Top 11 sex myths busted

Whether we appreciate them or not, we still like to know about sex myths and facts and if they are true or false.
There are as many sex myths and facts as there are couples! You may have heard someone say ‘oh they broke up as their sex life was poor’, or someone else’s package size is smaller so their married life didn’t succeed. Here are some facts which we sometimes like to ignore.
1. You can't get pregnant during your period - false!
There's a chance that you can get pregnant during a period, particularly towards the end of your menstrual cycle. Unprotected sex also increases the risk infection by sexually transmitted infections (STIs).
2. You can't get pregnant during unprotected sex if the man pulls out before he ejaculates - false!
Even though your boyfriend doesn't ejaculate, sperm can still be present in his pre-cum (the clear, sticky drops that are released when he's aroused). It only takes one sperm to get you pregnant, and the fluid can also contain sexually transmitted infections. Some men aren't aware that they are ejaculating until it's too late, and it's easy to get carried away in the heat of the moment.
3. You can't get pregnant while having sex standing up, or in the shower or bath - false!
If you have unprotected sex you can get pregnant, no matter how or where you do it.
4. You can't get pregnant while on the pill - false!
The chances of getting pregnant while taking the contraceptive pill are virtually nil, provided you are following the instructions correctly and consistently. But if you miss pills, are on antibiotics, or have sickness and diarrhoea, you need to use condoms for the next seven days.
5. It's safe to have sex as soon as you're on the pill - false!
Different types of contraceptive pills take different times to kick in. This can range from 0-14 days. Always follow the instructions prescribed with your type of pill, and use an additional form of contraception such as condoms during the time it takes for your choice of pill become effective.
6. Peeing after sex washes out sperm and prevents pregnancy - false!
For a start, urine exits the bladder through the urethra, which lies above of the vaginal opening. Which means any sperm in the vagina won't even get wet when you pee.
7. Men want sex more than women do - false.
Women want sex too - but they are guided by other emotions as well. For instance, house work, kids and holding onto a job are good enough reasons to go off sex completely. So we're exhausted! Plus, hormones make us feel like having a lot of sex during certain times of the month, rather than all of the time. And, because we tend to attach more emotions to sex than men do, we aren't going to beg him for action if he's been giving us attitude.
8. Happy couples have good sex most of the time - false.
Show me a couple that's having out-of-control, raging sex every night after years of sharing the same bed, and I'll show you a pig that can fly. Life and all its pressures get in the way for all of us. Does it mean your friend is lying if she claims to have fabulous sex after five years of marriage and two kids? Maybe. Or maybe she thinks you have a great sex life and doesn't want to admit she doesn't. Or maybe her definition of great sex is different than yours. Or maybe she really does have terrific sex... once a month. It's all subjective.
9. Men are more promiscuous than women - true.
The real truth is, this one is probably true, but by much less than you think. When polled about their sex lives, men overestimate while women underestimate, due to societal pressures. It's also totally dependent on how attractive the people in question are. An attractive, sexually liberated woman is likely to have had more partners than a not-so-fab-looking guy around the same age, for instance. It's called opportunity.
10. Women don't like porn or dirty sex - false.
Women love porn. It gives them new ideas and tricks to try out to make their partners happy. Plus, a lot of them are exchanged on emails or discussed between giggles next to water coolers in the office. Anyone who thinks men are the only ones mentally undressing that sexy passenger on the metro is deluded.
11. Men always want sex - false .
You need to give more credit to your partner than that! But if he is below 18 and has landed his first girlfriend, then perhaps it is true. However, as men get older responsibilities, daily pressures, work, bills etc. come in the way and he cannot think of sex all the time. But one look, and he is ready to jump into bed - that’s also true!

Does sexual pleasure depend upon organ-size?

Question: I am a 19-year-old boy studying in a professional college. Despite being good in studies, I suffer from an inferiority
complex about the size of my penis. My friends have often told me that the size of the penis is directly proportional to the amount of sexual pleasure given or obtained. They boast about their size and how it is a reflection of their masculinity. Is this correct? Can something be done to increase the size of one's genitalia?

Answer: The older we grow, the greater becomes our wonder at how much ignorance one can contain without bursting one's clothes. One never knew an ignorant person yet but was prejudiced, said good ol' Twain. Men who feel that the size of their organ is inadequate, rejoice!! Here is news to take away your blues. Now you need not be afraid of going to a public urinal wary of prying glances. Now, you need not fantasise about the size of any Schwarznegger or Superman.
The smaller organ has a much greater erectile capacity than the larger one. The size of the flaccid or erect penis has absolutely nothing to do with its pleasure-giving qualities. The vagina has a great deal of elasticity and it can adapt to any size of the male organ, be it large or small. And finally, if you think a man is a man cause he guzzles beer or was born with a larger-than-thine appendage, think again. Can't you see, Sir, the sands of time are dribbling through the hourglass?!

Top 10 excuses to avoid sex

We all have heard one too many and by now have our own list of excuses when we are just not in the mood for a romp.
Recently a survey revealed that ‘I’m too tired’ is giving the humble ‘headache’ a run for its money. Here are the top ten excuses that people use to avoid a steamy session...
1. Too tired
2. I'm not in the mood
3. I've got a headache
4. I've got to get up in the morning
5. I'm pre-occupied with work
6. I'm angry with you
7. I can hear one of the children
8. You need a shower
9. I've got a bad back
10. Too soon in our relationship.
However, across foreign shores, primarily in Britain, one in five couples are making an excuse to get between the sheets for some heavyduty action!
A spokesman for www.OnePoll.com , which carried out the study, said: ''The headache has had its day as far as excuses are concerned. Tiredness plays a much bigger part in our reasons not to climb between the sheets these days and enjoy some quality time together. And it’s hardly surprising when we are all working longer hours than ever before and have so many things to worry about.
Fears over whether will be able to pay our mortgages or even whether we will have a job in a month's time are bound to affect our bedroom performance. It was intriguing to see just how the recession has affected our passion levels too.''
The report also found men are more likely to make excuses than women with 27 per cent admitting they often avoided sex compared to 18 per cent of women.

How to Have Sex Standing up

There are many different positions that can be achieved when one or both partners is standing during sex. These positions range from the bizarre to the more common. The trick is to finding the position that gives both you and your partner the maximum amount of pleasure.

   1.
      Step 1

      Enter your partner from behind while she is bent over in front of you. This is the simplest position and very similiar to "doggy-style." It allows for deep penetration and can be accomplished by even the most novice of individuals.
   2.
      Step 2

      Stand face to face while the man bends his knees slightly to be in the right position to enter the woman. The man then straightens his legs and inserts his penis into her vagina. This is the most common position for having sex while standing.
   3.
      Step 3

      Wrap your legs around the man's hips while leaning against a wall. This position allows for more contact of the man's body against the woman's clitoris, giving her greater pleasure. It also allows for support for the man to make better, more defined thrusts.
   4.
      Step 4

      Lay the woman on a flat surface that places her about an inch below the mans penis. The man stands in front of the woman and lifts her hips until her vagina is lined up with his penis. The woman places her legs either on the man's shoulders or on his waist to help support her weight. The man then inserts his penis. This is known as the butterfly position. The man can't penetrate very deeply but the angle of the penetration makes it perfect for G-spot stimulation. This position is the most difficult of those listed.

How to Boost Health With Tantric Sex

Tantric sex, derived from the Eastern religions such as Buddhism and Hinduism, teaches that sex isn't dependent entirely on achieving orgasm but instead is a never-ending series of spiritual and sexual manifestations. For example, dressing sexy isn't reserved for Saturday night; it's an ongoing feature of a relationship, even when you're grocery shopping. Tantric sex can give you better health--just look at the following facts.
Step
1
Increase the number of orgasms to boost brain waves. The multiple orgasms women achieve through tantric sex can alleviate or reduce headaches (including migraines), lessen menstrual cramps and urinary tract infections and get rid of stress and depression.
Step
2
Eliminate the need for erectile dysfunction drugs. By practicing tantric sex, men can increase their sexual choices and learn a variety of positions and ways to stimulate themselves and their partners and achieve orgasm. They no longer need to consider prescription drugs as the only way to improve a low libido.
Step
3
Use "chakras," or the body's energy centers, to increase physical health. Tantric sex "unblocks" energy in the body by allowing couples to use their entire bodies, not just sexual organs, as conduits for sexual and spiritual pleasure. By not focusing on orgasms and merely letting energy flow, partners feel more pleasure and end up having more orgasms.
Step
4
Realize that orgasms can occur throughout the body. Although the sensations will be pleasurable, they might not be exactly the same as normal orgasms centered in the sexual organs. Nevertheless, tantric orgasms relieve stress, increase blood flow and give the practitioner an overall feeling of health.
Step
5
Know that tantric sex aids secretion in the pituitary gland. These secretions guide the endocrine system, which oversees the thyroid and sex organs and regulates immune system function. By aiding the endocrine system, tantric sex normalizes blood pressure and water (lymphatic) flow in the body.

