Feng Shui

2009-10-21T22:07:00.000+05:30

For you to have great sex, you need to not only be in the mood but your immediate surrounding, which is your bedroom should be in tip-top Couple shape.

In a good feng shui bedroom, every item will reflect the clear intent for love, healing and relaxation.

A good feng shui bedroom is one that promotes a harmonious flow of nourishing and sensual energy. It invites you, lures you in, excites and calms at the same time. It is fun and pleasurable to be in, either you are there for a quick nap, a good night sleep or to make passionate love! Says Feng Shui Master Mohan Deep, “Relationships can be treated by correcting the energies of the bedroom. Since the bedroom is all about peace, harmony, love and passion, the right Feng Shui enhances the relationship and over the years I have seen that Feng Shui corrections have saved several marriages. Right environment including colours and the position of the bed do the trick. In fact the way a bedroom looks gives me an insight into the state of a couples marriage."

To create a good feng shui bedroom, you can use a variety of simple, practical feng shui tools, such as these:

Pure air: Open the windows often or use a good quality air-purifier to keep the air fresh and full of oxygen. Be mindful of the quality of air in your bedroom. You cannot have good feng shui in your bedroom if the air you breathe in is stale and full of pollutants. Please note that plants in the bedroom are not good feng shui, unless your bedroom is fairly large and the plants are located far from the bed.

Light effects: Have several levels of lighting in your bedroom, or use a dimmer switch to adjust the energy accordingly. Good, appropriate lighting is very important, as light is our number one nutrient and one of the strongest manifestations of energy. Candles are the best feng shui bedroom lighting, but be sure to buy candles with no toxins.

No electronics: Let go of the TV, computer or exercise equipment in your bedroom. The good feng shui energy in your bedroom is destroyed when these items are present in your bedroom.

Colour me good: Use soothing colors to achieve a good feng shui balance. A positive bedroom decor is a balanced one that promotes the best flow of energy for restorative sleep, as well as sexual healing. Best feng shui colours for the bedroom are considered the so-called ‘skin colours’, and we know the colours of human skin vary from pale white to rich chocolate brown. Choose colours within this range that will work best for your bedroom decor.

Image wise: Choose the images for your bedroom wisely, as images carry powerful feng shui energy. Best feng shui advice for the bedroom art is to choose images that you want to see happening in your life. Unless you enjoy being sad and lonely, do not use sad and lonely images in your bedroom.

Shut the world out: Keep all the bedroom doors closed at night, be it the closet doors, the en-suite bathroom door or the bedroom door. This will allow for the best and most nourishing flow of energy to strengthen your health, as well as the health of your relationship.

Follow these basic feng shui guidelines for your bed:

• Have your bed easily approachable from both sides
• Have two bedside tables (one on each side)
• Avoid having the bed in a direct line with the door
• A good looking and well-balanced bed is very important in creating a perfect feng shui bedroom. Good mattress, solid headboard and high quality sheets from natural fibers are also very important in creating harmonious feng shui energy.

Source: http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com

The Hay Fever Hat: Another Bizarre Japanese Gadget

2009-10-21T22:00:00.002+05:30

Do you believe that your bedroom life is on an all time high, thanks to the immense knowledge you have about sex? Well, we bring you seven Couple never-heard-before facts about the ‘S’ word, which are sure to leave you thinking...

1. Globally, lovers are having sex 139 times a year. The French are the lovemaking pacesetters, according to the Durex Global Sex Survey 2002, coming in at 167 times each 365 days.

2. Condoms are biodegradable — some of them. Lambskin and latex condoms are biodegradable, but polyurethane condoms aren't.

3. Sex-enhancing CDs are being sold for setting the mood. Try some classical options to rock your world: Shacking Up to Chopin, Making Out to Mozart and Bedroom Bliss with Beethoven are available.

4. Don't douche — it's not recommended anymore. Douching washes away the healthy bacteria in the vagina and alters the natural, healthy pH level. The practice can actually lead to the spread of infections in the reproductive organs.

5. Sex with a celebrity is the No. 1 fantasy worldwide. That's according to the recent Durex survey, which also found that four in 10 people have fantasized about sex with their best friend's partner!

6. Believe it – blue balls are for real. The discomfort is caused when more blood flows into the penis than out. The uneven blood flow causes an increase in the volume of blood trapped in the genitals and contributes to the penis becoming erect and the testicles becoming engorged with blood.

7. It could take eight months for a couple to conceive. So you might not get a baby off the bat, but the wait can be more than worthwhile. At least a year should go by before you fret about your fertility.

Source: http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com

Five mantras for great sex

2009-10-20T12:56:00.000+05:30

Want to spice things up in the bedroom? Well, then turn your attention to a new book that provides tips on how to turn on your partner.

Barbara and Allan Pease’s new book may come handy in making love life even sexier, reports the Daily Telegraph. According to the book, five rules for better sex and romance are:

1. Women should initiate sex- The custom of a male approaching a female may not always work out, as men are often apprehensive of being rejected. Hence, the authors believe sometimes it’s better off that women initiate kinky things.

2. Washing up can be an aphrodisiac- Men who do household chores seem sexier to women, according to the authors.

3. Men need to dress to impress - A survey conducted by anthropologist John Townsend and Gary Levy from Syracuse University showed that expensive clothing can lure women.

The polled women said they preferred having sex with men wearing smart suits, white shirts with designer ties and expensive watches to those dressed in low status clothing, such as Tshirts and jeans, vests, baseball caps and a fast-food restaurant uniform.

4. Smart women often make bad love choices- Lot of studies have shown that smarter women make wrong choices when it comes to matters of the heart.

Author of Success Intelligence, Dr Robert Holden insists that intelligent women waste their time analysing the true meaning of their relationships, instead of being open.

5. Humour is an aphrodisiac- Good sense of humour always gives an edge to men when they hit on a woman.

A heart attack can affect your sex life

2009-10-20T12:55:00.000+05:30

If you have cardiovascular disease or have had a heart attack, you may have some concerns about sex.

For instance, men with heart disease may experience erectile dysfunction. Erections depend on the arteries that supply blood to the penis, so it makes sense that atherosclerosis is the most common cause of impotence. But high blood pressure, abnormal cholesterol levels, diabetes, and smoking — all leading cardiac risk factors — also increase a man's risk for impotence.

Research does show that cardiac problems can increase in the hour or two after sexual intercourse, but in reality, the risk is very, very low — even for people who've had heart attacks already. It's about as safe as walking up two flights of stairs. Studies also show that regular exercise markedly reduces the risk for heart attack during or soon after sexual activity.

Some people have angina during sexual activity. If this happens, you should tell your doctor. Doctors often recommend that people in this situation take nitrates before sex to avoid this problem.

Source: timesofindia.indiatimes.com

Emotions good for women's sex lives

2009-10-16T17:34:00.000+05:30

Refreshing your sex life

2009-10-16T17:15:00.000+05:30

Refreshing your sex life

According to a latest report, slow lovemaking is the new mantra to renew your sex life. No matter how fun loving or aggressive is your partner, slow and steady always wins the race.

Originally developed by sex researchers William Masters and Virginia Johnson, sensate focus exercises involve each partner paying increased attention to their own sensations when stimulated.

However the exercises have helped lovers to overcome issues like performance anxiety, rapid ejaculation, lack of orgasm and erectile dysfunction.

The benefits of sensate focus are discovering new types of touch, spine-tingling sensations, increased comfort with physical intimacy, better awareness of your lover's body, as well as your own.

These exercises can help couples to strengthen their relationship, and also guarantees no fear of failure, better sex communication, and heightened sexual excitement.

With such pleasuring exercises couples do not make sex goal-oriented, instead, they enjoy the experience of being with one another.

According to Fox News, couples in therapy are usually advised to abstain from having intercourse while focusing on the physical sensations triggered during sensate play.

This not only alleviates anxiety and mental distractions that lead to sexual difficulties, but also offer up a greater awareness of the wide range of stimuli that encompass all of the senses.

When pursuing sensate focus exercises, set aside at least 60 uninterrupted minutes in a warm bedroom and one may even enhance the setting with soothing music and candles.

If it helps, take a bath (or anything else that relaxes you). Take your time, over several "dates," and finally get on with the sessions.

Sensate focus sex could establish new ways of relating to each other and partners may find themselves having some of the best sex of their lives.

Tips to seduce your woman

2009-10-16T17:05:00.002+05:30

Sydney's famous writer Sam de Brito, in his new book 'Building a Better Bloke', has admitted that he has had his share of dud dates - because his past approach to dating involved getting drunk.

However he confessed that he has made a few adjustments when it comes to luring the opposite sex. And he has urged other men to do the same in his new book.

"I'm not trying to teach men how to be a pick-up artist or a stud, I want to show men how to build self-esteem, build a life for themselves - which in turn will attract women," the Courier Mail quoted Brito, as saying.

Brito's generation has lost the art of communicating with women. "Guys have fallen through the cracks. We like to think of men as bold and confident and a lot of them aren't," he said.

He said that for some, the biggest fear in life is approaching and striking up a conversation with a woman. In this case, he has suggested practice and a sense of humour is the key. The catch phrase of his book is: "Find a life and you'll find love". "The biggest thing is not to look cool, but to have a life with lots of interests. Get involved in your life, look after yourself, and you're primed to meet someone," he said.

