29 October 2009

Sex on her mind


Champagne, candlelight, a man at the door who craves commitment. Does it sound like every woman’s ultimate
fantasy?
For ages the world has been trying hard to figure out what’s going on in a woman's head? What does a woman want: the quintessential question? The answer: champagne, candlelight, a man at the door...most of the times. The stuff most women fantasize about.
It’s not hard to understand actually...women do fantasize. A woman's fantasies are certainly not limited. All have their own peccadilloes. If your body hasn't been called "perky" since Gymboree, in fantasy you can give yourself permission to swing naked from a crystal chandelier. Here's another favourite: a rustic cabin in the woods, pink Champagne and Benicio Del Toro. The reality: a cramped studio in the city, Diet Snapple and a guy who hogs the remote. Don't get me wrong; I've got nothing against the keeper of my remote. It’s just my fantasy and reality never find common ground. But we still continue to fantasize. And yes, if it involves sex, it’s all the better.
Nothing beats a good sex fantasy. Even researchers agree. Linda Wolfe a famous author studied a sample of 15,000 women aged 18-34 years, and less than three percent said they never fantasize. It was seen that females are more likely to prefer erotica with a "softer," more imaginative side than the "harder," more explicit forms preferred by males.
Dr. Nimish Seth, psychologist says: “There’s no such thing as an inappropriate fantasy. A lesbian fantasy is not proof that you're gay; a dominatrix fantasy doesn't mean you ought to run right out and invest in a pair of leather pants. Whether you choose to explore your fantasies—however mild or wild they may be—is up to you. But by all means don't hesitate to let your imagination jump-start your body into a sexier sex life. Sometimes a girl needs a jolt of adventure—if only in her daydreams”.
Almost all sexual fantasies fall into one of the three general
categories:
Sex with previous, imaginary, or celebrity partners
Sexual fantasies about submission and/or dominance
Unconventional sexual practices or settings
Nihal Seth, a young entrepreneur points out that “now sex fantasy is the safest, healthiest way to have more fun in bed.” The occasional fantasy is to sexual pleasure what green chutney is to chicken tikka: that little something extra that elevates the delicious to the sublime!
The world is not perfect. We all know that. It’s not always possible for us to get what we want. This is where fantasies help. Pooja Bedi, Bollywood actress, says that “every woman wants her man to be James Bond who holds the image of tall dark handsome and also has a kid within him. Women still fantasize with fairy tales”.
Aarti (name changed), 24, a marketing manager admits, "I fantasize my husband tying me to the bed and spanking me, abusing me and playing hard on me. It makes me feel like a wild cat waiting to be controlled."
Think of your sexual fantasies as a reflection of who you are. Fantasies may supplant reality for some. Pragya goes as far as to describe, "I often imagine myself stuck with a stranger in a dingy room during a calamity. Finally we end up making wild love amidst all the rush and hurry. It excites me to the core."
Devyani Pandit, a PR professional, says: “Doing it in bed gets boring after some time and we can explore new avenues. Our upbringing also at times acts as mental blocks as we struggle with feeling okay about our desires”. The good news is that everyone can have sexual fantasies; it’s just that some of us need a little more inspiration than others.
So the next time your woman seems to be wandering off in thought, you’ll know exactly what’s on her mind!
Women’s

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