Tantric Sex for Beginners: 4 Easy Tips!

Abhijith Mohapatra

My friend Sean recently wowed me by casually mentioning that he had just attended a three-day tantric sex workshop where the end goal was, well, for no end goal. “The point,” he said, “is to channel all the sexual energy that would normally leave during an orgasm, back into your body. It gives you so much energy!”
Sure enough, achieving the big “O” is not Tantra’s main objective. Instead, you attempt to prolong the act, increasing potent sexual energy and intimacy with your partner. If you focus soley on the grand finale, you’ll miss the amazing range of feeling the rest of the show offers. “Sexual energy is one of our most powerful energies for creating health,” says Christiane Northrup, M.D., author of Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom. “Through the intimate connection with another, our stress hormones lower and our serotonin shoots through the roof.”
Hmmm, I’ve certainly heard of Tantra but besides the Bible-length Kama Sutra, wacky-sounding positions like “lotus” and “jumping spider” and tales of Sting engaging in 36-hour lovemaking sessions, I didn’t know much, let alone that the intimacy is great for our health. “Even without an exhaustive education,” says Wendy Strgar, Care2 columnist and CEO of Good, Clean Love, “the principles behind tantric practice can go a long way in deepening the connection you share with your partner.”
Here are four beginner’s techniques you can try out.

Design an “intimacy space”

This should be a comfortable area that is playful and relaxed. First, clear the room of any attention-grabbing clutter. Next, decorate with flowers, candles and cozy fabrics. Scent is really important to our sensuality, so try natural oils like jasmine, ylang-ylang, or rose. Make sure your bed is as comfortable as possible with soft sheets and a number of pillows. Lastly, chose a soundtrack of music that you both like. Play it softly in the background to enhance your mood.

Breathe Each Other’s Breath

Harmonizing your breath is one of the easiest ways to sync with your partner. Straddle your partner’s lap (called the yab-yom position) and inhale while they exhale and vice versa. As your partner breathes out, you’ll find yourself taking their breath into and down through your entire body. As you exhale, consciously attempt to energize the breath. In this way, you’re sharing all of yourself with your partner. “Becoming conscious about your breath is central to all yogic practices and is foundational in Tantra,” says Strgar.

Keep Your Eyes Open

“The idea of making love with your eyes open is one of the fundamentals of deep connection in intimacy,” says Strgar. “It is surprisingly harder to do than you might expect. Move toward this idea as an intention rather than a rule and be amazed as the collection of glimpses that will reshape how you think about your partner and yourself. It is not easy to be seen, even by the people we love. Truly witnessing the act of love is profoundly transformative.”

Take it Slow

Sorry guys, foreplay is essential in Tantra. A lesiurely, slow build helps men control longevity and piques women’s arousal. The longer you linger in this process of building energy, the longer your session will last and the more energy you will build. Use this time to fully focus on each other. As in meditation, when your thoughts wander, gently guide your attention back to your partner and the magic of the moment at hand.

How to Seduce Your Husband Through a Role Play

You love your husband to pieces but that old familiar routine has kicked in and zapped you of the passion you once shared so effortlessly. You can rekindle it in usual and unusual ways if you feel adventurous. If you have lost that loving feeling and been entertaining the idea of an affair with a hot young lover, stop right there. You can short-circuit your desire to cheat by re-planting all of that passion right back into the one that you love.
Step
1
Role-play an affair with your husband. You can even give each other fake names and he can become your illicit lover while you become his "mistress" for a while.
Step
2
Engage in all the things that you would if you were having a secret affair. Have secretive phone calls, call him unexpectedly at work, arrange to meet him in an out of the way bar, rent a hotel room for the night.
Step
3
Create a forbidden atmosphere by really role-playing and saying things like "My husband would kill me if he finds out" and things that make it appear more real. The forbidden aspect alone will be a huge turn-on.
Step
4
Focus on your husband with a new and fresh pair of eyes, seeing his smile, his humor and his good-looks as if for the first time. Slow down and enjoy the ride.

Sex on her mind

Champagne, candlelight, a man at the door who craves commitment. Does it sound like every woman’s ultimate
fantasy?
For ages the world has been trying hard to figure out what’s going on in a woman's head? What does a woman want: the quintessential question? The answer: champagne, candlelight, a man at the door...most of the times. The stuff most women fantasize about.
It’s not hard to understand actually...women do fantasize. A woman's fantasies are certainly not limited. All have their own peccadilloes. If your body hasn't been called "perky" since Gymboree, in fantasy you can give yourself permission to swing naked from a crystal chandelier. Here's another favourite: a rustic cabin in the woods, pink Champagne and Benicio Del Toro. The reality: a cramped studio in the city, Diet Snapple and a guy who hogs the remote. Don't get me wrong; I've got nothing against the keeper of my remote. It’s just my fantasy and reality never find common ground. But we still continue to fantasize. And yes, if it involves sex, it’s all the better.
Nothing beats a good sex fantasy. Even researchers agree. Linda Wolfe a famous author studied a sample of 15,000 women aged 18-34 years, and less than three percent said they never fantasize. It was seen that females are more likely to prefer erotica with a "softer," more imaginative side than the "harder," more explicit forms preferred by males.
Dr. Nimish Seth, psychologist says: “There’s no such thing as an inappropriate fantasy. A lesbian fantasy is not proof that you're gay; a dominatrix fantasy doesn't mean you ought to run right out and invest in a pair of leather pants. Whether you choose to explore your fantasies—however mild or wild they may be—is up to you. But by all means don't hesitate to let your imagination jump-start your body into a sexier sex life. Sometimes a girl needs a jolt of adventure—if only in her daydreams”.
Almost all sexual fantasies fall into one of the three general
categories:
Sex with previous, imaginary, or celebrity partners
Sexual fantasies about submission and/or dominance
Unconventional sexual practices or settings
Nihal Seth, a young entrepreneur points out that “now sex fantasy is the safest, healthiest way to have more fun in bed.” The occasional fantasy is to sexual pleasure what green chutney is to chicken tikka: that little something extra that elevates the delicious to the sublime!
The world is not perfect. We all know that. It’s not always possible for us to get what we want. This is where fantasies help. Pooja Bedi, Bollywood actress, says that “every woman wants her man to be James Bond who holds the image of tall dark handsome and also has a kid within him. Women still fantasize with fairy tales”.
Aarti (name changed), 24, a marketing manager admits, "I fantasize my husband tying me to the bed and spanking me, abusing me and playing hard on me. It makes me feel like a wild cat waiting to be controlled."
Think of your sexual fantasies as a reflection of who you are. Fantasies may supplant reality for some. Pragya goes as far as to describe, "I often imagine myself stuck with a stranger in a dingy room during a calamity. Finally we end up making wild love amidst all the rush and hurry. It excites me to the core."
Devyani Pandit, a PR professional, says: “Doing it in bed gets boring after some time and we can explore new avenues. Our upbringing also at times acts as mental blocks as we struggle with feeling okay about our desires”. The good news is that everyone can have sexual fantasies; it’s just that some of us need a little more inspiration than others.
So the next time your woman seems to be wandering off in thought, you’ll know exactly what’s on her mind!
Women’s

Seduce your girl with humour

When it comes to seducing a woman, nothing, as it turns out, works better than a man with a self-depreciating sense of humour.
What's more is that this finding is based on a two-year scientific research which found that men who can poke fun at themselves are most the ones that are sexual magnets for women.
As a part of the study lead author Gil Greengross, of the University of New Mexico in the US and her colleagues asked female students to listen to tape recordings of men talking about themselves.
The women were then asked to score the men on sexual attractiveness.
Greengross revealed that when it comes to the type of humour that works best at getting a woman into bed, the self-deprecating kind comes in at the top of the pack.
"Many studies show that a sense of humour is sexually attractive to women but we've found that self-deprecating humour is the most attractive of all," the Telegraph quoted Greengross, as saying.
"People who used this humour were considered to be far more desirable as mates."
He added a note of caution however, saying that it can also draw attention to a man's real faults, thus turning women off.
"It is a risky form of humour because it can draw attention to one's real faults, thereby diminishing the self-deprecator's status in the eyes of others," he said.
"Think about the secondary school child whom nobody liked, who makes fun of his shortcomings.
"His peers mocked him and he was considered more pathetic than he was previously. This is high-risk seduction. It is not for everyone."
The study, 'Dissing Oneself: The Sexual Attractiveness of Self-Deprecating Humour,' will be published in Journal of Evolutionary Psychology.