He said that good manners and keeping clean are also important. "Be a gentleman. Respect yourself. Even if you're funny and charming, you're not going to get far with a woman if you smell," he said.

Besides clean sheets and clean fingernails, Building a Better Bloke also reminds men of the simple things, like holding a door open for women.

So here he suggests ten tips to lure a woman:

Stay healthy

Don't abuse alcohol or drugs

Have a job that means something to you

Be busy with your own activities

Be well groomed and clean

Have a sense of humour

Talk to women as individuals, not as a gender

Be a gentleman

Don't mix with loser friends

Have a clean bedroom, clean sheets - and a lamp to create romantic lighting

More teens indulging in unwanted sex: Survey

2009-10-16T14:26:00.000+05:30

One third of Aussie teenagers have confessed that they have experienced unwanted sex, according to a survey.

The survey by the Australian Research Centre for Sex, Health and Society, at La Trobe University, has highlighted the vulnerability of teenagers, especially girls.

The fourth National Survey of Secondary Students and Sexual Health, involving 2926 students from 105 schools in state and private schools, was done last year in all states and territories.

The survey of the sexual experiences of the students, in years 10 and 12 found that the most common reasons for unwanted sex were pressure from a partner or just being drunk.

Researcher Anthony Smith said that, strikingly, girls in year 12 were having more sexual partners and drinking 30 per cent more than they did when a similar survey was done in 2002.

Smith said that the extent of unwanted sex detected in teenagers underscored the need for sex education in schools to better explain links between underage drinking and sexual behaviour that might be accompanied with regret later.

The survey has indicated a healthy awareness of safe-sex messages in teenagers.

Condom and contraceptive use was generally high among those who were sexually active.

Overall, one fourth of year 10 students, and more than half of year 12 students, said they had had intercourse.

Professor Smith said that the average age of the year 10 students was 15 and the year 12s was usually 17.

About a third of year 10s and almost 60 per cent of year 12s reported having had oral sex.

Smith said that it was notable how diverse sexual habits and behaviour were among contemporary youth.

‘‘We are not seeing broad general trends but changes that are gender and year-level specific,’’ he said.

While adolescent girls were becoming more sexually active generally, rates for boys had remained stable or had fallen slightly since 2002.

Today’s teenagers were more sexually active than any other generation, and they appeared not to be embarrassed about asking for information about sex.

A high number - 88 per cent - had actively solicited information from adults and peers. The main source for girls and boys was their mother (56 per cent), female friends (55 per cent) and school education programs (49 per cent).

And 90 per cent of teenagers who were sexually active indicated they wanted to have sex.a

Sex can be fun for teens

2009-10-14T16:48:00.002+05:30

Britain''s National Health Service wants children to have a positive approach to sex, for which it has come up with new pamphlet, called Pleasure.

NHS in the Sheffield, South Yorkshire has released the booklet.

It apparently contains a section called "an orgasm a day'''' encouraging educators to inform teens about the positive physical and emotional effects of sex and masturbation, apart from demonstrations about how to use condoms and other contraceptives.

Teachers will now need to emphasise that sexual relations can be healthy and pleasurable instead of simply explaining the mechanics of sex and warning about diseases.

However, some people claim it will increase promiscuity.

"Some of it is good sense, but I think it''s wrong is to suggest that 16-year-olds should wantonly enter into having sexual intercourse for pleasure,'''' the Daily Telegraph quoted Anthony Seldon, headmaster of Wellington College, as saying.

He said: "I think this is medically wrong and emotionally wrong and will increase teenage pregnancy and impact negatively on the formation of a long-term loving relationship.''''

However, Steve Slack, who helped produce the leaflet as Director of the Centre for HIV & Sexual Health in Sheffield, said: "Far from promoting teenage sex, it is designed to encourage young people to delay losing their virginity until they are sure they will enjoy the experience.''''

Also, Ruth Smith, news editor of Children & Young People Now magazine, believes that the booklet will help young people become more comfortable with their sexuality.

He said: "Research shows young people feel pressured to have sex before they''re ready,'''' she said. "This booklet is intended to give them the skills to discuss it. It''s not a licence to go out and have sex, it''s saying if you do, do it, wait until you''re ready and enjoy it. It makes them more confident and more able to say no.''

Top 11 sex myths busted

2009-10-14T16:38:00.000+05:30

Whether we appreciate them or not, we still like to know about sex myths and facts and if they are true or false.

There are as many sex myths and facts as there are couples! You may have heard someone say ‘oh they broke up as their sex life was poor’, or someone else’s package size is smaller so their married life didn’t succeed. Here are some facts which we sometimes like to ignore.

1. You can't get pregnant during your period - false!

There's a chance that you can get pregnant during a period, particularly towards the end of your menstrual cycle. Unprotected sex also increases the risk infection by sexually transmitted infections (STIs).

2. You can't get pregnant during unprotected sex if the man pulls out before he ejaculates - false!

Even though your boyfriend doesn't ejaculate, sperm can still be present in his pre-cum (the clear, sticky drops that are released when he's aroused). It only takes one sperm to get you pregnant, and the fluid can also contain sexually transmitted infections. Some men aren't aware that they are ejaculating until it's too late, and it's easy to get carried away in the heat of the moment.

3. You can't get pregnant while having sex standing up, or in the shower or bath - false!

If you have unprotected sex you can get pregnant, no matter how or where you do it.

4. You can't get pregnant while on the pill - false!

The chances of getting pregnant while taking the contraceptive pill are virtually nil, provided you are following the instructions correctly and consistently. But if you miss pills, are on antibiotics, or have sickness and diarrhoea, you need to use condoms for the next seven days.

5. It's safe to have sex as soon as you're on the pill - false!

Different types of contraceptive pills take different times to kick in. This can range from 0-14 days. Always follow the instructions prescribed with your type of pill, and use an additional form of contraception such as condoms during the time it takes for your choice of pill become effective.

6. Peeing after sex washes out sperm and prevents pregnancy - false!

For a start, urine exits the bladder through the urethra, which lies above of the vaginal opening. Which means any sperm in the vagina won't even get wet when you pee.

7. Men want sex more than women do - false.

Women want sex too - but they are guided by other emotions as well. For instance, house work, kids and holding onto a job are good enough reasons to go off sex completely. So we're exhausted! Plus, hormones make us feel like having a lot of sex during certain times of the month, rather than all of the time. And, because we tend to attach more emotions to sex than men do, we aren't going to beg him for action if he's been giving us attitude.

8. Happy couples have good sex most of the time - false.

Show me a couple that's having out-of-control, raging sex every night after years of sharing the same bed, and I'll show you a pig that can fly. Life and all its pressures get in the way for all of us. Does it mean your friend is lying if she claims to have fabulous sex after five years of marriage and two kids? Maybe. Or maybe she thinks you have a great sex life and doesn't want to admit she doesn't. Or maybe her definition of great sex is different than yours. Or maybe she really does have terrific sex... once a month. It's all subjective.

9. Men are more promiscuous than women - true.

The real truth is, this one is probably true, but by much less than you think. When polled about their sex lives, men overestimate while women underestimate, due to societal pressures. It's also totally dependent on how attractive the people in question are. An attractive, sexually liberated woman is likely to have had more partners than a not-so-fab-looking guy around the same age, for instance. It's called opportunity.

10. Women don't like porn or dirty sex - false.

Women love porn. It gives them new ideas and tricks to try out to make their partners happy. Plus, a lot of them are exchanged on emails or discussed between giggles next to water coolers in the office. Anyone who thinks men are the only ones mentally undressing that sexy passenger on the metro is deluded.

11. Men always want sex - false .

You need to give more credit to your partner than that! But if he is below 18 and has landed his first girlfriend, then perhaps it is true. However, as men get older responsibilities, daily pressures, work, bills etc. come in the way and he cannot think of sex all the time. But one look, and he is ready to jump into bed - that’s also true!

Recipe for better sex: What to eat to add spice

2009-10-14T16:20:00.000+05:30

Need to spice up your sex life? All the ingredients you need may be found at your local grocery store.

Like many aspects of health, our sex drive is affected by what we put into our bodies. Certain foods affect the body in different ways. Depending on what you consume, wining and dining a date can induce more sleep than romance. A big, fancy dinner, a bottle of wine and fine chocolates may sound sweet — but such meals are actually little more than empty calories.

To really get your blood going, consider circulation-enhancing dishes. Food that's high in Omega-3 fatty acids such as mackerel, salmon and wild salmon are best. "Omega-3 makes your nervous system function better," says Dr. Barbara Bartlik, assistant professor of psychiatry and sex therapist with the Human Sexuality Program at Weill Cornell Medical Center. "Sex is really about circuitry." Multivitamins and minerals will help, too. Both improve neurological function, which contributes to good circulation.

Humans have sought ways to enhance or improve their sex lives for millennia — and have never been reluctant to spend money to make themselves better lovers. The ancient Romans were said to prefer such exotic aphrodisiacs as hippo snouts and hyena eyeballs. Traditional Chinese medicine espoused the use of such rare delicacies as rhino horn. Modern lovers are no less extravagant. In 2005, for example, according to Amsterdam-based health care information company Wulters Kluwer, Americans spent just under $1.4 billion to treat male sexual dysfunction disorders alone.

Of that amount, Viagra rang up $1.2 billion in sales for Pfizer, or 60 percent of the total market. Among the other drugs trying to find their way into American's bedside tables and back pockets are Levitra and Cialis.