Men's sex o'clock revealed!

Feeling romantic? Well, then gear up for some kinky action – but wait till 10.16pm tonight, for that’s the time when half of UK’s population gets turned on with their lovers. 

After asking 5,000 adults, cynical researchers have claimed that the romantic schedule means men can catch up with their football highlights on Match Of The Day at 10.30pm. 

The second most popular time for sex is 9pm on Friday, followed by 9.30am on Sunday, a report said. 

A spokesman for pollsters www.OnePoll.com said: “One might conclude from this survey that romance is dead. 

“It certainly seems that sex has become a matter of convenience for many people. 

“When couples get past the honeymoon stage in their relationship they seem to settle down a bit, and sex isn’t as important any more.” 

The survey shows a quarter of couples go longer than two months between romps.

Woman's emotional guide for sex

It’s rightly said that you perform well in bed when you have the desire to score brownie points. 
Everyone likes to enjoy lovemaking with a fully charged up mind and at the same time they want an equally aroused partner in bed to ensure gratifying sex. It's the emotion, mood and the present state of mind that adds to the sexual ecstasy. 
A recent study revealed that women with a high emotional intelligence have better sex lives and they experienced more orgasms than those with low EI who suffered orgasmic disorder. “The findings show that emotional intelligence is an added advantage in many aspects of your life, including the bedroom. This study enormously helps in the development of behavioural and cognitive therapies to improve women's sexual lives," said Professor Tim Spector, director of the Twin Research Department at King's College London. 
Relationship counselor Gitanjali Sharma explains, “Emotional intelligence is basically the ability to understand your emotions and those of people around you. It’s about reading emotions, balancing and regulating them. If you are emotionally satisfied, you are in a happier mood which applies to your bedroom too. It’s important to realise that sex starts in one's mind before it reaches the body. Before having sex physically, you actually get physical mentally and that is possible only with an emotionally sound mind.” 
Dr. Kamal Khurana, a marriage and relationship counselor agrees, “Women give sex to get love, so they want a lot of reassurance and companionship from their male partner. They have a sex drive, but eventually it’s more about emotional warmth, which turns into an expression of love and sex. When women receive more of emotional support in dealing with their mood swings, they are happier and consequently perform well in bed.” 
Elucidating the fact that women can spice up their sex lives with a dash of emotions, we get experts to share some emotions that can do wonders in your sexual paradise when dealt with in a desired way... 
Angry : Anger has to do with fear and it is a very healthy emotion. Anger problems can make hungry-for-sex women become so adamant on controlling their anger that they stop feeling sexy. It's often an alarm clock for their male partner where men are expected to understand that there's something making the woman angry. Anger leads to rejection of the male in an intimate act. The emotion of anger clearly shows that there is a problem deep down due to which the female partner may not be responding in the desired manner. 
Spice up the emotion : Dr. Kamal Khurana, a marriage therapist suggests, “Of course you should not talk at that particular time, but men should try and find out the right time to reach out to their lady love. Try talking about what is bothering your lady in a nice manner, which is not hurtful or provoking. As soon as you trace the reason behind her anger, try bringing in a dash of surprise humour to lighten up her mood. Express your love through a meaningful gesture by saying ‘I love you’ via a card, keeping romantic notes below her pillow, cracking a sexual joke or sending her favourite flowers.” 
Overjoyed : When a woman is going through this emotion, she would evidently want to go on talking about her elated state of mind. Having such a good mood, she would undoubtedly perform well in bed, but her mind is likely to be diverted. 
Spice up the emotion : Gitanjali Sharma, a relationship counselor states, “It’s entirely up to the male partner as to how he handles his woman in bed on that particular night. It’s important for him to listen to her and support her and be a part of her celebration. Understand that she is at her joyful peak, so it will be wrong to expect her to be on the peak of sex too. Be patient and make the most of this emotion by going with the flow. Connect with her and laugh out loud on whatever she says and then as the passion builds on, you can proceed for an intimate session.” 
Anxious : Anxious people do not often experience a satisfying orgasm. Anxiety exists when a woman is afraid of something that might happen in the future or something which she has experienced during a particular day. When she goes to bed with these anxieties running through her mind, she is not mentally prepared to enjoy sex. If this emotion is not dealt with properly, possibilities are there that sex would be avoided often and there will be more of excuses in your relationship. 
Spice up the emotion : “Ensuring that your woman doesn’t get carried away with this emotion, the male partner has to be supportive here. When in such a mood, sex should not be treated as a tick-marked routine thing which has to be done mundanely. The act should be aimed at comforting each other and the secondary stage should involve body contact. Lot of discussions would help bringing you partner closer to you and as you touch upon the different domains of her life, sex will naturally flow,” suggests Dr. Khurana. 
Isolated : This emotion can bring drastic results in a woman’s sex life. Due to a feeling of isolation, she may suffer from depression and have a low confidence level. With feelings of being disowned, she would not want to attach herself with anyone, thus bearing a clear unwillingness towards sex. On the other hand, seeking physical and emotional support, she may become too vulnerable thereby indulging in sex just to come out of this isolation. 
Spice up the emotion : “In such circumstances, men must communicate with their female partners to try and help her regain high emotional intelligence. Loving gestures from your end will reassure her and make her come close to you. Once you have given her the recognition and made her feel important in some way, she would be all into you and will be charged up for a sexual session too,” says Gitanjali. 
Silence : There must be certain inhibitions that induce a woman to remain silent for a prolonged time span. When a woman is unable to express her mind freely, or she is undergoing emotional pain, her self-esteem is low. During lovemaking moments when your lady love is in such a mood, she will behave as if sex is a forced pressure on her. 
Spice up the emotion : “The basic idea while dealing with this emotion is to make her open up and speak out her mind. Chances are high that she might have certain sexual preferences, which she is finding tough to communicate. So make her feel at ease, indulge in a healthy conversation over a coffee, empower her to be expressive and say whatever she wants to without any apprehensions. Once her thoughts are conveyed in a proper manner, she will look forward to lovemaking, sans any uneasiness,” feels Dr. Khurana. 
Negative attitude : A pessimistic emotion makes a woman see everything wrong around her. Indulging in negative self-talk, there is nothing that seems to bring joy to her. Even if her male partner approaches her for sex, she is likely not to respond in a desired way. 
Spice up the emotion : “The male partner needs to instill a positive feeling to help the woman come out of her negativity. It’s advisable to highlight positive things and good attributes about her and pamper her so as to create a feel good feeling. It’s only after creating this good mood around a lady that her libido can be nurtured too,” shares Gitanjali. 
Source:timesofindia.com

My wife wants sex all the time! Help

Question: I am a 42-year-old man, well educated and city bred. I have been married for two years. My wife is 21-years-old from a small town and not well educated. As this was an arranged marriage between old family friends, I didn’t mind. My wife wants sex all the time, and at least 3-4 times daily, apart from the night. At times I have woken up from sleep to find her on top of me. She is not interested in working, either outside or inside the house. I have been managing the servants too. All day she is busy chatting with the neighbours and once when I overheard her, it was again all about sex. Is this normal behaviour? It is definitely not what I had expected. So much of over-indulgence only in sex may be okay now, but what will happen 5-10 years down the line if she has no other interests? 


Answer: I don’t think anyone has ever been able to quantify what a ‘normal’ sex drive is or what should be considered the normal frequency of lovemaking. So, probably anything goes, as long as it does not interfere with the rest of your life. In your particular case, the huge age gap is responsible to a large extent for the difference in perceptions regarding sex. And if you are managing to keep up the pace with your young wife, why then, you must surely be congratulated. 


Even though there is a part of you that is rationalising the entire thing. Obviously, the flesh is willing even though the spirit is not! Meanwhile, instead of condemning this attitude and behaviour of hers, it would be better to let her discover all the joys and pleasures of physical gratification. And like all other good things in life, this too just might be unable to sustain itself. Thereby putting to rest your fears and apprehensions regarding the future. As for finding her on top of you, I am sure that is a welcome deviation from the routine and often-drab missionary variety! No?