There is a difference, of course, between helping sexual dysfunction and arousing our passions.

Aphrodisiacs, for the most part, have been shown to be ineffective. Named for Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of sex and beauty, these include an array of herbs, foods and other "agents" that are said to awaken and heighten sexual desire. But the 5,000-year tradition of using them is based more on folklore than real science. "There is no data and no scientific evidence," says Leonore Tiefer, clinical associate professor of psychiatry at the New York University School of Medicine. "Product pushers are very eager to capitalize on myths," she says.

Most libido-enhancing products offer short term benefit at best, according to Dr. John Mulhall, director of the Sexual Medicine Program at New York Presbyterian and associate professor of urology at the Weill Medical College of Cornell University. Mulhall, who also sits on the Nutraceuticals Committee of the Sexual Medicine Society of North America, says, "Every year, we review the literature on these compounds — these nutraceuticals like nitric oxide and ginseng — and there are none that have really been shown to be more than a placebo."

When it comes to sexual function, the placebo effect probably accounts for 30 percent of improvements in men and around 50 percent in women, he says. That means there are a lot of people out there who believe a pill they are taking or a food they are eating is doing a lot of good for them sexually. In reality, their mind is doing all the work.

So, besides renting "The Story of O" and opening a bottle of red wine, what can people do to kick-start their sex life?

For a good time, try soy
One thing they can do is change their diet. Soy, for example, binds estrogen receptors, which helps the vaginal area remain lubricated and combats symptoms of menopause — particularly hot flashes. Studies have shown that soy is also beneficial to the prostate, a crucial male sex organ. However, it's important to note that women who have a history of breast cancer should not eat large amounts of soy, because the binding of estrogen receptors actually increases the risk of reoccurrence.

Foods that promote weight loss also hold libido-boosting potential. "There has been very solid research showing that obesity is a risk factor for erectile dysfunction and low testosterone," says Dr. Ridwan Shabsigh, director of the New York Center for Human Sexuality and associate professor of urology at Columbia University's medical school. "Reducing weight," he says, "results in an increase of testosterone, and thus an increase in sexual function."

'Good for your heart, good for your penis'
"From an erection standpoint, anything that's good for your heart is good for your penis," says Dr. Mulhall. Too much saturated fat can, over time, clog arteries and, in doing so, prevent an adequate flow of blood from reaching the genital region. This not only interferes with the ability to perform, but also with sexual pleasure. Too little fat, on the other hand, is also bad.
"You need fat to produce your hormones," says Beverly Whipple, professor emerita at Rutgers University and president of the World Association for Sexology. "Cholesterol is metabolized in the liver, and you get your testosterone and estrogen, which you need for your sex drive," she says. Olive oil, salmon and nuts are optimal sources of the "good" kinds of fats —monounsaturated and polyunsaturated.

According to Dr. Judith Reichman, author of "I'm Not in the Mood: What Every Woman Should Known about Improving Her Libido," medical and hormonal problems are major contributors to sexual dysfunction and a low libido — but so are too much stress, relationship difficulties and psychological issues. Antidepressants, such as Prozac by GlaxoSmithKline and Paxil by Eli Lilly, can negatively affect sex drive as well.
Grab some granola
Improved circulation results in greater erectile response. To accomplish that, go for food rich in L-Arginine, such as granola, oatmeal, peanuts, cashews, walnuts, dairy, green vegetables, root vegetables, garlic, ginseng, soybeans, chickpeas and seeds. Studies show that L-Arginine is helpful for improving sexual function in men. There haven't been studies done on women — but remember, erectile response isn't just a guy thing. "Women have erections too: in their clitoris and the tissue surrounding the vulva," says Bartlik.
Sourse:www.msnbc.msn.com

12 sex mistakes you should never commit

2009-10-14T16:07:00.000+05:30

While much has been written about how to boost action in the bedroom, there are things one should never do when it comes
to sex.

In her new book, titled ‘Sex with Your Ex & 69 Other Things You Should Never Do Again... Plus a Few That You Should’, author Dr. Yvonne K. Fulbright has mentioned things that one should strictly refrain to keep a healthy sex life, reports Fox News.

And, according to her, the don’ts of sex are:

1. Never have a "type" of orgasm - have your orgasm

Instead of trying to have a breast, clitoral, G-spot or blended orgasm, forget the labels and have yours. Don’t worry about having a specific type, but focus on pampering your whole body, attending to any of its hot spots. This beckons your orgasm by not being so goal-oriented.

2. Never talk about past sexual relationships

Don’t invite distress into your current romance by reminiscing about the good times or bad times you’ve had with other jerks, hotties, players or loves. Focus on the present and making it the most memorable.

3. Never let sex get routine

While it’s wise to get in a routine to make sure sex happens, don’t let the sex itself get routine. This only invites monotony and the mundane. To keep things hot, be sure to keep things new and fresh.

4. Never just lie there

A big complaint you’ll hear from men and women alike is that their lover didn’t do much of anything during sex. Men have grumbled that she doesn’t move during lovemaking. Most people like an active lover - one responsive to the action, which shows that they’re into the moment.

5. Never move in together (or get married) a second time

Things didn’t work out the first time for good reason. Maybe you love each other, but if you’re incompatible or fight too much, it’s better to cut your losses and move on to a situation that does work.

6. Never drink cheap beer and stay overnight

Don’t set yourself up to be someone’s gassy guest. Get the walk of shame over with sooner rather than later, lest you stink up someone’s bedroom and bathroom. This is not the kind of lasting impression most seducers are after.

7. Never drink more than 1-2 glasses of alcohol

While spirits can do a lot for one’s spirits, sexual self-confidence, and libido, keep your booze to a minimum. More than a couple of glasses can cause erectile difficulties in men and vaginal dryness in women. Being buzzed or drunk can also lead to high-risk sexual behaviours.

8. Never compare yourself to Victoria’s Secret or Abercrombie models .

It’s no good to think that these real-life moving mannequins are the standard by which you should judge your face or form. You’ve got your own unique look and that can be super sexy, depending on how you wear it. That starts with a smile and indicating to others that you feel quite good about yourself.

9. Never totally trust magazine sex tips

Don’t mindlessly copy magazine sex tips. Think about the suggestion first. Is it hot or completely ridiculous? Will it work for your sexual relationship? Or does it have the potential to sabotage your sex life?

10. Never douche before sex

Despite popular belief, douching is not a safe or healthy way to clean the vagina. Doing so upsets the vagina’s delicate chemical balance, increasing your chance of developing pelvic inflammatory disease or other health problems. Let the vagina naturally cleanse itself and worry about other much sexier activities pre-sex.

11. Never attempt tricky Kama Sutra positions if you are not flexible .

Stick with pursuing sexual positions that are comfortable for you.

12. Never listen to somebody slamming your sexy self .

Is a guy suggesting that you get breast implants? Is some gal making fun of your penis size? In either case, ignore the criticism, or in the very least, fire back.

Boost your bedroom pleasures

2009-10-14T14:24:00.000+05:30

During the initial stages of a relationship, when the two parties involved are just about getting to discover each other, it is usually not such a problem when it comes to having an exciting time in the bedroom.
But, as you get familiar with each other’s bodies, the sex can get slightly monotonous and in some cases the sizzle is completely lost. However, this does not mean it’s the end of your sex life or that you can’t reignite the passion.
Read on for tips on how you can add some serious spice to your love life:
Just met
Pretend you and your partner have just met each other. Put yourself in a stranger’s shoes and view your partner from a new perspective. This will help you realise that he or she is still very appealing. If he or she is still getting the look from a complete stranger, it means they still have the spark.
On your part you need to find it again. In fact, let him or her in on the role playing as well. The two of you should play a little game whereby you pretend to be strangers and it’s all you need to get that added excitement.
Tease please
Nothing turns on a man or woman more than teasing them. This does not mean you get snide, it means you get playfully flirtatious. For example, you could sneak in little kisses or flirt with your partner while he or she is leaving for the office or do it in public where they know you’re flirting with them, but can’t do anything about it.
The advantage of this is, they know what you have in mind and because you were teasing him or her about it, once you are alone with them, they’ll work the magic.
The mood
If you’re in the mood to make love, do it. What happens often is that even though people might crave being with their partner , they avoid doing so because they might be busy or they feel inhibited. But the truth is, if you feel like it, go get it!
Surprise your partner one day and steal him or her away from their duties for an hour or so. In fact, they might enjoy it so much that they would want a repeat performance once they get home.
Use technology
The internet and today’s fast paced world has helped people in every aspect of their life. So use it to spice up your sex life as well. You can send him or her explicit text messages or emails. However, keep it graceful; there is a thin line between sexy and vulgar and you need to be sexy not the latter.
The email or message will be playing on your partner’s mind the entire day and by the time they see you, it will be very hard for him or her to keep their hands off you.
Forget real life
If both you and your partner are always too busy for each other because of your work, take a break. Yes, work is a priority but you need to balance things in life. Take a weekend off and go to a place where the two of you can forget all about real life and just focus on reigniting your bedroom passion.
Once the weekend is over you can return to your responsibilities, but you probably won’t mind so much because of the fabulous weekend you had.
Surprises
If you have never done anything naughty with your partner, start now. Surprise him or her with a special dance (if you do know how to shake those hips), or in the case of women go buy some seriously suggestive lingerie. Your partner will not be able to resist.
Surrender
One sure way to have a memorable sexual experience is to let go of all inhibitions. Tell your partner you are at their mercy and allow him or her to do whatever they would like to you (as long as nobody is getting hurt).
It will not only help you in the bedroom but once all inhibitions are gone and dealt with, even your relationship will improve.

10 bedroom must-haves

2009-10-13T10:53:00.002+05:30

Tired of boredom in your bedroom? Wanting to add a dash of adventure to your sex sessions? Maybe it's time you converted your bedroom into a veritable Garden of Eden to add that sizzle between the sheets.
We bring to you a list of top 10 props, which are a must have in every couple's bedroom.
So get started collecting these love essentials and you could be in for some real hot action tonight.
1. Passion oils: Those unaware about the power of fragrances must know that right kind of smell works as a magical mood setter driving passion to new heights. So, a few essential passion oils in your bedroom are unavoidable so that they help you remain surcharged at all moments.
"Natural scents present in aroma oils are of key importance when it comes to heightening sexual attraction. Some scents are overpoweringly arousing aphrodisiacs for women, while others are good enough to bewitch even the most sober of men," explains Dr. Naresh Arora of Chase Aroma Therapy.
Some of the most effective passion oils are: Ylang Ylang, Rose otto, Jasmine, Neroli and Orange blossom. A drop in the diffuser, a sensuous massage or an utterly romantic bath with these passion oils is what you need to spark a night full of action!
2. A blindfold: Big or small – the excitement caused by blindfolding your lover can perk up the adrenaline rush. Add to it the feel of a satiny-silk cloth blind-folding your eyes and the thrill of touching and feeling your lover in all the unexplored places of his body.
You can also play hide and seek and various other tantalising love games using a blind-fold in the most sensuous manner. So go ahead and blindfold your partner to expose him to a sight they've never experienced before.
3. Handcuffs and silk scarves: If you lay your hands on a handcuff, nothing like it...else silk and satin scarves can also be a sensuous help to pep up the temperature. The purpose here is to have soft ties for bondage during foreplay or sex. Just turn your partner into your slave by handcuffing him/her to the bed or simply tying their limbs with something as soft and sexy as a silk scarf.
Being restrained and then loved can multiply the passion manifolds. "I find it really erotic to see my man writhing, struggling and moaning when I get naughty with him as he remains totally under my control, which happens only when I tie him up," says Neerja Mehendiratta, a 27-years-old advertising professional.
Being helpless is definitely pleasurable, even for your partner who's enjoying the mild domination. Either way, it's a win-win situation for both the partners, which adds to the sex experience.
4. A feather or a soft brush: Make your beau your sex slave and convert a mundane love making ritual into a heady passion play. Your partner is at your disposal and you have nothing but your hands to work with. Get into the experiment mode and use a soft brush to paint erotic love strokes on his chest, trunk, back...and anywhere that leaves him panting...tickling...and begging for more!
Arrange for a soft feather and let the playful touch therapy make him lose his senses to you. Men can use the feather to give a sensuous foot massage to their lady love and watch her writhe with pleasure. Or use it on her navel to turn her to new heights of pleasure.
5. Erotica: Forget those erotic movies and check out the nearest book store for sensuous erotica. Listening to your girl reading out pleasure commentary of another couple in action will be a sure shot stimulus for you to put your mind in active mode. "Reading erotica can be a very powerful trigger to fire-up passion.
While it is true that majority of women would rather read erotica and the majority of men would prefer watching it, erotic stories can stir desire and heighten arousal in both genders. Just reading erotica can help you explore your boundaries in a safe and comfortable way," explains sexologist Shivi Jaggi. What more...make her sit in your lap and read, while you can transform her words into hot action! What say?
6. Mirror magic: Of course a full size mirror is a great help while dressing-up. But how about adding a sexual twist? The next time you are making out, position yourself in front of a full size mirror and watch each other undress and indulge in wild moves. The result is bound to be far more rewarding.
Place the mirror strategically in front of the bed and be an audience to your own sexapades, just like 38 year-old, Bhaskar Mahendroo does. "I just love watching me and my partner make out in the mirror. I started the practice four years ago when boredom and monotony had gripped my sexual life, and it worked...it brought an element of voyeuristic adventure and we enjoy it a lot," he claims.
7. Sexy surprises: Anything as sudden like a lustful quickie in the bath tub or an unannounced love note claiming, "You win to undress me tonight!" is a great passion booster. Taking your lover by surprise is a rewarding experience. Tuck in a love note that says – 'get a six on the love dice and you win to live your most cherished sexual fantasy', will simply take your beau to seventh heaven. It's all about how good are you at imagining...wilder the better!
8. Musical mirage: "Music has the prowess to power your bedroom with the right ambience required to stimulate passion and fervour into your love arena," says sexologist Shivi Jaggi. Begin with matching steps on your favourite love song, mind you—distance not allowed here, so get real close. Keep cuddling and pampering each other till you can't resist one another.
We assure you it won't take long before you hit the bed. Some provocative songs we suggest are: Boyz II Men's I'll make love to you , Peabo Bryson and Roberta Flack's Tonight I celebrate my love , Savage Garden's - Truly madly deeply and Celine Dion's My heart will go on.
9. Sex toys & lubricants: These are handy nick-knacks in the love game. "A high quality lubricant adds a whole new dimension to the sensations you experience during a sex session. To play it safe, stick to water based lubes wherever possible," suggests Dr. S.K Rai. And if you are thinking that sex toys are meant only for solo fun...think again! All you need to do is use your imagination and they'll come handy when you are eyeing at some fun strokes together.
10. Erotic edibles: Not in the bedroom, but in the fridge for sure! We suggest that you keep your fridge stocked with food that's not just delectable to eat, but yummier to play with. Creams, yogurts, jams, jellies, sauces, ice-creams, honey etc. taste even better when you lick them on your partner's hot bod. Not just this, they are tried and tested aphrodisiacs as well. You can even hand feed each other to get the love feast started.
A note of advice: To keep these love essentials away from the prying eyes of the other inmates of your home, especially kids (if any), keep them tucked away in a 'treasure chest'. Not only will it be fun to fill it...but exciting as well...as you put each of your collectibles to the best use possible! So, keep collecting and keep loving!

Single women prefer dogs to men

2009-10-13T00:39:00.000+05:30

Single women would rather prefer the company of a dog than men, according to experts.

Sydney Petcare owner Richard Durant said that more and more single women in Australia were in favour of the four-legged loyal and reliable companion.

"In the past year 60 per cent of our new business has come from young single women. It''s a growing trend I''ve noticed over the last few years. These are women who live busy lives," The Courier Mail quoted him as saying.

"They want company when they get home. In many cases you''ll find the dog sleeps in their bedroom, and even in bed with them," he added.

Dogs New South Wales President Dr. Peter Higgins nodded in agreement.

He said: "The fastest growing segment of dog owners in the inner city is young single women. It''s almost like a child substitute. They lead busy lives and they''re not in a relationship. That''s why dogs like Maltese terriers, which are the second most popular dog in Australia and the most popular dog in Sydney, are popular - they''re little and they have human-like features."

Australian Companion Animal Council President Dr. Kersti Seksel attempted to explain the preference.

She said: "If you live alone, having a dog as a companion to come home to is often more appealing than a flatmate. Owning a dog increases the feeling of safety and security."

Older women still enjoy healthy sex life

2009-10-13T00:23:00.000+05:30

While it said that women become less sexually active as they get older, a new study has found that a large number of women aged 60 and above still enjoy a healthy sex life.

Dr. Alison J. Huang, of the University of California at San Francisco, studied 1977 racially and ethnically women, aged 45 to 80 years old.

She and her colleagues found that 43 per cent of women, overall, said that their interest in or desire to have sex was "moderate to very high" over the past three months, while 60 per cent reported some sexual activity in the previous three months.

Among those in the age group 65 and older, 28 per cent reported at least moderate interest in sex during the past three months, and nearly 37 per cent had engaged in sexual activity during that time, reports The Age.

Fifty-seven per cent said they were at least moderately sexually satisfied.

The study also showed that women who were sexually inactive were more likely to be satisfied with their sex lives if they were older.

Among those not sexually active, 39 per cent reported lack of interest, 36 pct reported lack of a partner,

Nearly 23pct mentioned their partners'' physical problems, and 11pct reported their partners'' lack of interest in sex.

Only about 9 per cent of the women said that their own physical problems were the cause.

In addition, being married or living with a partner more than tripled a woman''s likelihood of having sex at least weekly.

The chances of having weekly sexual activity also rose with a woman''s scores on tests of mental and physical health.

The findings have appeared in the Journal of the American Geriatrics Society.

Now, hypnotism for breast enhancement!