10 places women want to be touched

Forget a woman's cleavage, there are more erogenous spots that you can now explore to get your lady sexcited. Read on to discover her ten most sensuous body parts waiting to be discovered. 
Women are sensuous creatures and they love being kissed and caressed. What guys often mistake is that they go straight for the woman's breasts or other private parts, without concentrating on her other moan zones. So, if you want to get your gal into the mood, stimulate some of her often-neglected body parts. 
Touch these places during foreplay and sex, or just give her some pleasure after a hard day and she'll surely reward you with brownie points in bed. 
Tresses 
All guys like women with gorgeous locks. But what you need to know is that women love being touched on their head. It's quite a stress reliever. Running your hands sensuously through her tresses is likely to send shivers down her spine. Massage her temples to the nape of her neck and she’ll be game to your desires. 
Nape of her neck 
In ancient Japan, the back of a woman’s neck was considered extremely attractive by men as it was one of the few zones that were not covered by the elaborate kimono. Today, very few men focus on the nape of the neck, but we suggest you build up the pleasure by gentle touching and kissing your lady love from her hairline down to her shoulders. It will make her reach dizzying heights of pleasure. 
Collar bone 
A well-defined collarbone is what men find irresistible. So, why not touch and kiss her there. Unbutton her shirt just a little and stimulate her collarbone with your touch. Create circles with your tongue and give her love bites right there, just to remind her of how much you want her. 
Small of her back 
Most women love it when their guy places his protective hand against the small of her back as it shows that he feels very strongly about her. So, why not incorporate this gesture into your foreplay routine, by kissing or licking down her spine to end up with a kiss on the small of her back. It will definitely get her into the mood for more! 
Behind her knees 
This area is a power house of sensitive nerve endings. You can gently caress the back of her knee under her skirt while the two of you are in an open public space as it is sure to get her excited by the time you reach home. 
Palms of her hands 
We use our hands to please our partners, but have you ever thought that you could arouse a woman by stimulating the palm of her hand? Run your finger along her palm as that will make her feel relaxed and ready for a sexy rendezvous ahead. 
Her earlobes 
This is one of the most erogenous moan centers of a woman's body. Touching, kissing and even gently biting her earlobes will send her into a sexual tizzy. If you are getting extra adventurous, simply nibble around the outside of the rest of her ear as well, but don't put your tongue inside her ear. That's a major turn off! 
Happy feet 
There's nothing more sinfully seductive than a foot massage. It will help her relax, especially if her job requires her to be on them all day. Get yourself some aromatic massage oil or lotion. Pay extra attention to the pressure points such as her toes, ankles and the sides of her feet too. Some women love enjoy having their toes sucked, but others find it repulsive, so ask your babe what she would have you do before putting them in your mouth. 
Soft thighs 
Touching a woman's inner thighs without touching her private parts is the most sensual tease that is sure to get her all charged up. Employ your hands and mouth to caress and kiss the insides of her thighs, remember to pull back before going all the way.

Emotions good for women's sex lives

Women with high emotional intelligence (EI) have better sex lives, according to a new study.
Emotional intelligence is the ability to monitor and manage emotions in oneself and others.
The study by a research team at King's College London showed that those with greater EI had more orgasms. It also suggests that low EI is a risk factor for female orgasmic disorder.
"These findings show that emotional intelligence is an advantage in many aspects of your life including the bedroom. This study will help enormously in the development of behavioural and cognitive therapies to improve women's sexual lives," the Independent quoted Professor Tim Spector, director of the Twin Research Department at King's College London and co-author of the study, as saying.
For the study, a total of 2,035 female volunteers from the TwinsUK registry were recruited, ranging in age from 18 to 83.
The registry consists of adult twins who agreed to take part in studies to investigate the causes of common disorders. Using twins makes it possible to disentangle genetic and environmental risk factors.
All participants completed questionnaires giving details of their sexual behaviour and performance and also answered questions designed to test their emotional intelligence.
Researchers found a significant association between EI and frequency of orgasm both during masturbation and sexual intercourse.
Women in the bottom 25 percent of the emotional intelligence range had twice the normal risk of infrequent orgasm.
Lead author, psychologist Andrea Burri, also from King's College, said: "Emotional intelligence seems to have a direct impact on women's sexual functioning by influencing her ability to communicate her sexual expectations and desires to her partner.
She also said that there was a possible association with a woman's ability to fantasise during sex.
"Emotional intelligence seems to have a direct impact on women's sexual functioning by influencing her ability to communicate her sexual expectations and desires to her partner," said Burri.
The results of the study appear in The Journal of Sexual Medicine.

Women's ultimate fantasy: Size not foreplay

When it comes to female orgasms, it is the size of the penis, and not the duration of foreplay, that increases the likelihood of fulfilling women’s sexual fantasies, suggests a new study.
Lead researcher Stuart Brody, from the University of the West of Scotland, focused on the number of factors that contributed to the regularity of vaginal orgasms.
The researchers described a vaginal orgasm as an "orgasm produced simply from movements of the penis in [the] vagina without any additional stimulation."
Boffins found that factors like the length of the penis, the duration of intercourse, and the ability to mentally focus on vaginal sensations, minus the duration of foreplay, increased the likelihood of orgasm.
"Given that the vagina [has a high nerve density] throughout... more thorough stimulation of the full length of the vagina... might result in a more fulfilling experience," ABC Science quoted the paper's authors as saying.
But some Australian researchers and practitioners have cast a shadow of doubt over the methodology and the political motivations behind the study.
Dr. Gemma O'Brien, a reproductive physiologist from the University of New England in Armidale, said: "Self reporting needs to be done very carefully. These things come down to perceptions and that introduces a weakness in the study."
Dr. Vivienne Cass, an adjunct professor at Curtin University of Technology in Perth and author of The Elusive Orgasm, also questioned the motivations of research that accorded vaginal orgasms greater significance over clitoral ones.
Associate Professor Rosemary Coates, also of Curtin University of Technology and president of the World Association for Sexual Health, also said "some form of clitoral stimulation is almost always required to trigger orgasm."
The results appear in an upcoming issue of The Journal of Sexual Medicine.

Foreplay beyond the bed!

Sex may end between the sheets, but that’s certainly not where it begins. We tell you what to do (outside the bed) for a spunkier sex life .
Scented candles and flavoured condoms -the paraphernalia is in place, and boy, you were never more ready. It begins with foreplay and before you know, it’s over - as unfulfilling as you dreaded. Setting up the supplies is only the icing. What’s needed primarily is the passion for each other, which sadly enough isn’t available on e-commerce sites. Here’s what you can do to increase the satisfaction quotient
Go shop
Relax. You needn’t necessarily buy. Head to a nearest mall and let the brands do the needful. Help your partner try out outfits that makes him/her look attractive. After all, feeling attracted and attractive is the basis for passionate intimacy.
Do the karaoke
Sing to your partner. Yes, it’s embarrassing to some, way too mushy for others and old-fashioned for most, but it works. So, head to the nearest karaoke night, and let your hearts out with romantic duets. You needn’t be a Kishore Kumar or Asha Bhonsle, but the warm numbers will reignite the passion.
Head to the kitchen
It’s tough to switch channels when a cricket match is on. Still, it is not difficult to don the chef’s hat and help her cook. Lick the chilli sauce off each other’s fingers and show off some of your mixing and whipping skills.
Click it right
Revisit those cherished moments by going through family albums and home videos. It will only remind you how special your partner’s presence is. That feeling of togetherness and emotional intimacy is what ultimately manifests in physical attraction.
Travel time
It’s time to put those leaves to good use. Check out travel brochures and plan your next holiday. Good old Mahabs can work just as well as a Paris or Barcelona. The shared experience will only bring you closer.
Comic quotient
Catch a stand-up comic show or order in that rib-tickling DVD to watch after dinner. If not that, get a book and read out those ridiculous jokes to each other. Those light-hearted moments drain out stress.
Get the right moves
Play cards or challenge each other at a board game. The rules remain the same barring one small anomaly - the winner’s wish is the loser’s command. The adrenaline levels will soar as the game approaches its finish, but the real fun will be only after the game is over.
Spend time doing ‘NOTHING’
Cuddle on a comfortable sofa with an endless supply of starters and chilled drinks. The endless chats about anything and everything will help you appreciate each others company. When both partners feel valued and loved, the connect is deeper, more meaningful, and it is only out of such close moments that true physical intimacy develops.
Source:timesofindia.indiatimes

Curvy women are better in bed!