2009-10-12T23:49:00.000+05:30

Stage hypnotist David Knight claims that he can make women’s boobs bigger .
The hypnotherapist, of North Allerton, North Yorks, says all women need to do to get bigger breasts is to listen to his CD and he is so confident that he offers a money-back guarantee.
In the CD, he tells listeners: "Your breasts are growing... growing larger now." He claims an 85 per cent success rate - with almost half those who try it going up by one or more cup sizes.
Knight claims his words can help induce women to firm up boobs and correct lopsidedness. "Every lady’s breasts have been grown by the mind, the mind grows it, and so the mind can enhance it. Fact," the Sun quoted Knight as saying.
However, his claims and CD have been rubbished on a BBC show about how easy it is to register as a hypnotherapist. Knight said: "They could’ve tried it before saying it categorically didn’t work."
The hypnotherapist, of North Allerton, North Yorks, says all women need to do to get bigger breasts is to listen to his CD and he is so confident that he offers a money-back guarantee.
In the CD, he tells listeners: "Your breasts are growing... growing larger now." He claims an 85 per cent success rate - with almost half those who try it going up by one or more cup sizes.
Knight claims his words can help induce women to firm up boobs and correct lopsidedness. "Every lady’s breasts have been grown by the mind, the mind grows it, and so the mind can enhance it. Fact," the Sun quoted Knight as saying.
However, his claims and CD have been rubbished on a BBC show about how easy it is to register as a hypnotherapist.
Knight said: "They could’ve tried it before saying it categorically didn’t work."

7 point guide to sexual bliss

2009-10-11T02:15:00.002+05:30

as your sexual regime reached a dead end? Feeling bored? Follow our seven step sexual guide and feel your lost libido recharged

1. Change your sexual routine
Analyse your sexual regimen. Is it highly predictable? Is it more of a race to reach an orgasm? If so then perhaps you are in the midst of a sexual rut. So, get up and try breaking the sexual norm by doing the opposite of what you normally do. If you're having sex in darkness, try it in the morning or in the afternoon. If you're always getting down and dirty in the bedroom, enjoy a quickie on the kitchen counter or under the shower. If your man is always on top, surprise him by taking charge. Change your sexual POA to inject freshness into your sex life.

2. Show him the booty
It's not always a great idea to sashay around the house in sexy lingerie and killer heels if you want an instant arousal in your man. Why don't you surprise him by doing the dusting totally naked wearing a sexy G-string or indulge in some sexy shopping together. Men are turned on by what they see - so show him.

3. Make enough time
While sex is supposed to be spontaneous, unbridled passion, the pressure of jobs, children, and managing domestic chores leaves us with no time for sex. Try to give him hints that you are looking forward to a romp. Send suggestive and naughty texts and emails throughout the day. Spontaneity is a great mood builder and the anticipation and build up of something planned can be lots of fun.

4. Look back...
Remember the early days when you were in the first throes of lust when it was hard to keep your hands of each other? Most couples remember their initial years with affectionate nostalgia, so try and recreate those memories. Plan a nice dinner, reminisce about the first time you saw each other, what attracted you initially, and your first date. Recall the sexual connection, the pet names, personal jokes. Put on some sensuous music and dance around your living room to the song you first danced to. Recreate the thrill of having sex by doing it somewhere you might get caught! You share a rich history, so indulge in it a little - those that do are the couples that stay connected.

5. It's good to talk
Never sleep with anger within you. The unwritten rule of a great relationship is to really talk. Be open and honest. Talk about things you don't like in each other, irritating habbits. But remember to discuss the positive traits too - communicate what's important in your relationship; simply talking about why you love each other can help keep the passion alive.

6. Retain the mystery
A little bit of mystery adds spark to your love life. Sometimes when you are living with each other for years, you get too comfortable with each other and tend to be yourself with your partner. So keep the mystery alive and add some spice to your relationship.

7. Indulge your senses
Turn your bedroom into an erotic boudoir by adding loads of silk, satin sheets and colours that make you feel sexy. Cook aphrodisiacal meals together with naughty ingredients that really s-excite the taste buds, or share a candlelit bath with fragrant bubbles and scented oils. Make the time to indulge your senses and you'll soon your libido replenished.
Source: timesofindia.indiatimes.com

Hot 'take-charge' tips for her

2009-10-11T02:09:00.000+05:30

Gone are the days when only men did the chasing and women pretended to be coy. Here are some sexy take-charge tips for the woman who knows what she wants and isn’t shy about it.

In these express times, things need to move at express speed. If you are really keen on that guy living in the building opposite yours and can’t wait to be overwhelmed by waves of passion, try these naughty take-charge tips to shake up your sex life. Why do you want him to make the first move – we believe in equality right?

Load his iPod or MP3 Player
Download racy tracks onto your partner's iPod. Next time he's looking at his playlist, he'll notice a new addition - and titled 'Hot tunes from me', he won't hesitate to hit the 'play' button really fast.

Here are some suggestions:

I Got a Geeling by Black Eyed Peas
There She Goes by The La’s
Two Princes by Spin Doctors
Ego by Beyoncè
U R a Fever by The Kills
Wicked Game by Chris Isaak
Oops (Oh My) by Tweet
The Fixer by Pearl Jam
Timeless Melody by The La’s
Sexy MF by Prince and The New Power Generation
I Touch Myself by The Divinyls
Erotica by Madonna
Je T'aime...Moi Non Plus by Serge Gainsbourg
Turn Me On by Norah Jones
Sexy Back by Justin Timberlake

Be vocal
On the phone, be as imaginative as you would want to. It needn’t be all talk and no action. If you're brave enough, you can indulge in a seriously naughty adventure for two.

The rules

• Make the call when you won't be interrupted and check that he's not going to be busy, either.
• Make sure your surroundings are as pleasant and comfortable as possible. Warmth, candlelight and perfume sprayed in the air will help create the right atmosphere.
• Sit or lie somewhere completely private and comfortable.

The action

• Start slowly and seductively telling him exactly what you're not wearing.
• Keep your voice breathy and sexy.
• Be truthful. Tell it like you're really feeling it.
• If you're missing your partner, let him know. If there are things that you wish he was doing to you, make sure you voice them as graphically as possible.
• If there are things he'd like to have done to him, tell him exactly how you'd do them.

Evocative text
Send steamy SMS suggestions - he'll be so hot for you before he's had a chance to hit 'reply'...

• U know those sexy, black lace knickers of mine? Not wearing them
• I've been watching a dirty movie and I'm feeling inspired...
• Satin sheets or cotton? Can't decide which feels better
• Bought a new scarf 2day. Need U to tell me how it looks... around my eyes

Fail proof text

• Check for typos before hitting 'send'.
• Pace it. Too long between texts and you lose momentum. Too fast and you lose anticipation. Just like sex itself, really...

Source:timesofindia.indiatimes.com

To spice up sex life try Outercourse

2009-10-09T22:50:00.000+05:30

People who do not want to go all the way to sexual intercourse can still be more sexual and even more orgasmic with what sex experts call an "outercourse".
Outercourse is the umbrella term for any kind of sex play that doesn't involve oral or traditional sex, but still manage to offer sexual gratification for lovers involved in the act.
It's ideal in minimizing the spread of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and the risk of pregnancy, reports Fox News.
However, the method is not completely foolproof, as it depends on how much clothing people keep on.
Outercourse allows lovemaking to last longer, and couples are given the opportunity to soak in more of what the sexual experience is about.
Partners may feel closer and more connected with each other and themselves, while for new lovers, it allows them to build trust while feeling sexually connected.
For older, experienced lovers, outercourse can hurl them back in time, helping them to reclaim the thrill of the forbidden nature of sex.
Outercourse embodies a number of sexual activities, including:
Erotic Talk - Whether in the boudoir, over the phone, via text or online, lovers can catapult each other to a carnal cosmos with some lascivious lingo.
Sensual Storytelling - Between reading sexy stories and looking at erotica, lovers can entertain themselves for hours while playing with their own hot spots.
Role-Playing - By sharing fantasies, lovers can pick and choose their preferred real-life passion pursuits.
Erotic Massage - Lovers work every part of the body with scintillating sexual touch.
Kissing - Suck face and grope each other like teenagers, eventually showering your lover's entire body with kisses.
Cybersex - Via instant messaging, E-mail, Internet chatrooms, or cyberspace forums, lovers can have tech sex of all types. Maximum satisfaction is realized in how much you choose to touch yourself versus your keyboard.
Strip Teases - Give your lover his or her own private viewing, being sure to conclude your routine with some lush lip action and titillating touches.
Sexual Enhancement Products - Sex toys were practically made for outercourse. Offering variety, experimentation, and hours of entertainment, lovers can explore each other's bodies as they tap all of their senses.
Mutual Masturbation - Pleasure yourself for your partner's pleasure or erotically massage each other's bodies at the same time or take turns stimulating the other.
Dry sex - Lovers can rub up against each other to no end, stimulating each other into oblivion.

How to have great four play

2009-10-09T22:49:00.000+05:30

According to reports this week, new lovers aren't the ones getting the most knee trembling action. On the contrary, long-term couples are having most fun in the sack, according to recent stats, reports The Sun.
A survey by Phillips intimate massagers found that couples who have been together for four years and two months are the most confident they have ever been when it comes to sex.
Two thirds of couples agreed that the longer you have been together, the more intimate your relationship becomes and one in twenty even suggested sex got better as long as 15 years down the line, as stated in The Sun magazine.
The poll, of 3,000 couples in long term relationships also found that the average British couple has sex once a week, and it lasts typically 29 minutes.
Here we speak to sexpert Simone Bienne for the low down on getting the loving you want, whatever stage of your relationship.
"Finally, a piece of research that tells it like it really is," she said.
"As a whole, we've started to think about sex on an entirely different level - and this research is evidence of this.
"Back in the nineties we were focusing purely on sex as performance related - meaning we just saw it as a physical act.
"But actually the best sex is multi dimensional.
"Emotional, mentally, spiritually and physically stimulating. The closer you are with your partner - the more you know them, and how to stimulate each other.
So why, if sex is never as good, do most of us have more of it when we've just met someone?
"At the beginning of a relationship your body is giving you a love cocktail of chemicals called PEA.
"This is evolution's way of carrying on the human race - because it makes us go at it like rabbits.
"After about 18 months, it wears off - but this means you have work out how else you get stimulated.
"You begin to see sex as something more important - emotionally and physically.
"Gwyneth Paltrow summed it up recently when she said on a chat show that she hated the first year of a relationship.
"As she put it, we all have a basic need to feel secure - before this time, it's hard to imagine a man still loving us without our regular bikini waxes or perfect makeup.
"It's the unconditional love of a long term relationship that makes us totally uninhibited and allows us to really enjoy sex - as we feel loved on more than a physical level.
"There is so many pieces of research that show couples in 40s, 50s and 60s are happier sexually than those in the twenties - its all down to security."
But does this make the idea of a quick fumble or one night stand as a way of releasing sexual tension entirely defunct - and should any of us really be indulging in it?

An orgasm a day keeps illnesses away

2009-10-09T22:40:00.000+05:30

Women who regularly have orgasms are more energetic and suffer fewer illnesses than females who are left wanting more after sex sessions, says a new research.
According to a team from the Women''s Health programme in Australia, females who rate their sex lives highly have more vitality and a better psychological outlook than those who have sex less than twice a month.
Researchers analysed sex lives of almost 300 females aged from 20 to 65 to reach the conclusion.
Lead researcher Dr Sonia Davison, of the Women''s Health Program at Monash University, Australia, said: "We found that women who were sexually dissatisfied had lower well-being and vitality.
"This finding highlights the importance of addressing these areas as an essential part of healthcare, because women may be uncomfortable discussing these issues with their doctor."
As over 90 percent of women in the study reported their sexual activity involved a partner, and was initiated by the partner at least 50 percent of the time, the sexual activity of the women may have been affected by partner presence (or absence), partner health, and sexual function, which were not addressed in the study.
"The fact that women who self-identified as being dissatisfied maintained the level of sexual activity reported most likely represents established behaviour and partner expectation," said Professor Susan Davis, senior author of this study, also based at the Women''s Health Program at Monash University, Australia.
It also reinforces the fact that frequency of sexual activity in women cannot be employed as a reliable indicator of sexual well-being," the expert added.
Sexual medicine expert Dr Irwin Goldstein said: "This emphasises the role and importance of sexual health in women''s overall health and well-being."
The study has been published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine.

'Sexercise' for that slim figure

2009-10-09T22:39:00.000+05:30

Forget treadmills, long walks and Atkins diet, an expert has come up with a new way of staying in shape-and it has nothing to do with cutting out on carbs - it's indulging in plenty of sex.
Yes, you heard it right, "sexercise" makes a person slimmer - if you do enough of it. Combining sex and fitness is like killing two birds with one stone. Sex gets you fit. And being fit makes you want to have more sex. This is, in large part, because of all of the benefits a good sexercise routine offers, like: improved blood flow in strengthening your heart, better cholesterol, changing more of your bad cholesterol (LDL) to good cholesterol (HDL), weight control, better sleep and greater energy, including longer life and a better quality of life.
According to Fox News, women, in particular, feel more attractive with sexual fitness, since they produce more estrogen. This makes for shinier, smoother hair. Both sexes glow as their skin pores become cleansed, thanks to sweating. They feel sexier than ever. But how do you start this sexercise routine? Well, sex educator Dr.Yvonne Kristín Fulbright has come to your rescue.
Get a physical if you haven't in a while . While it may be laughable to do this, you're going to be physically active, accelerating your heart rate, pulse, and blood pressure. You're also going to be testing and developing your strength, stamina, and flexibility. As with any form of exercise, you need to make sure that you're good to go. Aim for half-hour romps 3-5 times a week. This may seem like a lot, but this is actually not very time-consuming. Consider the amount of time you put into your favorite TV show.
Remind yourself of the rewards. Sex for 30 minutes burns anywhere from 15-350 calories, depending on how physically active you are. This is the equivalent of calories burned during a half an hour of brisk walking,
running, or lifting weights. Vigorous or longer sex sessions five times per week can burn up to 1,650
calories! The active partner - typically the one on top - tends to burn more.
Don't lose focus. You can easily get distracted with all of sex's delights. But your goal is to make it burn. In a matter of weeks, you can notice improvements in the tone and strength of your stomach, back, buttocks, legs and arms.
Aim for variety. Your sexercise routine doesn't have to be routine. You can't take it for granted that sexercising won't be boring, at least not in the same way as your treadmill. So get creative.
Watch what you eat . Also maintain moderate exercise out of the bedroom. Take care of each other post-workout. After working up a good sweat, you'll have to hit the shower.

Condoms may soon be history

2009-10-09T22:33:00.001+05:30

It may be time for men to split the contraceptive burden with women, for Scottish scientists have come up with a new pill that Bum jabsdrastically reduces sperm count in men.
Professor Richard Anderson, from Edinburgh University, is on the look out for men willing to try the revolutionary hormone injections, containing progesterone and testosterone, to be given in the bum every two months.
The researcher believes that the contraceptive treatment works better than condoms and is as effective as the female pill. "If this trial is successful I imagine there would be interest in looking at marketing the injection as a male contraceptive,” the Sun quoted Anderson as saying.
“The surveys we have done have been very positive and particularly positive from women. A lot of women who have taken on the reproductive and contraceptive burden think it's maybe time men took their turn. Even if not all men would be keen on an injection, there would definitely be a market to make such a treatment available," he added.
Anderson further said that no serious side-effects had been predicted from the year-long trial, run by the World Health Organisation. The effects of the injections were also assured to be fully reversible.
A spokesman from the Family Planning Association said: "It is important that research continues to try to give men more contraceptive choice. But it is crucial that any new contraceptive is rigorously tested to make sure that it is incredibly safe and effective."

How to spice up love life

2009-10-08T19:52:00.002+05:30

Bored with your sex life? Well, then sensate-focused sex is the name of the game for you.

The nice, slow lovemaking where all you do is focus on your sensations, is the new mantra to renew your sex life as you rediscover each other.

Sensate-focused sex exercises involve a series of behavioural practices, which offer variety and increased personal awareness through basic touch.

Originally developed by sex researchers Drs. William Masters and Virginia Johnson, sensate focus exercises involve each partner paying increased attention to their own sensations when stimulated.

Particularly for couples in sex therapy, the exercises have helped lovers to overcome issues like performance anxiety, rapid ejaculation, lack of orgasm and erectile dysfunction.

The benefits of sensate focus include, discovering new types of touch, spine-tingling sensations, increased comfort with physical intimacy, better awareness of your lover''s body, as well as your own.

Apart from these, going for such exercises can help couples to strengthen their relationship, and also guarantees no fear of failure, better sex communication, and heightened sexual excitement.

With such non-demands and pleasuring exercises, couples do not make sex goal-oriented, instead, they enjoy the experience of being with one another, touching and feeling each other''s bodies.

These highly structured touch activities are about enjoying physical contact to the fullest without trying to arouse each other and should not be mistaken as a form of foreplay, because it is the main experience in itself.

Done in several stages over time, they are tailor-made to a couple''s specific issues when working with a sex therapist, reports Fox News.

Couples in therapy are usually advised to abstain from having intercourse while focusing on the physical sensations triggered during sensate play.

This not only alleviates anxiety and mental distractions that lead to sexual difficulties, but also offer up a greater awareness of the wide range of stimuli that encompass all of the senses.

The rules for sensate focus sex are:

1. Breasts and genitals are off limits for the first few sessions.

2. Verbal feedback is limited unless you''re uncomfortable or in pain.

3. Do not try to elicit sexual response (but don''t sweat it if it happens).

4. After each session, be sure to process the experience.

Four secrets of amazing sex revealed

2009-10-08T16:36:00.002+05:30

Want to have a rocking bedroom life with your partner? Well, a new book that can unlock your passion potential might just be of great help.
‘The 4 Secrets of Amazing Sex’, by Georgia Foster and Beverley Anne Foster, talks about body as well as mind, when it comes to sex.
“We focus on the mind as much as the body,” the Sun quoted Georgia as said.
"It’s not a book about sexual positions. Anyone can have sex, but to have amazing sex, your mind needs to be participating,” Georgia added.
The four secrets of amazing sex are:
Seduction
“The first secret deals with how to sustain a heady passion with your partner. Most people assume they need to be seduced to feel sexy – wrong! We first create the desire in our own mind. It’s your responsibility to understand what turns you on. It’s about taking notice of how you are feeling – not expecting a partner to immediately trigger sexual feeling.”
Sensation
“The second secret is all about the six senses. Absorb the energy between you and your partner, as well as remembering smell, touch, sound and taste. The six senses are often overlooked in our busy lives, but without them sex is dull.”
Surrender
“The third secret is when you feel safe to surrender to your partner and have sex. Thanks to secrets one and two, your mind is ready and your senses alive. You need to feel you want to be there and your mind is present to feel connected to your partner.”
Reflection
“If you’ve had fun with the first three secrets, reflection is about looking back on the experience and feeling you want to do it all again. If the experience is bad, people will look back on it negatively and may avoid a repeat performance and lack confidence.”