Majority of British blokes believe that curvy women are better in bed than their size zero rivals, says a survey.
The study found that 89 per cent of men think having a plump partner in bed is a very good idea, reports The Sun . Also 68 per cent of women think that heavier men are the best for romps.
The poll by bed maker Silentnight found that chubbier partners "try harder" between the sheets and are more "giving".
In the study, researchers also found that skinny sleepers toss and turn five times more during the night than chunkier people.

Sex without condom is good for mental health

Having sex without using condom is good for mental health, according to a new study.
Professor Stuart Brody, of the West of Scotland University, Paisley, and his colleagues conducted the study and found that unprotected heterosexual sex can significantly boost men and women''s mental wellbeing.
On the other hand, heterosexual sex with a condom is linked to poorer mental health, the study showed.
According to Brody, mankind is biologically programmed to enjoy unprotected sex because it gives couples an evolutionary advantage and maximises the chances of reproducing.
"Evolution is not politically correct, so of the very broad range of potential sexual behaviour, there is actually only one that is consistently associated with better physical and mental health and that is the one sexual behaviour that would be favoured by evolution. That is not accidental," the Scotsman quoted Brody as saying.
The researchers studied the sexual behaviour of 99 women and 111 men in Portugal.
 They filled in questionnaires about the pleasure they derived from their sex lives and contraception use.
Using a measure of psychological health developed in Canada, Brody concluded that condom use was linked to members of the sample who exhibited problems dealing with stress.
He found that those who had unprotected sex appeared to be able to deal with stress in a more mature way by taking effective action. They also had better mental health.
However, his conclusions have been criticised by sexual health campaigners, who warned that unsafe sex leads to unwanted pregnancies and diseases.
Tony Kerridge of Marie Stopes International, the leading sexual health and reproductive health organisation, said: "I would have thought that the mental health of anyone would be tested if they found out they had a sexually transmitted disease or that there was an unwanted pregnancy.
"Particularly in the case of casual relationships where there is no desire to get pregnant, advice should always be that condoms should be used," Kerridge added.
The study has been published in the academic journal Archives of Sexual Behaviour.

People learning sex secrets from Internet

As many as 75 per cent of Malaysians have Internet to thank for providing them information on sex, a new poll suggests.
According to the Durex Sexual Wellbeing Survey, men were ahead when compared to women in using the World Wide Web to surf about bedroom passion.
Other sources included magazines with as many as seventy-three per cent of the respondents relying on them, reports The Star Online.
Sixty-five per cent turned to books, 56 per cent to friends and peers, and 43 per cent to their partners.
Sex education at school made up for only 36 per cent.

Secret behind passionate kiss revealed

Ummmms’ and ‘aaahhhs’ are not the only co-partners of kissing, for a passionate lip-lock unleashes a chain of chemical changes that really turn your head, claims a new study.
As Valentine's Day approaches, Wendy Hill, professor of psychology at Lafayette College, Pennsylvania has taken the opportunity to shed light on that most basic of all human expressions of love – the smooch.
In her study, Wendy has found that a meeting of lips can spark a complex chemical surge into the brain that makes a lover feel excited, happy or relaxed. Also, it is being speculated that the hormone release may be triggered directly by an exchange of sexually stimulating pheromones in the saliva.
“This study shows kissing is much more complex and causes hormonal changes and things we never thought occurred,” The Times quoted her, as saying. “We tend to think more about who we are kissing and how it feels, yet there are a lot of other things happening,” she added.
To reach the conclusion, the research team looked at the impact of kissing on levels of two hormones, oxytocin and cortisol, in 15 male-female couples before and after holding hands and before and after kissing.
Oxytocin is known to be involved in social bonding so the researchers predicted that its levels would rise, while cortisol, a stress hormone, would fall. The results showed cortisol levels fell in both sexes, although oxytocin levels rose in men but fell in women.

Decode your lover's body language

No matter where you bump into your eye candy - at a friend's house, at a bar, a restaurant or even in the midst of a crowded market, the questions remain the same: "What on Earth is he/she thinking? Does he/she really like me? Do I stand a chance?"
But do you know that men and women both are pre-programmed to send out physical clues when they're interested in the opposite sex? A huge advantage of becoming aware of your love interest's body language is that you can now read her mind and predict their next move. Here's how you can understand body language clues...
Her Body
Eye Contact : It all starts with an eye lock, doesn't it? Eyes telegraph unspoken messages and the female species definitely knows how to use this part of their body to their advantage. "I use this trick when I want to attract a guy's attention and no matter how clichéd it sounds, this trick always works!" says Sunaina Sharma, a student. "My first interaction with my wife started through eye contact. She was sitting with her friends on a staircase in college and I was a newcomer. It won't be wrong to say that she literally used her eyes as weapons to trap the prey (me)!" shares Prabhu a corporate executive.
Hot tip : "An eye contact can vary from curiosity, cool assessment to a coy interest in someone. When a girl makes eye contact that lasts longer than a furtive glance, it is a positive move on her part. If a girl looks deeply into a guy's eyes, she's telling him that he's the most charming person in the room. However, a full frontal stare is risky. It may come across as too bold to those men who get freaked out by direct behavior by a woman," says Dr. Upadhyaya.
Exposing : Yes, we know that most women love indulging in skin show, but here we're talking about a particular area: their long and smooth neck. "There was a girl in my office who was infamous for indulging in sex talks with male colleagues. She would always sit with her hair on one side of her shoulder, revealing her slender and perfumed neck. In fact, some of her friends told me once that she purposely did this as she felt it made her look sexy and was a nice way of luring someone for dirty talks," reveals Shailja Thakur, a business analyst.
Hot tip : "When you're reading a woman's body gestures, observe if she tosses her hair over one shoulder frequently. If your answer is in the affirmative, then be assured that the lady has fallen hard for you," says Dr. Akhouri. "It's an indirect act of submission and it not only exposes your neck, but also screams for attention," he adds.
Leg Crossing : The next time you get the chance to sit with your eye candy, observe her leg movements very carefully. While crossing her legs, if her top leg always points in your direction, treat it as a win-win situation. "I personally feel that a woman's whole personality changes as soon as she crosses her legs... it creates a goddess-like aura around her. On my last date, the girl sat with her legs crossed sexily all through the date and occasionally rubbed her thighs. Not only did I got broad hints, but it also was a big turn on for me," says Manu Vohra, a marketing manager.
Hot tip : According to Dr. Upadhyaya., "Leg crossing is suggestive of a nervous or provocative gesture. Often, woman can't help crossing their legs in front of the guy they have the hots for. It is a subconscious gesture that clearly says a man is getting on to her."
Arm Crossing : Crossing of arms by a woman has numerous meanings. "The receptionist in my old office used to sit with her hands and legs crossed every time I was around. Initially, I thought her to be an arrogant lass, but it was only when she asked me out one day that I realised what that meant," says Sagarmani Dhakal, a corporate executive. "The best way to highlight your assets in front of a man is to cross your hands right below your chest and the guy is bound to notice you!," suggests Puja Khanna, a marketing executive. "Whenever I want something more from a guy than just talking and shopping, this is the trick that I apply," she quips.
Hot tip : "Crossed arms signal a woman's vulnerability and it can also be a way of telling a guy that she doesn't like him and doesn't want him around at all. Crossing of arms over her chest is also a clever way of drawing attention towards her assets," explains Dr. Upadhyaya.
Leaning : If you catch your ladylove practically leaning towards your shoulders most of the times she's around you, there is very little chance that she is not madly in love with you! "I went with my colleague for a movie and throughout the film, I could feel her hair on my neck and shoulders. The hint was enough for me to understand that I wasn't a mere colleague for her anymore," says Sunny Kudav, a programmer.
So the next time you want your guy to know he means a lot to you, just put your head on his shoulder, close your eyes and relax! "When my husband and I were just friends, and wanted to graduate to the level of lovers, I kept dropping hints like these. I would quietly lean over his body and say nothing. I wanted him to know that I was dependent on him and that his company was soothing and that life without him would now be difficult," says Shailja Sharma, a housewife.
Hot tip : "There is nothing more pleasurable than to make your love confession indirectly to your man. If a woman leans on a man, it's a sign of acceptance. It means she thinks the guy is dependable and trustworthy. She has found in you her dream man," tells Dr. Akhouri.
HIS BODY
Eyebrow flash : Pay attention to your crush's eyebrows the next time you meet him, for this gesture can convey his likeability for you. "Whether you walk the corridor of a corporate office or go shopping in a crowded street, you will find at least a dozen men staring at you with their raised eyebrows. This gesture is too obvious to go unnoticed," says Drishika Chowdhry, a model.
Hot tip : "When the person we're attracted to comes before us, our first reaction is that of raising our eyebrows", says Dr. Pramod Upadhyaya. "It lasts about a fifth of a second and it happens to everyone," he adds.
He's checking out your body : His eyes take a tour of your body, stopping for a moment to scan the sexiest parts. "Guys do this all the time. I remember a guy from final year whom I dated for a couple of months. He would make it a point to scan my body as soon as I entered the class. And the strangest part was that he would want to me see his act," holds Ritu Rauthan, an MCA student. "If one wants to end up in bed with a girl, he needs to throw strong signals and the best way to do it is to let her see you when you are exploring every part of her body with your eyes," says Vishal Khandelwal, a web designer.
Hot tip : "When a guy lets you see him checking out your body, it's a way of indirectly telling the opposite sex: 'I'm considering you as a sexual partner'," says Dr.Tapas K Akhouri, a body language trainer.
His hands are on your body : This means the guy is subconsciously drawing your attention to his assets. Whichever part a man aims at is the most meaningful part to him. "My boyfriend used to position his chest towards me while talking and sometimes he would put his hands in his back pockets and walk. When we grew close he told me that these were the areas where he loves my touch the most," says Anu, a hotel receptionist.
Hot tip : "Guys generally do this to highlight their physical size and body confidence," mentions Dr. Upadhyaya. "Men point at their best sexual assets and at the parts of the body where they would most like to be touched. For example, if during a conversation, he stands with his hands on his hips, he wants you to touch and admire his bottom," he adds.
He'll start playing with circular objects : Ever wondered why? They remind him of a woman's assets. "My best friend had a habit of fiddling with rolled magazines, newspapers, paper weights and any round object he could lay his hands upon, whenever we were together. Once he caught me in private and tried to get physical. I was bewildered. Later I read about this body language cue in a magazine and realized what his gestures meant. He always had sexual thoughts on his mind," says Priya, (name changed on request), a BPO worker.
Hot tip : "Men sometimes start playing with round objects while talking to the girl they have a liking for. They may squeeze a glass or start rolling it. The reason being their sexual inclination towards that particular girl," explains Dr. Upadhyaya.
He touches his face a lot : One of the ways in which a man's body speaks of his ardent feelings is the way he touches his ears, rubs his chin and pats his cheeks with the back of his fingers in front of his lady love. "I touch my face and neck quite a lot in front of the girls I have the hots for. It is something that happens involuntarily with me...mostly when I am nervous," says Jitender Bharadwaj, a BPO employee.
Hot tip : "It's a mix of nervousness and excitement. Attraction is a dangerous matter and our body can knowingly or unknowingly reveal it in ways that are quite unfamiliar to most of us. Out lips and mouth become sensitive to touch and other stimulations," says Dr. Akhouri.
Source:timesofindia

Comfort zones for sex

If boredom is setting into your relationship and causing doldrums in your sex life, it's time to shed your inhibitions and get more experimental to enhance sexual pleasure.
While you may have already indulged in different kinds of love-making with your partner, it's important to ensure the right settings to make the most of a night of passion. Be it the bedroom ambiance, surrounding items, lighting, aroma or anything that helps boosting your sexual desire, the decor of the room must be in accordance with your mood and the kind of sex you want to indulge in.
Marriage and relationship counselor Gitanjali Sharma elucidates, "Sex is a natural need for all human beings. But there has to be appropriate arousal for a night of passion and the environment, ambience and bedroom settings play a major role is stimulating your sexual hormones. Just like we eat when we are hungry, similarly, there has to be a sex drive and a physical desire to make you indulge in sex and it come from various things in the pleasure playground."
Couples indulge in sex for various reasons. Some want to experiment and try out new things in bed, while others love seeing their partner experience heights of pleasure. There are others too who love pampering their partner through diverse forms of sex.
Here are various settings that can enhance your sexual camaraderie.
Create an innovative environment during experimental sex
As the name suggests, an experiment signifies something creative and out-of-box, so it could be a wild sexual stint. Couples opting for experimental sex aim to bring back the excitement and lust filled initial-days of their relationship. No matter how long they've been into their relationship, there is a need to have an Earth-shattering sexual experience every once in a while.
DO IT RIGHT : Dr Amita Mishra, a sex and relationship expert suggests, "When it's about being experimental, try out just about everything. From the sofa to the floor, living room to the kitchen, bathtub to the garden, let your imagination take over completely. Enacting a porn star or a pole dancer act could take your spouse by surprise. Having meals in a semi-clad state will ignite your partner's erotic side. Keep sexual props like whips, chains, pompoms and streamers handy to add to the mood."
Pamper your beau during make-up sex
Make-up sex is a quick and effective way to get rid of an ugly argument, so if you had a gut-wrenching fight with your spouse, there can be nothing better than indulging in a sexual reconciliation. While the act gives you several chances to say 'sorry' to your partner, don't forget the right ambiance is e a blessing in disguise. Not only it will make your partner feel pampered, but also let you gradually descend towards a sex romp.
DO IT RIGHT : Marriage and relationship counselor Gitanjali Sharma adds, "Keep a nice musical show piece, preferably a couple doing ball dance, alongside the bed that makes a chiming sound to add to the soothing aroma that you wished to create. Also, a lavish chandelier placed right above your bed can create the right combination of light and shadow. Also, decorate the room with flowers, place some surprise gifts for your partner, use satin bed sheets, heart shaped pillows etc that create a perfect atmosphere that makes your partner forget the fight and enjoy the sexual gratification."
Keep it simple foe necessary sex
Necessary sex is all about decreasing sexual anxiety, accomplishing the Big O, and feeling good
about your sexual prowess. A sexual act that most couples perform as a vital part of a long-term relationship can also lead to special, intimate 'me-time' moments which relieve stress, burns calories and lift your sagging spirits.
DO IT RIGHT : Dr Amita says, "Just keep the settings simple. Stick to a conventional bedroom setting with a nice bed sheet and some scented candles boosting your sexual desires. A prolonged foreplay in or outside the bedroom area can gear you up for a gratifying act in bed. Indulge in a quick session of reading the Kamasutra to master new sex positions or watch a porn film together to set the mood for such 'necessary' sexual experiences. Remember, wearing saucy lingerie can also hit the right spot to woo your partner."
Sex on my mind on vacation
When it's about a sexual getaway, forget all domestic anxieties back home, as carrying them along will only decrease your sexual pleasure. Plan to have sex in a romantic locale that allows you to rediscover each another in a new light. Leave your laptop behind, turn the cell phone off and relax to make the sex better.
DO IT RIGHT : Gitanjali explains, "The perfect settings for recreational sex includes first indulging in a candlelit dinner with the right mix of aphrodisiacal food and wine, which you normally do not consume at home. A salsa dance session can further evoke your erotic senses, coupled with some sexual images placed appropriately on the walls of your room. Ideally try and opt for a room with a romantic or spectacular view of a lake or a mountain."
Bring vigour back during solace sex
Sex, undeniably, is the best remedy when you are feeling miserable, dejected, anguished or lonely. Sexual acts to relieve your tensions are more emotional, more engaging and possibly more expressive and thus the focus is more on cuddling, rather than on climaxing. Since couples look forward to intensifying their bond, the ambience during solace sex can really make a difference. Forget the regular bed; why not try it out in the bathtub?
DO IT RIGHT : Dr Amita agrees, "Use scented warm water, adding rose petals to set the mood, Furthermore, a hot shower together with your partner stimulates the sex hormones and also gives a chance for intimate moments. Lastly, a sensuous massage either with a chocolate spa or aroma oils can help in calming your tensed mind and thus giving you more comforting pleasure."
Keep it private for racy sex (one night stands)
Most couples would deny this, but love takes a backseat and it's the lust that comes to the forefront during a racy one-night stand. The lack of emotional attachment makes it easier for couples to climax.
DO IT RIGHT : There is something wildly erotic about the back seat of your car, or a dark stair case when you are in the throes of a quickies. The stimulation from the fear that you maybe caught red-handed leads to a lot more of experimentation, including oral stimulation. Get down and dirty, throw back your latent inhibitions and perk up the pleasure.

Myths about low sexual desire

There are lots of moments in life when you seem to be the only one craving for sex and your partner just doesn't seem interested enough.
Most couples have faced this situation sometime or another in their sexual life even as the sex nosedives and vanishes for days/months and in worst case scenarios maybe even for years. Learning to recognise the symptoms behind a low sex drive helps to get out of the sticky situation. Here are the most common myths about your low sexual levels:
Myth 1: Too much stress leads to low sex drive
Banker Rohit Khanna complained about high stress levels to his partner. "I was having a tough time with my boss in office. That affected my interest in sex, but Aradhana just wouldn't understand. We ended up fighting, with my wife accusing me that I just wasn't interested in her anymore and I was put off by the thought of indulging in sex with her. Finally, we both had to visit a counselor who helped us see the problem for what it was. It was also a time when I had begun to doubt my own sexual prowess. So yes, it was extremely traumatic."
Beat it: Psychologist Poornima Adhikari explains, "Couples often go through high and low phases in their sexual desires. It could be triggered off by anything and stress is most often one of the major reasons for a lack luster sexual life. The hectic lifestyle of today bears ugly aftermaths and thus couples must figure out ways to de-stress. They should look into common areas of interest that help them bond and find happiness together. And talking about your problems is a great way of lowering high stress levels. So communicate, take out time even if it's just 10 minutes every day to talk about things that are troubling you."
Myth 2: Women's low libido are governed by her hormones
Shraddha Singh, a hotel executive reveals that men often believe that hormones regulate a woman's intrinsic moods and desires. "Anand, my husband always fought with me when I told him that I just didn't want to have sex today. He inevitably blamed it on my hormonal levels, saying that women were victims of their hormones. But that's such a huge misconception. Our hormones are just like our male counterparts too." She adds, "Often, a low libido is caused by eating habits, fatigue, not enough sleep and many more physiological factors. Also it's about our mental health."
Beat it: Adhikari points out that low sex drive in women often stems from how they feel about themselves and how they view their relationship with their partner. So when women complain about a low sex drive, their partners need to make them feel good about themselves. Couples need to sit together and work out how on to improve their existing relationship. The woman must be going through some kind of complex feelings that need to be detangled to take the relationship forward at a physical level.
Myth 3: Medications help to boost low sex drive
According to Dr Swaroop Pandit, Anshuman Hospital, a dip in sexual levels is often
caused by circumstances men/women face which causes physiological and psychological changes in the body. "Often patients seek an immediate solution but it takes time to make them realise that there isn't any immediate cure. It’s better if they could see it very objectively rather then losing sleep over it. It’s important to realise that medications can sometimes have just the opposite effect. So, what is important is to seek out the root of the problem, whether it’s physical, psychological or any other. That is half the fight done."
Beat it: Psychoanalyst Sushant Chauhan points out, "Medication should always be kept as the last option. Patients can often be cured by simply addressing their problems. And more than men, its women today who complain about their low sex drive. There are women who are traumatised by the balancing act that they have to deliver everyday by looking into both their professional and personal lives, so at times they almost give sex a miss. Women also get involved with their children once they become mothers so it takes a while to get back their normal drive. What it requires is some patience, a lot of love and time. These factors can go a long way to cure the fears and inhibitions you have."
Myth 4: Sexual drive works in isolation to our body
Business analyst Deepak Sharma experienced a phase of low libido. Stricken by panic attacks and running to and fro between seeing doctors and meeting deadlines worsened the case. A chain smoker, his smoking consequently saw a heady increase. "I was totally losing control. I was embarrassed to talk about my low libido with my peers and I just didn't know what was happening to me. Some said I should visit a doctor, some said I should try out herbal medication. I was just not in a position to realise what was causing it. I began to drink steadily along with smoking, often going without meals. And all the time I was thinking how everyone saw me as this loser," confesses Sharma.
Beat it: "This is definitely a cause and effect situation. Men are known to give their sexual drive a lot of importance, so it's very natural for them to react in this manner. Men, in India are a shy lot and very rarely come out to address problems until they are pushed by their partners or family members. Firstly, be clear that it doesn’t matter that you are experiencing a low libido level. However, once you face such a predicament, do not aggravate the problem by smoking and so on. It is a fact that smoking can cause impotency, but many people still do not view this as a major problem. So if you are a smoker, kick the habit. If you drink too often, start counting your drinks. Reshuffling your lifestyle, taking a holiday, pursuing interesting hobbies often leads to reinstating your drive," says Chauhan.
Myth 5: High sexual life is equivalent to a good emotional intimacy
Quite often we are taken over by a secure emotional intensity that we share with our partner. And we take that as a guarantee for a fulfilling sex life. Like Shweta Trikha, a struggling model, reveals, "I found a lot of emotional succor from my partner, especially because of the competitiveness that pervaded my work life. He made me feel like we are best friends and nothing could be better then this. But our sexual life was losing its zing. And I didn't know how to get it back on track. Despite drawing so much security from each other, we saw that we were losing steam in bed. That was the time when I hit the alarm bell."
Beat it: Adhikari explains, "Couples often experience moments when everything is going right for them emotionally, except that they are unable to feel a sexual desire for each other. So, instead of getting overwhelmed, go easy. A way out is not to think about having sex and scoring highly in the act. Instead start by just being playful. Forget about doing anything that is normal; instead think of ways to make yourself feel sexy and desired by your beau. The best solution is to feel desired for desire to take precedence in your love life."
Myth 6: If your partner wants to have sex and you don't, then you can make up by showing love in other ways
Confesses
college-goer Amit Nagpal, "I faced this problem with my girlfriend. We would often have these dry spells where we didn't touch each other for months even as my girl craved it. I would try to make up for my low sex drive by showering her with gifts, telling her how much I loved her almost all the time. But there was no satisfying her. She complained about not kissing, hugging and I just couldn't explain that I didn't feel like getting physically intimate. Finally there came a time when I decided to give her a break."
Beat it: "This is a problem that is very common, but never understood. Every couple shares a different chemistry, but it is important to touch and feel each other. Especially for married couples, because even if you try to show your love in other ways, it can't compensate for lack of physical closeness. The physical aspect is more important and can't t be replaced by any other act. So it's best to say that you are facing a problem, instead of trying to hide it by resorting to other means to display love," explains Chauhan.
Myth 7: Low libido makes you less desirable
This is a prevalent misconception that can scar the psyche of a person permanently. Fashion designer Sonal Lal, says," I was engaged to be married, but during our courtship period, I just couldn't do get physical with my fiance. Every time he suggested sex, I refused his overtures as I was unable to feel any physical longing for him. This went on till he broke off the engagement complaining that I was cold and frigid and undesirable. The experience hurt so much that I kept away from men for a long time post my broken engagement. And whenever anyone tried to cosy up with me, I shied away being afraid of being rejected all over again."
Beat It: Explains Chauhan that no individual has the right to abuse their partner who may be facing these problems. "Yes, it happens that we might not feel attracted to the person we have planned to marry. It's important to question the basis of your relationship with your prospective partner then, rather then taking the blame on yourself. As discussed, there could be problems beyond the periphery of normal understanding. And desire stems from feeling good about yourself. First develop a positive image about yourself," adds Chauhan.
Myth 8: Sex is the only thing in a relationship
Gautam Nirula, a sales executive says, "I was always told by my friends that a relationship is based on sex. Thus, when I got married, I concentrated on that. However what I failed to understand was that sex depends on a lot of factors. I always wanted sex and my wife kept on refusing me. And instead of understanding her predicament, I remained angry with her. This resulted in a distance between the two of us. Only when elders interfered and counselled me, I realized what was going wrong. Today; I feel that emotional compatibility, trust and faith in each other make the foundation on which great sex is built."
Beat it: Explains Adhikari, "Married couples need to go beyond sex to get it right in bed. If you harbour anger or resentment about your partner you can't enjoy a gratifying sexual life. Often it's the emotional closeness that is most required. When couples come to me I advise them not to think about their physical needs. Instead they are advised to look out for the things they like/love about each other. And develop their bond from there onwards. They need to concentrate on the positives than seeing the negatives. This helps them to get your passion back.

9 mantras to reclaim your sex life

If the credit crunch managed to limp your sex life last year, then here are nine tips from an expert to help restore those lost charms in the bedroom.

Dr. Ian Kerner, a New York City-based sex therapist, said that recession had taken its toll on people in general who were subsequently “having less sex”. "Fifty million people are stuck in a sex rut. The economy inhibits a person's libido because they feel stressed and depressed,” Fox News quoted Kerner as saying.

The author of Love in the Time of Colic: The New Parent's Guide to Getting It on Again has proposed nine ways to help those looking to give a boost to their passion.

Here are nine ways to reclaim your sex life:

1. Just go ahead with it: “It might sound silly, but just have more sex. Your mind has become habituated to not having sex, so it’s hard to break out of it. You have to reconnect.”

2. Connect with each other: “You can’t just turn sex on when it’s time to go to bed.You need to build that sense of connection."

3. Stay positive: “Studies show that for couples to boost their sex life, they have to be positive. It’s easy to go home and talk about mortgages and bills, but if it leads to a negative cycle of communication, figure out a positive form of communication.”

4. Prioritise your relationship: “Couples are spending more time on Facebook and blogs. The next thing you know it’s 11:30 p.m. and it’s too late for sex. There’s no urgent need to check your BlackBerry — your relationship has to be a priority.”

5. Adopt and maintain a healthy lifestyle: "It's easy to binge at the end of December with the holiday eating and drinking. Get healthy and remain healthy. It will increase your sex drive and exercise will boost your self-esteem, which is crucial to enjoying sex."

6. Reveal fantasies: “In sex, you often do the same things, rely on the same moves. Share a fantasy. Or, if you feel your partner is lacking in attentiveness, instead of criticising, express it in a sexy way.”

7. Lend a helping hand: “A lot of women aren’t interested in sex because they have other things on their minds like chores, dirty dishes and men can’t always appreciate that aspect. If men help and create an environment where women want to have sex, that’s really important.”

8. Be honest: “One of the benefits of being in a relationship is that sex isn’t perfect — guys are subject to their issues, women are subject to theirs. If in ’08 you were saying something didn’t matter, (maybe) it does in ’09. Sex changes from year to year and ’09 is a new year.”

9. Create the right environment, ‘the love nest’: “Put a little more energy into your surroundings. Create a surrounding that appeals to your senses.”

SEO, Google And Sex

Tel Aviv ---- October 21, 2009 ..... The following parody is a cute tale of SEO, Google and sex which may have it creative origins in India. A magical place where thousands are employed for only a few dollars and whose mission is to attract both reader and search engine using any means they can. These busy Indian optimizers use a variety of legal spam methods, including employing the word sex to attract. Sex is the number one searched word on the Net with over 582,000,000 pages coming up on Google.
Even The New York Times has worked to ensure that its site and search results are incredibly Google friendly, so Google friendly in fact that a recent search for “sex” on Google currently serves the NY Times internal archive search results for sex as #2.

In the story below, notice how often the word sex is used, along with the words Google and SEO. But what really made us smile in writing and editing this story was how organized and creative the writer was. He didn't just throw out some words hoping that some literally trash would stick to the search engines. For it remains the creative balance between good and interesting content and the optimization of that content which makes today's Internet Web and news author relevant.
SEO or search engine optimization is a term widely used in Internet marketing. It is quite useful for any Website in Israel, New York, London, Paris, China or India for increasing traffic, sales and services. It is crucial for any site to achieve its optimum ranking results in Google, Yahoo and numbers of other search engines.
SEO is the process of increasing the volume and traffic to a web site from various search engines by increasing organically the search results for targeted keywords. Usually, the earlier a site is presented in the search results or the higher it “ranks”, the more searchers will visit that site. SEO can also target different kinds of search, including image search, local search, and industry-specific vertical search engines.

Now, what is sex?
I think there is no need for the explanation of this term because it is the most searched term on the Internet. Everyone knows about sex and its importance for stability, sensation and satisfaction in life. So, it is referred to as a basic need. In the same way as SEO is critical for your site.
Why SEO and sex is important? SEO is important for the instant growth of your business. If you are not ranking well in the search engines then it can help you in various ways. It will enhance your site traffic. Traffic will increase your sales and services as you penetrate the market.

If you rank well, you may even establish a brand name in your specific market.

Sex is a sensation which is most important for a healthy, happy and peaceful life. A greater satisfaction may increase your thinking and coolness in life. If you enjoy healthy sex on a daily basis then it can enhance many other aspects of your life.

For ultimate satisfaction, a healthy sex life is important. In the same manner with SEO if you secure more organic traffic results on Google then the greater will be your satisfaction.
With a more natural and open approach as to your involvement in sex, the more powerful the sensation. In the same perspective as when you get a boom in business then naturally powerful results may fill you with sensation.
There are various similarities between SEO and sex.
But there are some differences which makes SEO better than sex. Well friends, I am going through the alphabetical approach to describe how SEO and sex is similar and dissimilar.
Both create sensation. SEO and sex both create intimacy and boundless sensations. SEO is a sensational thing for any Website and sex generates sensation through physical intercourse. As I stated above - SEO brings traffic to a site organically or naturally and sex creates sensation in the orgasm and in the human body by a natural phenomenon.
Both are organic functions - although both can be paid for. But please, do not confuse Google Adwords with prostitution. Although both may be optimized through the use of keywords.
As traffic increases for a site it brings new customers and increases business for the company or organization behind the site. In a similar way, as the climax during sex increases the pleasure increases. So, traffic for a site may be simulated with the orgasmic climax in sex.
Expertise is needed. In both cases an expert may generate wonderful results.
An SEO expert can manage the site for Google and Yahoo rankings well in the SERPs and secure increased traffic to the site. It is the tactics based on extensive professional marketing knowledge, social networking (Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, blogs), Web 2.0, viral marketing, PR and the practice of the SEO expert by which he or she can have a site ranked high in a very short time for targeted traffic. A practice which can work quicker and stay stronger than Viagra!
In a similar way, an expert in sex can generate more pleasure than a new member. He or she may know about the right sexual positions, time and the procedure to follow which can increase organic results and pleasurable sensation in the body.
Optimization is critical. Here is where SEO differs from sex because the word sex does not contain the letter “O”. SEO is the process of optimizing search results by using the professional knowledge of an SEO professional.
Professional SEO services will increase the optimum results day by day. But in the case of sex a human having more sex may lessen his or her interest and stamina with time.
Then we have the X - Factor. The “X Factor” refers to the indefinable“something” that makes one thing better than other. SEO is the process of making an “O”rdinary site into an e“X”tra ordinary site so the X letter is silent in SEO in this way. So, here is the difference or X - factor which differs SEO from sex and makes SEO more potent than sex.
Well friends, SEO has an extra silent X which proves that it is better than sex.
Now let's examine excessive linking in SEO and excess of sex.

Excessive means “exceeding a normal, usual, reasonable, or proper limit”. Linking which means “to become connected with or as if with a HTML link”.
Google released their guidelines on Link Scheme and below one can find violations of Google’s Webmaster blackhat practices that can negatively impact your site’s ranking in search results.
One must be wary of links intended to manipulate PageRank. Links to web spammers or bad neighborhoods on the web. Excessive reciprocal links or excessive link exchanging such as "link to me and I’ll link to you." Buying or selling links that pass PageRank are also forbidden.
Excessive linking may harm your site SEO Google search results and authority. When you link excessively the search engines will stop counting them when evaluating your authority.
Now in the case of sex the result is the same.

Excess sex may be harmful to your health. Some health care providers say that excess of sexual activity can put an extra strain on your heart, especially if your heart is already weak from a heart attack or heart disease. There is an exception to this rule when it comes to prostate cancer where recent research indicates that daily sex and or masturbation may actually reduce incidence of this cancer by up to one third. And that daily sex for females may actually act as a catalyst for them to perform more domestic chores. Please do not slay the messenger here for these recent news developments.
Now for our professional assessment of the effect of no SEO and no sex.
If a site owner has no SEO then he may loose an opportunity to increase his or her business. And the site and owner may worry about other tactics which may be far more expensive for him or her. And he or she may go for paid or sponsored referrals such as Google Adwords - or sponsored links. And he or she may loose the opportunity to secure customers naturally.

These men are optimized but not for the Internet. The INA cautions all males athletes from taking part in sex before participating in sports. This is due to endorphins being released from the male's brain during sex. Research does indicate that endorphins have little or no affect on SEO, social networking, Web 2.0 or Internet marketing practices.

In the same way in the case of no sex the life of a human being may become random and full of dissatisfaction. We only recommend no sex activity in sports for male athletes about to set Olympic records in track and field, basketball, football, soccer, tennis, skiing, baseball, cricket, swimming, hockey and shooting. Sex is a basic need so its fulfillment is necessary for a healthy and peaceful life.

The concept for the above news story was found on the Web from SEO experts in India. We from the Israel News Agency spent hours correcting grammatical mistakes but must give credit to our busy friends in India for their unending, relentless enthusiasm and non-verbal Web creativity.

If you care for more information on SEO or sex, you may check out the following websites: Israel Pr.com (English), Israel SEO Pr.com (Hebrew) or New York SEO Pr. Or you can take a relaxing and sensual trip with us to India in the near future!

Source: http://www.israelnewsagency.com