Are you addicted to sex?

2009-10-08T16:30:00.004+05:30

Upon hearing the words ‘sex addiction’, people often connect it with a person, usually a man, who has an incessant need to make sexual conquests, but a true definition for the term is yet to be ascertained.

The topic is extremely controversial, and even experts are not able to agree whether sexual addiction is a true addiction, with two researchers publishing in 1998 an article entitled ''Sexual addiction: many conceptions, minimal data''.

Dr. Erick Janssen, the Director of Education & Research Training at The Kinsey Institute, explained in an email that there is no accepted definition for the term.

"We do not have a generally accepted definition of 'sex addiction.' It was originally approached as involving some kind of ''inability to adequately control sexual behaviour,'' but this is, as you can tell, not a very objective definition," CBS News quoted him as writing.

"According to some, sexual addiction seems in the eye of the beholder, or in the eyes of his or her therapist," he stated.

Mavis Humes Baird, an addictions treatment specialist, is convinced that sexual addiction is a true disorder because people are in the throws of an impulse they can''t control, and that there are underlying changes in the brain that cannot be addressed by psychotherapy alone.

"For example, if one of the partners in a couple is having affairs and they're not a sex addict, marriage counselling or family therapy is very effective. But if they're a sex addict, all the therapy in the world getting at problems in the relationship won't touch the addiction," she said.

"One of the primary referral sources for sex addiction is couples counsellors who have been doing attachment work with couples for years with the addiction going on unaffected and sometimes kept secret for all those years.

"You can''t treat the sex problems between the partners until the addiction is treated. And that''s done by a combination of specific treatment protocols, and 12-step program involvement, and sometimes medication," she said.

But Baird also said that it is not listed in the current version of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-IV), and that there's a struggle about whether it will be included in the next edition.

Dr. Herbert Kleber, a professor of Psychiatry at Columbia University Medical Center, where he is the Director of the Division on Substance Abuse, has provided another view.

"Is it an addiction? I'm convinced gambling is an addiction but am agnostic about sexual addiction. Once you let one of them in the door do you let in shopaholics, kleptomaniacs, etcetera? Where do you draw the line?" he said.

Dr. Janssen agrees with Dr. Kleber's scepticism-on there not being prevalent statistics on sexual addiction.

"There are no reliable prevalence statistics on sexual addiction. That is, it has not been measured in representative samples of men and women. A few studies in non-representative samples have concluded that it could involve 5-10 percent of the adult population," he said.

"Most sex researchers prefer to not use that term, instead relying on terms like 'sexual compulsivity' or 'sexual impulsivity' to reflect people's experiences and actual behaviours," he added.

How kissing boosts sexual satisfaction

2009-10-08T16:23:00.001+05:30

When it comes to sexual satisfaction, kissing may be the perfect way to begin with. Kissing is rated as one of the most romantic acts a couple can engage in, reports Fox News.

Two people can exchange a great deal of information when their lips meet; it's a major mate assessment tool, often making or breaking how far things will go in a sexual situation.

Here's what a kiss can do:

1. Promote sexual access - Males in particular use it as a way to seduce romantic partners.

2. Induce bonding - Making out is a sign of commitment, especially in the unconscious willingness to risk contracting illness or death.

3. Show your genuine desire and love for another.

4. Invite reconciliation, helping lovers to reunite after a fight.

5. Trigger sexual desire with the exchange of testosterone.

6. Spike dopamine in the brain, which is associated with romantic love.

7. Cause sexual excitement, which may increase levels of oxytocin in both men and women.

Males who serenade females get more sex

2009-10-07T02:54:00.002+05:30

Females of an Asian species of water strider keep their genitalia hidden to avoid any forceful copulation attempts, and expose them only after males produce a courtship "song" by tapping the water surface, according to a study.

The study by Chang Seok Han and Piotr Jablonski at Seoul National University, Korea, found that females evolve a morphological shield to protect their genitalia from an approaching male.

It is already known that the mechanisms for the way Darwinian natural selection, acts separately on males and females, result in different traits in males than in females.

However, at times, a behavioural trait, such as mating frequency, depends on both the male and the female characteristics.

In many animals, including humans, natural selection favours higher mating frequency in males than in females, which leads to an evolutionary "arms race" where males evolve adaptations that force females to mate, while females evolve defences against males'' attempts.

In the study, it was observed that females of an Asian species of water striders, Gerris gracilicornis, win the evolutionary race by evolving a morphological shield behind which their genitalia are hidden from males, protecting them against the males'' forceful attempts to mate.

Thus, in response to the female adaptation, after the violent mounting onto the female''s back (typical in water striders), males of this species produce courtship signals by tapping the water surface with their middle legs.

And only after receiving the male''s "song" that the females expose their genitalia for copulation.

The study has been published in the open-access, peer-reviewed journal PLoS one.

Women like to target men who are in relationships

2009-10-07T02:36:00.001+05:30

A scientific study has found evidence that women like to target men who are already in relationships.

Researchers at Oklahoma State University in the US use the term 'mate poaching' to describe this phenomenon.

During the study, they showed a picture of a moderately attractive man or woman to participants.

Half of the participants were told that the prospective mate was single, while the rest were told that they were not.

Researchers Dr Melissa Burkley and Jessica Parker observed that 90 per cent of the women participants were interested in a man when told that he was in a relationship, compared to 59 per cent when told the same man was single.

"This finding indicates that single women are considerably more interested in pursuing a man who is less available to them," the Telegraph quoted them as concluding.

"This may be because a man who is attached has already shown his ability to commit and, in a sense, has been pre-screened by another woman," they added.

The researchers also noted that men, on the other hand, expressed no preference about whether a woman was in a relationship or not.

"The results showed that only single women were more interested in pursuing an attached target rather than a single target," they said.

A research article describing the study has been published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology.

Secrets of great sex at all ages

2009-10-06T02:05:00.003+05:30

Loved crazy positions in your twenties, tried dress-up in your thirties and joined the mile-high club in your forties?

Then you are not alone. On our sexual journeys, the majority of us will try out different turn-ons in the quest for a perfect sex life through the ages.
And, according to sexpert Tracey Cox, our beside manner trends are pretty standard all over the country.
Here, we look at her findings on sex at different stages of our lives, taken from the bestselling book, Sextasy. He can't stop thinking about sex
Eighty-five per cent of 20- to 30-year-old men think about sex every couple of hours.
She's had same-sex fantasies or been bi-curious. Imagining what it would be like to make love to another woman is nearly always one of the top three female fantasies.
Statistically only 4 per cent of women tick the 'had a lesbian experience' box in surveys but in my experience, it's way, way higher than that.
There's plenty of incentive: A 2006 study of nearly 2000 people discovered that 76 per cent of women who slept with women reached orgasm (for women with men, you are pushing it at 50 per cent).
Lesbians are also the least promiscuous group and consistently report the highest sexual satisfaction.
Almost everyone's tried 'The Wheelbarrow'
This is the age and stage where most of us experiment with positions - the more athletic and bonkers - the better!
About one in 10 people have had a threesome And most of you did it in your early twenties.
Threesomes and moresomes aren't quite as common as you think.
The majority of people who've had them try them once or twice, then go back to one-on-one sex.
The less you know the people involved, the more likely you are to see it as a positive experience. It's also likely that you'll visit a strip club or lapdancing club - with your friends but increasingly often with your partner - at some point in your 20s.
Almost all of you have had sex outside
A throwback from our teens - when we did most of our sexual experimentation behind the bike shed, in the bushes, or in the back of a car - most of us will have sex somewhere semi-public in our thirties.
Under the cover of darkness in a park, on a beach, or in your own garden are the top choices.
Sex in the shower and sex in a hot tub is also popular.
Some of you will try bondage, blindfolds and spanking
Around 20 per cent of thirty-year-olds spice up their sex life with this kind of thing in your thirties
Either you or your partner have had your hands tied together to a chair or four-poster bed on a dirty weekend away.
Lots will continue to enjoy tying each other up but only 5 to 10 per cent of the population will go on to more serious S&M.

Clear the air about first time sex

2009-10-06T01:39:00.000+05:30

The first time you have sex, it’s not all smooth sailing. In fact, many fears are attached to it. Dr Mahinder Watsa tells you what to expect (and what not to expect) the first time you get intimate with someone.

There’ll be many a slip

Everybody wants their first time to be perfect. Some even envision it to be some kind of fairytale moment. Nothing wrong with that, but one should know that there could be slip-ups, all the same. The man often wishes intercourse to last longer, but if he achieves orgasm early (presumably due to a rush of excitement), it is okay! Some may even fail to achieve an erection and in that moment of disappointment, label themselves as not being ‘up to the mark’. If that is what you think, it is a big mistake. You can always end the session with ample foreplay. If things don’t go as planned in the very first time, there’s always a second time. If a man can achieve an erection during masturbation, he is normal. So just relax and go with the flow.

Yes, it hurts, but wait

For women, the first time can be a little painful, but hang on. It’s not the pain that they must dread. In most cases, the pain is almost like that of finger prick. However, it’s the fear of pain that makes things worse. The hype surrounding the pain often induces fear in women, resulting in spasms at the slightest touch. This is where it is important for the partner to step in. Firstly, ensure she feels comfortable with you. Ample foreplay is a must to get the vagina lubricated. Start with inserting a finger to rupture the hymen,
and then slowly, proceed towards intercourse. The key is to take it slow.

Bleeding? Maybe. Maybe not

That a woman must bleed during her first intercourse is undoubtedly the most misguided notion people harbour. The bleeding occurs when the hymen splits. However, why is it so difficult to understand that the same hymen which is considered a mark of virginity by many men can also split due to other reasons? Rigorous exercises such as cycling can split the hymen. In some cases, it may even be congenitally absent. The hymen can also rupture, when women masturbate. Bleeding, or no bleeding, the fact that you are close enough to your partner to get sexually intimate demands you also put a certain level of trust in her. Doubts, if any, should be cleared right in the beginning, and not in the bed.

Contraception can fail

One wrong move is enough to invite unwanted pregnancy. Don’t rely on withdrawal method or the safe days of the woman’s menstrual cycle. Unmarried couples must use condoms. If marriage is around the corner, the woman can visit her gynaecologist a month before the wedding. The doctor will put her on oral contraceptives, safe enough to see the couple through the honeymoon phase. Later, the couple can consult the gynaecologist and select the contraceptive method that suits them the best.

It will get messy

When body fluids are exchanged, it can get quite messy. But there are no two ways about it. Either you do it, or you don’t. So don’t fret too much about unwanted stains and keep an extra sheet handy.

Women drink before sex to gain confidence

2009-10-05T01:39:00.000+05:30

Millions of British women indulge in boozing before having sex - because they lack confidence in their bodies, a study of 3,000 females has revealed.
Researchers examining the link between sexual habits and alcohol consumption found that half preferred sex after a tipple.
Women said alcohol helped them lose their inhibitions and become more adventurous between the sheets, reports The Daily Express.
Kathryn Lakeland of Femfresh, which carried out the study, said: “These results are a clear indication that British women today are severely lacking in confidence.
“Whilst many women claim they only drink before sex because it is part of the dating process, a large percentage will actually refuse to get between the sheets without a bit of Dutch courage.

“But in doing so many women will be losing self control and this is when drunken one-night stands are more likely to occur.”

Intelligent women have the best sex lives

2009-10-05T01:32:00.000+05:30

Want to hit the big O with your bloke more often? Then why not try meditation or saying hello to people more?
According to recent research, more intelligent women have the best sex lives, reports The Sun.
But forget complicated algebra or getting your head round Chaucer's Canterbury Tales - the key for steamier sessions lies in mastering emotional intelligence.
It refers to the way we manage our built-in personality and our general emotional state, as stated in The Sun.
The findings stem from a study of 2,000 female twins who were surveyed on their sex and personal life.
It showed that those with high levels of EI had more orgasms and a more enjoyable sex life.
But why does this happen and how can we make it work for us?, here explains The Sun.
Here we speak to psychologist Jo Maddocks and sexpert Susan Quilliam for a guide on channelling your emotions to improve your sex life.
"Everyone is born with a capacity for high levels of emotional intelligence, but this can change as we go through our general life, depending on what happens to us," explains Jo.
"We may lose touch with our emotions because they become too hard to address, stemming from our past experiences.
"We can then start to use coping methods preventing us thinking about them - such as getting angry, or staying quiet and bottling everything up - methods that can become addictive.
"These mechanisms are then often used to deal with anything in our lives - including sex."
"Building bad attitudes can also directly impact our relationships with other people too," Jo continues.
"A negative attitude, poor body language and extreme reactions can shape the way people treat us too (even sexual partners) - making us feel even more isolated and troubled.
"It is acknowledging the emotions and stopping them from ruling our behaviour that gives us emotional intelligence."
Small changes
"The key is to make small changes to our behaviour, rather than attempt to overhaul our whole personality," explains Jo.
"If you feel ignored or left out at work, for example, try saying hello to colleagues everyday as they walk in to gain a sense of belonging.
"If you find yourself getting extremely emotional, try acknowledging your feelings before they escalate into this.
"Making small behavioural changes can really help you regain control throughout your life."
Having control of our emotions not only means being calmer and happier, it also means feelings won't get in the way of our sex lives, says sexpert Susan Quilliam.
"There's a whole variety of ways that emotions can affect your sexuality," says Susan.
"Anxious people often can't let go enough to orgasm.
"While those with anger problems, while sometimes ravenous for sex, can become so adamant on controlling their anger they stop feeling sexy.
"If we have control, we tend to feel confident and proud of ourselves, meaning our sex lives benefit.
"And, as Jo explained, higher emotional intelligence means better relationships with others, which also applies in the bedroom too.
"If we are more willing to trust in bed, then again sex is going to be better.
"It's a virtuous circle."

How to endure a sex marathon

2009-10-04T01:14:00.000+05:30

Not very often does one get the opportunity to spend extended lovemaking time with their lover, but when such rare occasion does arise one should make it a point to keep it enjoyable as well as enduring.

Enduring a sex marathon can take a few hours or longer if the situation demands it, and many times it could go all night.

Thus, to keep oneself in good form, even the most virile and energetic must rest and rejuvenate, reports Fox News.

Before embarking on your sex marathon, it is better to be well-fed (but not too well) with food that releases energy slowly (such as grains and low GI carbohydrates) and be well hydrated.

And here are some tips on enduring a sex marathon:

Don''t orgasm

You can do this by choosing positions that provide less stimulation - because everyone is different, only you will know what these are for you. Change positions if you feel like you''re losing the power of your drive and erection or getting too close to orgasm. Bear in mind that having an orgasm isn''t the end of the session and you can take a rest before you continue. This is a good time to experiment with positions that you may not have tried with your partner.

Pleasure her to keep the focus off of you

If you do happen to need a rest while enduring a sex marathon or you do orgasm, you can easily shift the focus off of you and onto her. This can include cuddling, fondling, massage, general touching, and kissing. A rest does not have to be totally sexual in nature, and it is just as nice to make love for hours as it is to just touch each other in nice ways - or invent new ways of loving.

Don''t drink too much

Alcohol is known to be a relaxant and can be a wonderful addition to the time you share with your lover. In saying that, after two or more drinks, alcohol lowers a man''s ability to achieve and maintain erections, and can trigger an inability to orgasm for a long time. Alcohol also has sedative effects - it could cause you to fall asleep easily. Drinking can also encourage unsafe behaviour. Drinking too much alcohol will not help enduring a sex marathon.

Get creative

While enduring a sex marathon, you can introduce sex toys like vibrators, beads or sex paraphernalia such as whips, ropes and blindfolds. Food is also a great diversion and pleasure- ice cream, chocolate sauce or whipped cream are great. Get creative - you can draw out the process for quite some time with some very lusty teasing using these objects.

Keep lube handy

One of the main problems of sex play for hours could be dryness, so keep some good quality lubricant handy, one that tastes nice and is non-greasy. A glass of water nearby is also going to be useful, not only to rehydrate but to moisten your mouth.

Now, try sex with a twist!

2009-10-04T01:08:00.000+05:30

Bored with your sex life? Well, then sensate-focused sex is the name of the game for you.
The nice, slow lovemaking where all you do is focus on your sensations, is the new mantra to renew your sex life as you rediscover each other. Sensate-focused sex exercises involve a series of behavioural practices, which offer variety and increased personal awareness through basic touch.
Originally developed by sex researchers Drs. William Masters and Virginia Johnson, sensate focus exercises involve each partner paying increased attention to their own sensations when stimulated.
Particularly for couples in sex therapy, the exercises have helped lovers to overcome issues like performance anxiety, rapid ejaculation, lack of orgasm and erectile dysfunction.
The benefits of sensate focus include, discovering new types of touch, spine-tingling sensations, increased comfort with physical intimacy, better awareness of your lover's body, as well as your own.
Apart from these, going for such exercises can help couples to strengthen their relationship, and also guarantees no fear of failure, better sex communication, and heightened sexual excitement.
With such non-demands and pleasuring exercises, couples do not make sex goal-oriented, instead, they enjoy the experience of being with one another, touching and feeling each other's bodies.
These highly structured touch activities are about enjoying physical contact to the fullest without trying to arouse each other and should not be mistaken as a form of foreplay, because it is the main experience in itself.
Done in several stages over time, they are tailor-made to a couple's specific issues when working with a sex therapist, reports Fox News.
Couples in therapy are usually advised to abstain from having intercourse while focusing on the physical sensations triggered during sensate play.
This not only alleviates anxiety and mental distractions that lead to sexual difficulties, but also offer up a greater awareness of the wide range of stimuli that encompass all of the senses.
The rules for sensate focus sex are:
1. Breasts and genitals are off limits for the first few sessions.
2. Verbal feedback is limited unless you're uncomfortable or in pain.
3. Do not try to elicit sexual response (but don't sweat it if it happens).
4. After each session, be sure to process the experience.
When pursuing sensate focus exercises, set aside at least 60 uninterrupted minutes in a warm bedroom and one may even enhance the setting with soothing music and candles.
If it helps, take a bath (or anything else that relaxes you). Take your time, over several "dates," and finally get on with the sessions.
Sensate focus sex could establish new ways of relating to each other and partners may find themselves having some of the best sex of their lives.
The details of sensate focus sex make part of the book ' Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots , by Dr. Yvonne K. Fulbright, who is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc.